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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dare to suggest that children are better off NOT in nursery til 3?

303 replies

WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 14:43

AIBU to NOT buy into the belief that exposing toddlers to every bug going is good for their immune system? Nurseries are terrible places for bugs and so many DCs spend half their time with D&V, colds, fevers, rashes etc. If you want an example of the 'constant cough/cold syndrome' look on Childrens Health!

True some parents have no choice and children do need to see other children. But they dont do much interactive play before the age of 3 and their immune system has plenty of time to build with more limited contact with other kids and adults.

My own DCs went only to playgroup weekly before school started, and they didnt collapse under the bombardment of viruses when they did go, just the usual minor stuff. My DD never had an antibiotic til she was a teenager!

Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:06

well op doent want any flim-flam about chosing to work.and why should she be subjected to such notions of choice,volition,enjoyiong work.we live in a germ pool and it is nurseries fault.clearly

tholeon · 29/10/2010 20:49

heck. Kept my baby away from other kids and germs for months after he contracted parainfluenza at 4 months and ended up on a ventilator for 8 days (he had a birth defect we didn't know about then.) He is 16 months now and we are gradually mixing again and he has had a few colds recently but he had months without exposure to anything.

Now I'm worried about leukemia. Great... Does the research say you have to have had loads of different germs or does a big fight against just one count???

piplin · 29/10/2010 20:51

I think a lot of people have jumped to their defenses because they can see sense in what op is saying.
I don't think she posted it to make people feel guilty, just wanted people to look after their own kids if they are able to/keep them off nursery if they are ill.
she didn't lecture working mums or dads.
but made a quite plausable observation that children who mixed with other children with viruses etc are likely to catch them, this unfortunatly seems to be a nursery.

what is wrong with keeping your children at home until they are 3 and their immune system has built up its defenses naturally?

piplin · 29/10/2010 20:52

tholeon, don't worry about leukaemia, the research from what I've read is very sketchy!

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:54

tbh,take anything you read on mn with pinch salt.its a discussion board not evidence based medicine.and this is her daft opinion

be a cold day in hell before i live my life by mn posts

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 29/10/2010 20:56

theleon* dont waste your time worrying about luekemia. There is fat fuck all you can do about it.

You have enough on your plate if you baby has health issues. Please dont let it get to you.

There really is nothing to be done about leukemia so there is nothing to be gained from even thinking about it.

When i say nothing to be done, I mean about getting it, not treating it.

I remember one 'study' saying it was caused by children sleeping with the light on. Whatever Hmm

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 20:57

tholon. There are 300 children in the UK diagnosed with leukemia each year(lymphoblastic the one in the research quoted). Of the 300 80% will be cured. Its not something I would waste time worrying about and not imo a persuasive argument for sending babies into nurseries if the parents have better alternatives.

OP posts:
PortoFangO · 29/10/2010 20:57

tholeon, please don't worry. These threads are awful because they hit mothers where it hurts. There was a horrible troll recently that implied that ff caused cancer. It is ALL bollocks but people are entitled apparently to come here with supposed medical knowledge and push their own agenda. Please ignore and discuss medical matters with your GP/Paedatrician as appropriate.

piplin · 29/10/2010 20:58

yes and turning the light on in the middle of the night!, FGS STOP crying I'm getting there as fast as I can, whilst tripping over toys and standing on lego!

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 29/10/2010 20:58

But why is a child more likely to catch a virus at nursery than at playgroup, soft play or any of the other places they are taken by SAHMs?

I would have thought that, if the nursery has a robust policy on sickness, a child would be less likely to get an infection via nursery.

Anyone can take a pox ridden kid into soft play or one with bird flu swimming. From the posts on MNS I know they do it too.

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:59

op do you feel bad your alarmist post has upset mums?

piplin · 29/10/2010 21:01

the op post didn't upset tholeon it was thoes who mentioned leukaemia, read the thread!

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 29/10/2010 21:01

weak those stats are misleading.

I have heard anything from 80-95% cure rate for ALL. Its not a cure, its remission and they do not take into account the age or sex of the child at DX.

I dislike those stats because they give a false sense of complacency and I have seen them quoted by charities who are trying to 'poach' funds from those specialising in blood cancers.

HeadlessPrinceBilly · 29/10/2010 21:02

Twat off OP, and anyone else rolling up with the YANBU's.

Lets close all the nurseries then, how many hundreds of thousands of early years childcare workers will then be on the dole? And every mother who uses them, they better stay home too, all so diddums doesn't catch a cold?

Morons.

piplin · 29/10/2010 21:02

from what I've read W&M has tried to reassure her

PortoFangO · 29/10/2010 21:03

Mrsdv, they're not of course. My ggmother had 14 children. Can you imagine the norovirus going round that house, or even a cold?

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 21:05

domeafavour got upset,others upset by developments.alarmist post

piplin · 29/10/2010 21:05

hardly alarmist, more of can I bring to your attention!

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 21:06

dome said she was in tears

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 29/10/2010 21:07

Or anything involving vomiting and the squits ewwwww. With an outside toilet as well.

piplin · 29/10/2010 21:10

I really don't see this as alarmist, its not saying If you leave your childern in nursery they will have a shortened life span.

which is worthy of the daily mail Hmm

think just a generalised moan about her work which a lot of people do on here!

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 21:13

dome. was in tears about what some other people had said, read the posts!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 21:13

wasnt a moan about her work.was gripe about nurseries and some disputed research that nursery is harmful to immune system

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 21:14

yes initiated by your post

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 29/10/2010 21:15

milky do you really think that children get more infections at nursery as opposed to other play groups/play areas? See my post of 20.58.58

Genuine question.

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