to expect my wine to be drunk?

[HannahHack]

I have a very old friend (known since we were 3) and she has a long term DP who is lovely but a massive, massive snob. Particuarly about wine.
We eat at their's very often, as they prefer to cook than be cooked for (but that would be another thread).
I always bring a bottle, often two, as they are heavy drinkers and I want to contribute if they are cooking for me. However, I often bring some wine, it gets opened and poured out for me and DP. Then, my friend's DP brings out a bottle from his Wine Society case, opens it and drinks just that for the evening.
Am I being unreasonable to be offended by this? My DP is livid but says there is no point in trying to bring it up.

That is bloody rude......I would probably say something or maybe just for once bring a really expensive wine ( not saying that you are taking cheap rubbish BTW)and then if he dares go to drink it say something.

He sounds like a dreadful penis.

Some people are just plain rude and, to my mind, there is no excuse for it. It would not kill him to drink a glass of 'inferior' wine every now and then. Is there anyway you could meet up with your friend without having to see him?

That is horredously rude either he should put your wine away and you all should drink wine society stuff or you should all drink your wine. YANBU.

The only exception being is if, like me, the only wine you drink with anything is sauv blanc then the host is within their rights to also open something that goes with the food but tbh most good hosts would offer a white and red option anyway.

@rubyrubyruby No, nothing German! He only drinks French which I occasionally bring, though he doesn't drink what I bring even then.

He looked horrified when I bought a really nice Chillean once! (sp?)

(BTW nothing wrong with German wines, I just prefer my wines drier)

He serves you your wine and he drinks a "better" bottle?

He doesn't need to serve your wine (wine brought to a host should be a gift, it's his choice to open or not) but he should have the common decency to pick either yours or his and everyone drinks the same thing!

Why don't you start bringing something else?

Take tequila nect time, by the time you have had a few glasses of that you should have enough dutch courage to tell him what a twat he is.

@Bue They ask us to bring wine!

Sometimes his posh mate joins us and they drink the posh stuff while we drink other stuff. They even wait until we all have our glasses full before they open their wine so that they don't have to offer it.

why do you keep taking wine over? agree that you should take some other "hostess" gift and. thinking about, these gifts are meant for the hostess so why is he being so judgy about it?

Next time they do that pour your glass down the sink and say 'i'll have some of that' and pour yourself a glass.

Do you think the expectation is that we bring Wine Society wine to theirs?
Thing is, it's not possible with our budget. We bring nice wine but not £150 a case suff. Basically I am asking is it fair for them to expect that?

my DH is a highly qualified in the wine and spirts industry and whilst alone we drink some very expensive wine. When we have guests he chooses something that compliments the meal and that everyone should enjoy. Even if someone else serves something at their own house which he would consider not great quality he just drinks it and remarks that it is pleasant.
I have to say having met a number of wine snobs people who claim to enjoy good wine the ones who only drink French actually know very little.
I am going to recommend a little bit of something German and sweet with dessert particularly your christmas pud, but maybe not a liebfraumilch.

I would expect a massive snob to know that it is awfully common to treat your guests with such disdain.
Come and have dinner here, we'll drink whatever you bring

If I'm cooking dinner for someone I'd expect to choose the wine. If someone else brought wine I'd see that as a present for us to be drank when we chose rather than drank with the meal.
Take chocolates or some flowers if you object to their wine policy.
Do they offer you some of their wine?
They sound rude. If a real friend I'd raise it with her and ask if best you take chocolates.

"Basically I am asking is it fair for them to expect that?"
No, and no real friend would expect that either. I hope she is lovely cos he sounds like a dick head. In fact it's rude of them to "ask" you to bring anything really.

YANBU - next time take flowers!

Well might be what you would class as wine snobs. Our neighbours make their own and when we go round they offer us some. It's awful, really really bad. I have to confess that when they come round here, I take their bottle of plonk into the kitchen and fill their glasses up with it whilst we drink our own bought wine. However I would never do that in front of them!

Some people are terribly fussy about wine and I know that Chilean wine is considered inferior for many reasons. Same with New Age wine from Australia and America.

I would suggest that next time you buy a good wine and see what he does with it. If he has a glass you can always say "Oh, I see your trying our wine for a change! Wow we must have impressed you!" This draws his attention to the fact that you have noticed what he has been doing but in a non-confrontational way.

So to recommend some good wines for you. Well head for the French section. Never buy a wine that is marked down, it's usually marked up in price weeks before and then knocked down to what appears to be a bargain but is only what it's real worth is.
Never get a screw top.
Go for a Chateau.
Read the back and ensure that it is made and bottled in the same chateau.
Get a full-bodied red.
Oak-aged would be brilliant. Try to aim for a wine that is a couple of years old at least.
Chateau David from Sainsburys is just over a fiver and a good quality wine from Bordeaux.
The best ones are St.Emillion Grand Cru but that will set you back £20 or more.
Aim to spend over a fiver on a bottle of wine.

omg - no you are not being unreasonable - how rude

I can't believe what some people think is an acceptable way to treat a friend!!!

How rude!

My DH loves good wine - sometimes we have very expensive bottles and other times we have not very expensive bottles - depending on the occasion, food and the type of wine our guests are likely to enjoy etc.

He would never,ever dream of serving our guests something different.

Having said that we do quite often forget to open wine, chocs etc that people bring in all the frenzy of preparing, eating, drinking, chatting and then feel mean when they have gone home!

Sounds like a complete arse to me! Most people that appreciate good wine are able to appreciate from a range of categories - his behaviour is ugly snobbery and nothing more.

I would just stop taking wine altogether and take your friend something you know she will enjoy like flowers or chocolates. Alternatively you could take an affordable wine that you know has received rave reviews and then talk about it over the meal.

Erm, I think it depends on the wine.... if we had guests and the wine they bought was shite, there's no way we'd drink it just to be polite. OTOH, I wouldn't serve theirs just to them and drink a different one myself, I'd just thank them, stash it in the rack, and use it for gravy at a later date. So YANBU, I guess. When we have people round for dinner there are usually several bottles of white and red (and often bubbly) open at any one time - people can have whatever they like!

Can't you say "ooh that looks nice...could I have a glass?" to him?

Just because someone is a wine "snob" doesn't mean they know anything about wine, as posters on this thread have demonstrated....

What peeringintothevoid said.

Also, if it's white, don't expect it to be drunk if not chilled.

And NEVER put red wine in the fridge.