AIBU to dare to suggest that children are better off NOT in nursery til 3?

[WeakAndMilky]

AIBU to NOT buy into the belief that exposing toddlers to every bug going is good for their immune system? Nurseries are terrible places for bugs and so many DCs spend half their time with D&V, colds, fevers, rashes etc. If you want an example of the 'constant cough/cold syndrome' look on Childrens Health!

True some parents have no choice and children do need to see other children. But they dont do much interactive play before the age of 3 and their immune system has plenty of time to build with more limited contact with other kids and adults.

My own DCs went only to playgroup weekly before school started, and they didnt collapse under the bombardment of viruses when they did go, just the usual minor stuff. My DD never had an antibiotic til she was a teenager!

Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery.

Weak - who cares about minor infectiosn if it means they are protected from some really nasty diseases that could kill them?

I know these diseases are rare but anything that makes it less likely that Dcs will catch them is worth putting up with a few sniffles for IMO.

My DD is not in a any ordinary nursery...

...she's in a Montessori nursery

And why she is there is farking obvious actually, I have a feeling she will catch far more colds from having to live on the streets than being in a place she loves 3 days a week!

"kungfupannda I am willing to share, however you need to state your credentials first "

thefinerthingsinlife - I would, but I fear that might count as "banging on".

Im talking about minor infections that go on for months through the winter with fevers, vomiting and never well. The numbers of children who develop ALL is tiny, and there are other types of leukemia. There is the risk that kids in high density environments will catch meningitis. Several schools and nurseries have had to give abx to contacts of kids with bacterial meningitis. Far more worrying than ALL imo.

I NEVER spout my view to my patients, they have enough to contend with".

The readers of AIBU have enough to contend with too, but feel free to add another dose of anecdotal, judgy-pants nonsense to the mix.

I think a nursery is all wrong for a child under 2.5.I have read lots of theories and research and IME the most credible studies are that long nursery hours are damaging to this age group.My own experience is that they tend to be the ones most likely to have behavioural problems too.However I am well aware that this is MY own opinion and others may equally well think the opposite.

Of course they catch bugs when first exposed to other children. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. Imho, we had a spate of it when dd was little and first started at nursery - enough so that my boss was pissed off that I kept going home - but these were all minor short term things, mostly related to throwing up i.e once. They didn't take any chances.

But since then she has been generally robust and healthy.

"My own experience is that they tend to be the ones most likely to have behavioural problems too"

Really? Is your own experience an extensive study of the relative rates of behavioural problems in nursery attending/ non-nursery attending toddlers? If so, you should really get on to the Daily Mail. They would probably put this information on the front page.

Weak - I have personally never seen kids at Dcs nursery or schools with the perennial infections you describe - surely they must have immune system problems?

Spiderpig - can you give us links to those studies?

For the record, I don't agree with you as I have never seen anything to persuade me your view is correct. I have the right to my opinion as do you.

Sorry have not read the entire thread.
I have a child under 3 and a lot of friends with dc under 3.
my dc doesn't go to nursery/soft play I believe he gets all the socialisation he needs from me and close family and friends.

Some of my friends dc go to nursery, they have no coice and its up to them, but I feel so sorry for them coming home with god knows what and needing anti-biotics at 6 moths old, your not telling me that is a healthy choice to make for your child, when you have other alternatives?

sorry but OP YANBU

I love these threads-they turn up with regularity! I guess people are very insecure with their own choices when they have to prove that their choice is best for everyone!

love a good ole nurseries are stark depriving and cruel dank places as told by wummin at bus stop/disgruntled worker/precious moments mama.love the spurtious research from shitsville uni or biddulph to prove they beat dem children

cause they dont have an axe to grind

do what you want with your own kid and stop bellyaching about everyone else.

and dont offer a wee caveat ach well i suppose if you have to work,will let you off with it.....oh err gee thanks

scottishmummy - I love the sound of spurtious research. It sort of sounds like it explodes pointlessness all over the place!
The OP is definitely spurtious.

Quite, SM.

I wonder if the OP has ever even been in a nursery?

my DS (now 9) went to playschool/nursery from aged 2 and has NEVER caught a cold/bug or needed antibiotics ........... (and he didn't HAVE to be at nursery - I just felt it was better for his socialisation - and my sanity ! He's never picked a bug up from school either - some children get ill, some don't. Some children stay at home and get all sorts of illnesses - so what?

Please can someone remind me what I'm meant to be feeling guilty about tonight? I've completely forgotten the OP.

Indeed.

Looking at my four, the SAHB (stay at home babies) got more wrong with them than the POHB (playing out of the home babies). Poor DS4 (SAHB) for example seems riddled with viral stuff at present, gummy eyes, ear ache, snotty nose and no doubt his fourth ear infection looming. But the only thing we can blame that on is him picking something up in a local shop (as it's half term and none of his little music groups and things are running).

But as NewOrImproved put it so well, the plural of anecdote is not data.

Richard, it is the childcare guilt thing tonight.

Tomorrow we will probably be back on competitive birthing or some such.

OP, did you have pain relief during labour

My DD has been in nursery for a few months. The only bug she has ever caught was from her daddy. So therefore adults should all be banned from going to work too. And we will all live happily ever after.

my filofax doesnt say its rip the pish out of working parents.so glad i didnt miss it

I always cringe when I see any theory that so and so prevents childhood cancer.

Nothing does. Its fucking relentless and if anyone thinks sending their child to nursery, feeding them organic food, hanging them upside down for an hour a day is going to make a iota of difference , it wont.

I know this if off topic but I knew luekiema would raise its ugly head on this thread somewhere. And it did.

BTW not anti nursery. All of mine have gone from 2, 2 and half, 3 and 3 and a bit years. The youngest may go from 2 if funded places are still available.

I have heard loads of arguments for not sending your kids to nursery but because they are unhealthy? Thats mad IMO.

My baby just had a chest infection. He got it from his brother who goes to school. So unless you only have one child who never goes anywhere, what the hell difference does going to nursery make?

i see my gp everyday,as we both collect from nursery.out of interest op what do the gp and practice nurse in your work do?dont they use nursery

Has the OP said terrible things about nurseries generally or working parents? I thought she just made a crazy leap between nursery and immune systems. Although I would think generally the pawing little toddlers pick up more there than at home with a parent, but I would think that no child lives in a bubble.

Sorry meant to finish.....and anywhere else they mix with otehr children.....

Well said MrsDV. Some people don't seem to have anything better to worry about.