To think I should be able to be a SAHM when dh earns 65k

[wishiwas21again]

How much do other sahm's partner's earn?

sorry partners - it is late!

When I was a SAHM DH earned less than that. I suppose it depends where you live and what your fixed outgoings are. Or are you disagreeing between you whether it is doable?

Why can't you be?

why, what's the story?

half that!

Not that straightforward though?

It really depnds on your outgoings and whether your individual financial circumstances can sustain it.

Our household income is substantially above the national average. I still can't afford to give up work though as our mortgage is also substantially above the national average.

You can trim some expenses - food, holidays, cars, clothes etc but you all need to be committed to that as a family.

My dh earns that and i'm a SAHM and we do OK although we will feel the effects of the reduction of child benefit.

It's got to the point now where what you earn is irrelevant. It's what you don't have to pay for that really matters. Cost of living too high.

I was a stay at home mum when dh was earning 16k

I agree it depends on your outgoings. I earn in excess of 50K but we need DH to work, albeit not full time.

I'm sure you can be, it is a question of what you are prepared to stop buying though - presuming that you are earning at the moment so therefore this would be a drop in income for your family.

You can do it in any wage bracket. It just depends how you and your family want to live. Obv.

Depends on your outgoings and expectations. My partner earns more and I worked till recently.

Exactly Trinity.

absolutely depends on outgoings

dh earns less than half of that but we could afford for me to be at home (except that dcs are now of an age where there wouldn't be a lot for me to do)

but that's because we bought our house during the last recession, so our mortgage is very low

Depends on your outgoings.

bubble - that is true.

It is to do with expectations though. DH's salary looks great as a headline number, and so it is easy to think 'oh we should be able to afford to do/have/buy xyz', but the reality is that by the time you have paid tax on it and then basic living expenses (mortgage, council tax, utilities) then there actually isn't a huge amount left. Life is very expensive these days.

Not sure - dh earns over twice that...at £65k - I'd have to work but then dh always argues that at £65k he wouldn't have to work as hard - he has in his dreamy mind this notion that people on £65k work 9-5, so I'd be more able to work.

DH earns a third of that and once DC2 arrives in April it is very likely that I will be a SAHM as my earnings would not cover childcare for 2 babies.

Yes, sue52, good advice, you have to work it all out. I am SAHM, out of necessity initially as my contract came to an end and now choice... we have chosen this way but its a compromise, we don't live the life we did previously. I hardly ever go shopping now and if I do, its for DD's clothes. We have enough 'stuff', so no new clothes, CDs books, 'things' etc. I could go on.

Good article in Guardian money a couple of weeks ago about how you make money go further.

DD earns and lot lot less than 65k, we live in greater London and have a huge mortgage (not a huge house, just we bought in 2007 first time and it is a major out-going).

I think it is hard if you have become used to a certain salary to then take a drop.

We earn a good wage but because we earn that wage we are paying for the care of elderly relatives and helping out other members of the extended family. We could of course stop doing so but it something we need to seriously consider when looking into our working arrangements.

It doesn't just depend on outgoings or salary.

It also depends on your husband being happy to be the sole earner.

Nobody is entitled to stop working just because their spouse earns over a certain amount.

Fair point spidookly.

fair point skidoodly but I think the op was coming from 'dh doesn't mind being the sole earner but can we afford it nowadays' route

You are right spidooky, it is a huge pressure on the sole earner. DP and I have agreed to continue as we are until December when we will review it. He is freelance and takes more evening work, (lucky that he can increase his earnings that way) is not home so much for bath and bed but he thinks DD and I are better off for it, its right for us right now but it could all change.

I do a lot more housework than I ever did as I am at home more and that is a shock to the system... but thats not for right now!

I mean the conversation about housework once you are SAHM... sorry, its now to late for me!!