to get DD a white poppy to wear at a remembrance service?

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

She is 14 and has been selected by the school to represent her house at their service.

DD is vehemently pacifist and anti-war.

Rather than her get in trouble for refusing to go (which is what she is planning on doing) would it be unreasonable for her to go but to wear a white poppy instead of a red one?

You are against war, therefore you don't want to stick something on your jacket which represents that -- ie a red poppy. Presumably you are not talking about a pro-war badge, you're talking about social pressure to wear a red poppy.

I'm not trying to trick you noddy but that's what you said.

Lots of people on this thread say they are not claiming the red poppy is pro-war or glorifies war -- but actually it's quite clear by their other comments that they do think that.

Yeah you said that about Harry Patch before. Who has more right to comment? How about all the thousands of servicemen and women and bereaved who have an equal right to comment?

You can try and trick me all you like!I will never wear or buy one and do not think there should be a special day for any one member of society when a lot of people do amazing things.Some of the drunken nazis i see wearing poppies locally do nothing to make it any more attractive to me.

And I'm not stopping them wearing as many red poppies as they wish. Those of you who are speaking for them (hope you've asked them all!) are trying to stop me wearing my white one.

I don't think the red poppy is pro-war, I think there are some red poppy wearers that treat the remembrance day more bombastically than perhaps they should (esp. politicians).

I would be interested (because I genuinely don't know) how the germans remember the war dead and see if that were different.

I don't think even that's true Seeker -- lots of people like me, the majority, have said it's rude and will offend if you wear it at a Remembrance Service. I actively dislike it but I wouldn't stop you wearing one any other time. I wouldn't even stop you or this girl wearing it at a Remembrance Service but I think it's rude and attention seeking to do so. You're doing the straw man thing there. Pretending people are trying to stop you.

Yes it's that war condoning comment that gives me a right wedgie.

here

I agree with Nordic Princess.

I can see where everyone is coming from with the opinions on here but I think the most important thing we are forgetting is the freedom of choice that we have now (for the moment at least).

When the young men went to fight for us some chose to but more importantly some did not have a choice, I'm sure they would have wanted to. She is 14 and learning to grow into what ever human being she may become. If she is being told what to do, where is her freedom of choice? Yes we all have to follow rules at some stage in our lives and she will learn that and learn how to deal with them base don her own values.

Give her the knowledge of both sides of the story and let her make her mind up. If she decides to wear a poppy and has back lash for it, she will have to learn to deal with it. It will not be the first and probably not the last time she will come across someones disapproval. Everyone let her be. She will learn and she will grow.

This entire thread is about why I, and people like me should not wear a white poppy!

and the war condoning, while we're on it?

It's about why this girl shouldn't wear one to a memorial service.

It's not about you. It's not about her. It's about a lot of people who died. And you worried about being called attention-seeking?

Noddy, you think the red poppy is pro war ((like the white poppy website) and you don't even know it

it's nice to have an opinion but even nicer to know what it is

I've never worn a white poppy, but the longer this thread progresses, the more I'm interested in their campaign.

Ritalynn, Yes I feel the same actually.

Rita-Lynn, you don't think the red poppy is pro war but you are "interested" in the campaign which says it is. Are you on the point of changing your mind to the view that the red poppy and remembrance service are pro-war? despite the fact that so many white poppy wearers say they don't believe they're pro-war, they've persuaded you to join a campaign which says they are?

does any white poppy wearer really know what they think here?

OK. I don't think that Remembrance Day is overtly pro-war.

However, I do think that anything which seeks to emphasize the glory of war - the ceremonial and glamour of marching soldiers and bands and traditions - helps to normalize military response. And it helps to distance the horror. It presents a Rupert Brook rather than a Wilfred Owen view, if you like. And as it's the only time in the year when most people actually think about thinks like this, it seems to me to be a good idea if the broader picture is available.

I am old enough to remember when disabled veterans were initially not wanted at the Falklands Thanksgiving ceremony. I think that sums up how SOME people view things.

You believe it's covertly pro-war?

Out of interest, with your deep knowledge of the peace poppy website, why did you earlier not understand that people could be offended by a white poppy which is explicitly saying Remembance and the red poppy are pro-war?

Surely you can understand why this op has been given the advice and opinions she has, bearing this in mind?

I can't imagine why anyone would be offended by anybody being anti-war!

I agree about the Falklands. I think the Albert Hall may be what you are thinking off, and I can see how that would jar. But Remembrance Services? Red poppies? You take it too far.

They are offended by being told they are pro-war. Obviously.

I don;t think any sane person is pro war. But they can be pro militarism, and a military response.

Witness the fact that it is often impossible to question the war in Iraq or Afghanistan because the questioning is seen as not being supportive of "our boys".

Appletrees,

I think you're misinterpreting the white poppy campaign. I know what I think, perhaps you're confused. The white poppy campaign is anti-war. That doesn't mean it states the red poppy campaign is pro-war.

I don't think the red poppy campaign is pro-war per se, but rather that is has become associated in some quarters with a glorification of the military and war. To take an example, in modern parlance, it's almost become the norm to refer to anyone serving in the military as a "hero", and I feel uncomfortable with that.

Appletrees what did i do before you told me what i think!Patronising?I am 45 and have got this far knowing my own mind thankyou.I have said repeatedly I would not be prepared to wear something in public singling out ANYONE for something they have done.I respect the soldiers and the dead as other human beings who lived through what must have been a terrible ordeal but that is all.I have no problem with others making a public statement but i won't be a hypocrite.