to get DD a white poppy to wear at a remembrance service?

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

She is 14 and has been selected by the school to represent her house at their service.

DD is vehemently pacifist and anti-war.

Rather than her get in trouble for refusing to go (which is what she is planning on doing) would it be unreasonable for her to go but to wear a white poppy instead of a red one?

In WW1 aged just 17 my great gran nursed in a field hospital in belgium behind the trenches. She risked her life under heavy shelling caring for young conscripted soldiers who died of horrific wounds defending western europe from German invasion.

In WW2 my grandad fought with Polish refugees whose towns had been destroyed by the Naxis. My 16yo nan delivered ARP messages during the blitz. ALL her young male friends were killed defending this country. Millions of kids + teenagers in nazi occupied countries were murdered for their race, religion, or for resisting the invaders.
If your DD wears a white poppy or even none at all during the service then she will be showing a total lack of respect and understanding of the sacrifices made by millions for her freedom.

I personally think 14 is old enough to understand the bigger picture. It is possible to have respect for men and women who defend our country without agreeing with the political decisions that got them to that point in the first place.

If she is against the idea, the only thing she can do is write an eloquent letter of decline to her house/ the school about why she wishes not to attend.

I have always bought and worn a poppy and have always considered it to be an act of remembrance for those who lost their lives in previous wars. Then, this year, I have seen several posters with injured service men and women from (quite clearly) wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. And it has made me think twice. It's not that I don't support the families of those who have served in those wars too. I think it's more that I see service in the armed forces these days as being a choice over a forced conscription.

Oh God, am probably not making much sense and may be causing offence. Am going to stop now!

She hasn't been asked to represent her House - she has been told to represent her House. I would have issues with the school.

I think many of you should consider the views of Harry patch on Remembrance Day "Just showbusiness" he called it. And who has more right to comment than him?

Those who think the white poppy is disrespectful, can I ask a couple of questions? (genuine)

1. Is it more or less respectful to wear a white poppy than no poppy at all?

2. what does the white poppy mean to you (in itself - imagine someone wearing a red one and a white one, what is the white one "for")?

'It is possible to have respect for men and women who defend our country without agreeing with the political decisions that got them to that point in the first place.'

This! Especially when they are in conflict zones that have nothing to do with defending our country.

Gallum

She should not wear a white poppy at a Rememberance Service. It will just make her look insensitive, self serving and attention seeking. She has every right to express her opinion (after all this is what these many soldiers died for - freedom) but if she is refusing to go she will get herself into even more hot water.

If she is refusing to go then she should stand down now and give someone else an opportunity. How was she chosen exactly - by ballot?. If so she should never have put her name forward.

I'd actually make her watch "Not Forgotten", that C4 programmed presented by Ian Hislop (all four episodes). One of the best series of programmes re WW1 ever made.

That would also teach her about sacrifice and the red poppy not celebrating war.

to me it just makes me think the wearer is some sort of attention seeker, they should start their own white poppy day, then it would have more impact.

Guitargirl - I know exactly what you mean but you might want to look up the poverty draft.

Agree completely, skeletonFlowers

I don't think you should make political points at a memorial service. You wouldn't agree to say a few words at a funeral, then use those words to say you thought the deceased was wrong about various things.

She hasn't been asked to represent her House - she has been told to represent her House. I would have issues with the school.

I think many of you should consider the views of Harry patch on Remembrance Day "Just showbusiness" he called it. And who has more right to comment than him?

Your DD might like to consider the fact that if everyone outside Nazi Germany had held her pacifist views 70 odd years ago, then there would currently be no Jews, gypsies, disabled people, non-white people etc left in Europe.

And if she refused to attend a service celebrating the continued dominance of the Third Reich and the Aryan race then she'd most likely be shot.

GiddyPickle, the problem is that the money currently goes not to those who died to defend us, but to those that got injured fighting wars that had nothing to do with our defence. And who were not conscripted, but joined for money.

But absolutely agree about behaviour at a funeral service. I would allow her to withdraw if she were my dd, but not to attend to make a point.

Rhinestone I agree. We are remembering not only the dead, but what they did for us. Easy as it is to say war is bad and no one should fight. In WWII especially I'm not sure we had much choice, and they've given us the freedom to say war is bad and protest.

Cory - ROFL at a private soldier joining the army for the vast wealth and riches on offer.

I think many of you should consider the views of Harry Patch on Remembrance Day "Just showbusiness" he called it. And who has more right to comment than him?

Herbietea - exactly my point and a very good suggestion.

The school has paid her the compliment of asking her to represent her house at a service of Remembrance.At 14 she is old enough to see the meaning behind it-it doesnt glorify war it remembers all those who gave their lives so that we could live in peace and freedom.A white poppy sticks 2 fingers up at that.She should have the courage to tell her head of house how she feels and let her place be taken by someone who will respect the occasion and understand the honour of being chosen.

My ds was named after Wilfred Owen, who gave his life in WW1. He was invalided out and didnt have to return to the Front. He chose to as a mark of respect to fellow poet Siegfried Sasson. WO was killed going over the top the week before Armistice Day and his parents got the telegram with the news of his death on AD as the bells were ringing for peace. Every child should read his poetry to understand the Futility of war.

Well I have the absolute honour to be marching in the Remembrance Parade at Whitehall this year and I can honestly say it will be one of the proudest moments of my life. I will be wearing my poppy with so much pride!

I think if she were my DD and she really didn't feel comfortable the most noble thing she could do would be to approach her head and explain why she felt unable to represent her school at the service and maybe someone should be given the opportunity.