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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many people you have slept with?

202 replies

redflag · 26/10/2010 21:31

I just wanted to ask, sorry if its a bit rude, How many people you have slept with and how many you would say is normal?

OP posts:
RedHeels · 27/10/2010 16:36

18(ish) as I think I might have forgotten one or 2... I'm 27 and the majority was between 20 and 22...

RedHeels · 27/10/2010 16:38

or: "(...) the majority were (...)"?

AuntieBulgoria · 27/10/2010 17:00

14 I think. Add probably another 5 if we are counting sticky fumbles.

Am 34 and have been with Dh 11 years, so all but one of those were inbetween the ages of 16 - 23.

I regret some of them because I used to get myself really quite drunk and didn't make good choices. Of the others, well I enjoyed myself and am glad of having had the variety.

I do wish I had had sex with another woman before marrying dh.

DialMforMother · 27/10/2010 19:28

I'm a bit :( and a bit Angry to see that it took 16 posts before someone called someone else a hooker here. I know it's i n jest but I really think we should be way past judging one another for daring to have/enjoy sex.

ledkr · 27/10/2010 19:34

I had two periods of "fun" both after big marriage/relationship breakups.Looking back i can see i was searching for a bit of comfort and was hurting lots at the time.
I do not regret it one bit tho as i was always in controll and never got hurt.
I agree with others and dial m that we do not need to judge or be judged for having and enjoying sex. Its 2010

goodnightmoon · 27/10/2010 20:00

i think the hooker thing was a joke, in response to what was clearly another joke.

reporting 14 here, fwiw, between the ages of 16 and 30 and with number 13 since then. (number 14 was pre any sort of commitment)

YaddahYaddahYaddah · 27/10/2010 20:21

How long is a piece of string?

I had this conversation recently with a group of female friends, well kind of, the question was 'how many men should you tell a man that you have slept with' there were five of us in the group and three of them were obviously more active than two of us as I had thought the answer was the standard oen from 'American Pie' which is half as many as you actually have to which another friend answered 'but a male friend of mine told me to say no more than 10 and your way would be a least a 100" She's 26. Mine answer is WAY lower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

borderslass · 27/10/2010 20:27

4 i'm nearly 40Shock and have been with DH for over 21 years

lal123 · 27/10/2010 20:30

Loads between aged 18 and 19 - can't really remember but in region of 15 or so. Since 19 - only 1 in the last 16 years (DP)

LittleMumSmall · 27/10/2010 20:43

20, I think. Haven't counted up for a long time! Am 34, have been with DH now for 6 years. Nearly all in university years...ooo, happy days...Grin

notevenaghostie · 27/10/2010 20:54

6 I'd call relationships.

Been with my wonderful DP for over a year and he knows. (Tho his is 3 and 6, respectively, but we have talked and I guess people are different and do not conform to stereotypes - I'm female)

Quattrocento · 27/10/2010 21:44

I don't mind being called a hooker. On another thread, someone called me a Leftie and a Labour Party Supporter. I'm sure you'll all agree that that was significantly worse

frgr · 27/10/2010 22:00

H and I got together in our first year of uni, first and only sexual partners for us both. friends have sometimes thought i was all puritan when they've asked and i've been comfortable enough to tell them, but it just sort of happened like that. i've no regrets, H says he doesn't either.

i had 1 longterm BF before H though in the last 2 years of high school, H had been out with a few girls before uni, but never done the dirty deed with anyone

Diziet · 27/10/2010 22:02

Sometimes I wish that Mr Diziet had been my one and only. And sometimes I wish I'd had a rather more adventurous girlhood!
Hey ho - it's all gone now. All we can do now is look back, laugh, cringe, wince, cry....and so on!!
Wink

TrinityTheTwattyRhino · 27/10/2010 22:04

8

one my gorgeous late husband

4 others were relationships

other three well erm Blush

I'm 32 was married nearly ten years before he died

Booboodebat · 27/10/2010 22:17

About 20.

A nice, solid number.

I'm 35 and have been with DH for five years.

Booboodebat · 27/10/2010 22:18

Oops. Nine years.

(Sorry DH).

Cloudbase · 27/10/2010 22:18

Oh Trinity, am so sad for you that you lost your gorgeous husband Sad

On the thread front, I'm totting up 7 here. Doesn't seem a lot really given that I hit the big 40 this year, but one of the 7 was the most wild, ecstatic, amazing sex I have ever had and I wouldn't have missed it for the world

(drifts off into happy reminicences of former wild and ecstatic love life)

SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 27/10/2010 22:34

I said some women who only ever sleep with one man are missing out. Not all. If a couple get together young and are both willing to learn and explore together, they may well be happy and have a great time. If either one of them has gone into the marriage a virgin and someone raised to think that sex is awful and only for making babies, or that men 'need' sex and women put up with it, then they will not have a good time.
And any man who wants to marry a virgin should be avoided - this nearly always means he is a lazy, selfish sex partner who wants to be able to convince an inexperienced woman that a quick fumble and a dozen pumps really are what 'proper' sex is all about.

vespasian · 27/10/2010 23:28

Grin quattro

mmmwine · 27/10/2010 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
redflag · 27/10/2010 23:47

This thread has been very interesting, i am not as subnormal as my friends make out! a few on here have been with one as well.

Like i said, i had many boyfriends and they key for me was, not being pressured into sex, as soon as the pressure started, i lost interest. And would dump them, i was a very pretty girl so never short of a date, so would think i don't need to feel pressure from you!

I found the right one in DH, never pressured me, and couldn't believe his luck that i was with him (always a good attitude for a bloke to have i think ha ha )

I got lucky he is my best friend too

OP posts:
justsue · 27/10/2010 23:58

OMG 6 for me and I am 46!! but they were good at the time I suppose. Two I was married to the first one I had only met twice and married him on the first meeting :( thats another story

Cloudbase · 28/10/2010 00:08

Redflag, that's so sweet!

foreverastudent · 28/10/2010 01:07

Given the average on this thread, I'm glad I never actually said.

It does p* me off though when people assume that lots of One Night Stands means bad sex or that the person is emotionally damaged/looking for love.

Personally I did it for the love of orgasms Wink