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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dare to suggest that children are better off NOT in nursery til 3?

303 replies

WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 14:43

AIBU to NOT buy into the belief that exposing toddlers to every bug going is good for their immune system? Nurseries are terrible places for bugs and so many DCs spend half their time with D&V, colds, fevers, rashes etc. If you want an example of the 'constant cough/cold syndrome' look on Childrens Health!

True some parents have no choice and children do need to see other children. But they dont do much interactive play before the age of 3 and their immune system has plenty of time to build with more limited contact with other kids and adults.

My own DCs went only to playgroup weekly before school started, and they didnt collapse under the bombardment of viruses when they did go, just the usual minor stuff. My DD never had an antibiotic til she was a teenager!

Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 29/10/2010 21:58

But weak, why do you dismiss all the research? I mean every little bit of it? Even the asthma stuff? Aren't you interested, even professionally, in learning about the useful aspects as well as the downsides?

PortoFangO · 29/10/2010 21:58

I don't get your argument at all W&M. I sent my dd to nursery because I had to work, not to build up her immunity. And I never spoke to any parent that used that as a reason for anything.

Francagoestohollywood · 29/10/2010 22:02

As far as I'm concerned, nurseries offer great childcare, op. Nursery detractors always view them as a vacuum, where a child is left 24/7 for 4 and ahlf yrs... Hmm

camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:02

Honestly there is not a day/hour/minute goes by on this bloody forum that doesn't involve us ripping shit out of each others' life choices (or in this case often lack of life choices). It is the one thing about Mumsnet that really REALLY pisses me off.

We are all different.
Our children are all different.
We make different choices about our childcare.
Some of our children will be ill, some of them seriously. Some will not.

Some of our children's illnesses may be a direct result of our childcare choices. Many will not.
Statistics are meaningless until that one in a thousand or whatever is YOU. And even when it is you, it does not give you the right to slag anyone off for their choices. Which they have made. With their brains and in the context of their lives.

Get off your cross, someone else needs the farking wood.

hf128219 · 29/10/2010 22:04

Actually MandW I think you are just an absolute shit stirrer.

You wont upset me - but you know you will upset a lot of people.

Is that what you want??

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:07

Boffin... 1. There are no grounds for saying sending children to nursery is good for their overall health either.

Which has been my point all along.

If people choose to get angry and defensive about their choices, maybe they should re examine their choices instead of getting so agressive with people who have an alternative view.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 29/10/2010 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:12

It's not about having an alternative view, it's about having a view and telling people with a different view from that that they are wrong. By starting a thread about it on a popular internet forum. In an area known to be contentious.
YANBU to think anything you like, YABU to tell people they are wrong for their life choices. That's why I'm personally getting a bit bum-in-hand about it all.

BoffinMum · 29/10/2010 22:13

[Hm] Er yes, Weak, there were actually, which is why the authors bothered publishing the papers.

PortoFangO · 29/10/2010 22:15

"There are no grounds for saying sending children to nursery is good for their overall health either"

There are no grounds for saying sending children to nursery is bad for their overall health either.

So pack it in with the scaremongering.

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:18

Boff. I will read the Asthma one again, and - honestly I am not being sarcastic - I will offer it up as a solace to the mum who is struggling to control her LOs fever at 2 in the morning. If I can say something positive along those lines I will, I promise. I'll probably get my head bitten off then too! But if you're a nurse you get used to people taking out their frustration on you.

OP posts:
camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:19

Do you get your head bitten off a lot WAM? Do you think some of it might be in the delivery?

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:21

kerching.killer line

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:21

There you go Boffin, Someone accused me earlier of having a perfect life and a perfect family. I obviously dont and I have had as many problems as anyone else. Which is exactly why I am not judging anyone and their life choices and never have.

OP posts:
camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:22
Shock
Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:25

For the posters who have said I have judged and condemned anyones life choices kindly point out any one sentence where I have done that????????

At work (nursing) thankfully I dont get my head bitten of often, because I am kind and coureous.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/10/2010 22:27

well omfg

good find, BM

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:28

you are judging? but you said "Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery"

aye mums use nursery - get over it

no one needs to explain self or choices.and yes they do chose nursery.

i dont care whether people do/dont use nursery.i do however challenge purposefully having go at nursery just because

BoysAreLikeDogs · 29/10/2010 22:30

No need to engage any further, see BM's post of 22.10

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:32

Boffinmum. Can I ask why it is relevant on a discussion about health and nurseries to point out that my son had ADHD and my grandson has cerebral palsy? Does it further your argument. Is it meant to humiliate me or bring me down? How extremely sad that a supposed educated woman needs to resort to playground bullying.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:34

WaM so far youve called bully at everyone,except yourself

funny that

wonderstuff · 29/10/2010 22:34

Does bug me that it is always the mothers who choose or don't choose to work who choose or don't choose to send their children to childcare. Children have two parents.

camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:38

It's clear from both your tone and your words how you feel about it, talking about putting tiny babies through misery, risks of meningitis (fgs!), people not putting kids in nursery if they had any alternative, that sort of thing.

Putting your children in nursery is a life choice, people sometimes put their children in nurseries when they do have an alternative because that is their considered choice as the best thing for their child. It's not your place to slag them off for it.

I'm sure there are life choices you've made that other people don't agree with. I genuinely don't understand why it's so important for some women to be "right" about their own choices and ram them down other women's throats. We're all in a shitbucket really, we should make the best of it and leave each other alone.

camerondiazepam · 29/10/2010 22:39

xpost with scottishmummy, who put it better (and shorter)

Original poster
WeakAndMilky · 29/10/2010 22:43

I am leaving the whole thing alone now as some low life thought it appropriate to bring a disabled child into it to bolster their shitty argument.

OP posts:
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