To think I should be able to be a SAHM when dh earns 65k

[wishiwas21again]

How much do other sahm's partner's earn?

Yes, agree Ripeberry, have read an article in paper that worked out what would cost to family to provide SAHM type care & it was something like £30K, thats looking after DCs, housekeeping etc, although prob talking about children under school age.

No it doesn't! You can do it for much less. Cleaners and so on are not a necessity. I know plenty of people with no housekeeping help at all. If you had 4 dc in full time childcare and cleaners, gardeners etc, yes maybe, but most people don't.

all depends om how much debt and mortgage repayments you have imo

But how much would a full time nanny cost (in replacement of SAHM)? Because nursey/childminder is not the same. And would nanny do housekeeping or working partner do the cleaning??? My DP works really long hours & if I needed replacing cleaner would definately be needed as well as nanny. (ps My DS is in school now so am talking about when he was under school age)

No, nursery/Cm is not the same, but it is what the majority of WOH families use, and no housekeeping. I might have misunderstood but thought that it was being suggested that everyone on whatever income could stay home because the childcare costs were so high. I prob misunderstood.

wishiwas21again if you want to work, have you thought about NHS Direct (NHS 24 in Scotland)?

No, I was intending my post about the value of SAHM for OP & others in similar situation to not devalue themselves, yes, it can def be done cheaper for working parents.

at least twice than that, depending on how many kids you have....

need to add: if you live in an expensive big city.

Do you volunteer?

I think it depends on where you live what your outgoings are and if they are very high then are you prepared to cut back can you cut back etc , we did it for less than that when mine were little but i lived in a 2 bed flat iyswim , some peoples mortgages are so big they cant afford to not work ,

It is an old thread ppl.

from 2010

DH earns a bit more than that and we could never afford for me to be a SAHM. I don't earn as much as DH but do earn a semi-decent wage (around £48k).
However this is due to lifestyle choices - size of mortgage, nice cars, good holidays. If we were willing to give up some of the nicer things then maybe we could afford it but it would be a very difficult lifestyle change.
Not sure what my point is? Actually I'll take my first statement back, we could in theory afford it but the lifestyle changes would too much of a compromise iyswim?

DH earns just under £1000 a month net. I am a SAHM. It's what works for us, and is what we both want, for the time being at least. We have 5DCs with 4 still at home, and our youngest is just gone 5.

Our combined salary is 30K (OH full time, me 32 hours a week)
Mortgage is over £700

I cant cut back any further on anything, but we do have a Sun holiday every year

My DH earns about 75k and I am a SAHM. I've been a SAHM since we had our second child, 7 years ago, and at the time DH was on about 25k and we still managed ok, although we did have a tiny mortgage and very low outgoings then compared to now.

We are really comfortable on his current wage; we're sensible with money, I meal plan, sell the childrens' old clothes on Ebay and shop at Asda and Aldi. Because we're careful, we're able to save a lot of money each month, and so can afford to have a foreign holiday each year. Our mortgage is pretty low too, around £650 per month. We are in the south east, about 90 minutes from London, but houses are quite a lot cheaper here than in the home counties, and we also have the advantage of having bought our first house at the tail end of houses being dirt cheap, so our mortgage is low compared to lots of other people.

My husband earns around 55K, and I am a SAHM. I used to earn 50K from a 3 day week, but chose to give it up - as it was too much of a power struggle about who'se job was most important. Guess what, he now moans about money troubles, and I'm left feeling bad that we don't have our wage. As for the kids... they are MUCH better off for it (though I have also become my mothers taxi service).

DH earns just over that and overall I can't afford to be a SAHM. Apart from our day to day outgoings, there's my pension to consider, educational opportunities for the DC and job security.

Going on just current living expenses (not taking a longer term view), it depends entirely on where you live and your current debts etc.

wishiwas21again We live in Scotland, not in a city, we have 1 DC (still a baby) so probably not a bad comparison. I earn about the same as your DH, varies between 55-80k as commission based, DP is a SAHD. We have £650 rent and £200 councill tax plus bills (although I do have a company car). I have had a bit of debt from uni to pay but if it wasnt from that we would be reasonably comfortable including a holiday abroad and the odd meal out etc... It would barely be worth OH working as he'd only bring in about £1k a month and childcare would be abou £800 so i'd rather she was with her dad for the sake of £200. if we had more than one there's no way we could afford for DP to work.

Also, whoever mentioned £65k being 9-5, you can inform your DH that while i'm sure they exist i'd suggest they are few and far between. I work around 50 hours a week, think about work 24/7 and never switch my blackberry off- even on holiday. Maybe I'm just trying to work towards the £120k+ jo b by pretending i'm already there...

I am ashamed to admit I have no clue about our finances. I couldn't even tell you what our mortgage is

I will probably get slated for it but dh is an accountant so I am happy to let him deal with all the money

He seems happy enough to be the sole earner at the moment and assures me we can afford for me not to work

I think you are actually overlooking the most important thing and it isn't what your DH earns...
If you can't control your money, you can't control your life.

At the risk of appearing rude, you sound like a surrendered wife.

Depneds - £65k is a totally diffrent number if you are in rural Scotland vs urban London.

My partner earns well in excess of that, and we don't have a mortgage, so yes, I could afford to stay at home. However, for me (and DP) it's very important that I make a contribution financially. When I went on ML I had no intention of going back to work and thought being a SAHM would be blissful. It wasn't, and I admire anyone who can hack it.

Old thread!

But anyway, doable in most places. We are on South Coast, v expensive and afford it on less than that as dh took a cut to have 5 yrs out doing other stuff and has just rejoined his former profession. We have no debt bar mortgage which seems a lot to us but isn't for the area, can save a little, have some disposable income etc.

It depends on your circumstances. We managed - just, on similar amount at one time, but have a large family.