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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my wine to be drunk?

121 replies

HannahHack · 20/10/2010 13:07

I have a very old friend (known since we were 3) and she has a long term DP who is lovely but a massive, massive snob. Particuarly about wine.
We eat at their's very often, as they prefer to cook than be cooked for (but that would be another thread).
I always bring a bottle, often two, as they are heavy drinkers and I want to contribute if they are cooking for me. However, I often bring some wine, it gets opened and poured out for me and DP. Then, my friend's DP brings out a bottle from his Wine Society case, opens it and drinks just that for the evening.
Am I being unreasonable to be offended by this? My DP is livid but says there is no point in trying to bring it up.

OP posts:

BTino · 21/10/2010 09:41

Why what does it mean?

theskiinggardener · 21/10/2010 09:57

Oh dear, the Wine Society would tell him he's an unreasonable prat too. I would ask to try his wine, seriously if he says no then I would leave as he has just proved how rude he is.

Wine tits snobs like this give everybody that likes wine a bad name!

whoneedssleepanyway · 21/10/2010 09:57

I HATE wine snobs.

My uncle is one, it is cringe worthy, I have been at dinner before and he has passed round an article about the wine he is serving. One of the funniest things I saw was one Christmas going to a drinks party with the family, he took the hostess and bottle of wine and as he handed it to her said "I think you will find this is rather good", the look of horror on his face when he saw her topping up peoples glasses with the wine he had brought and thereby mixing it with in his opinion "Cheap plonk"

i am of that if it tastes nice i will drink it, don't care about where it is from or year etc and if it is cheap even better

Diamondback · 21/10/2010 10:22

I hae a friend like that who, even if she comes to my house, will insist on drinking the wine she brought with her without even looking at what I'm serving first.

This is because ONCE, about seven years ago, I send my (now Ex)husband shopping wtih strict instructions to get a nice bottle of white and definitely not Chardonnay, as I know my friend is picky about wine and that she hates Chardonnay.

Being the dick he is, he came back with two bottles of £3.99 Chardonnay and it was too late to go to the shops for more.

All the same, I do find it rude that she won't drink anything I bring. Last time I went to see her, she served her own wine and beer and then insisted on giving me back the wine I'd brought - I felt like saying, what am I going to do with it, I'm bleeding pregnant!

I don't know, I was brought up to eat or drink whatever was put in front of me at someone else's house, even if it's vile. The number of times I've forced smoked salmon (which I loathe) down while going 'Mmm, yummy, what a treat!'...

So next time, I'm going to wait until she's poured her own bottle, then whip out something really delicious and expensive for the rest of us to enjoy. Any white wine recommendations (not that expensive though - I am poor!)

NordicPrincess · 21/10/2010 10:28

i hate french wine its disgusting. give me new world wine ANY day

pickledbabe · 21/10/2010 10:55

BTino - Trockenbeerenauslese (literal meaning: "selected harvest of dried berries") is a German language wine term for an intensely sweet dessert wine-style wine.

2rebecca · 21/10/2010 12:58

I don't see anything awful about discussing the wine you are serving if you enjoy good wine. I don't think that's snobbish.
I like both expensive and cheap wine depending on my mood and the occasion.
If I'm offering guests a nice wine I would discuss it if they are interested, in the same way if I'd cooked something a bit different I might discuss it if it came into the conversation.
I wouldn't want someone topping up 1 wine with another and if someone did that with a good wine I'd brought them they'd get 4.99 cava (which I enjoy) and box of chocolates next time.

GivesHeadlessHorseman · 21/10/2010 13:24

I think that just about sums it all up 2Rebecca - what a common sense balanced post!

Quenelle · 21/10/2010 14:58

Very rude. Almost as rude as assuming that just because you said you can't afford to spend a lot on wine, that means you don't know that white wine should be chilled and (most) red wine shouldn't...

altinkum · 21/10/2010 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anniegetyourgun · 21/10/2010 15:24

Am I being totally unreasonable to suspect the friend asks you to bring wine especially so Mr Snob can show off that his taste in it is better than yours? (I was going to say am I being paranoid, but it isn't me they're out to get so I don't think that counts.)

deaddei · 21/10/2010 15:29

I have a friend who knows I loathe Chardonnay, but always brings a bottle round......I would open the bottle, but drink my own tbh. Have a few bottles on the go.

2rebecca · 21/10/2010 15:51

That sounds like a strange friend. I'd ask her why she brings chardonnay when she knows you dislike it.
If it's the only wine she drinks and she brings it for her fair enough, but it seems an unfriendly thing to do otherwise.

pickledbabe · 21/10/2010 16:22

I think he asks her to bring wine so that he doesn't have to share.
he obviously missed pre-school.

Hulababy · 21/10/2010 16:43

Someone who truely knows and cares about their wine would never be a wine snob and would be willing to try all wines before making judgement.

Any half decent human being would never make negative comments in front of their guests - unless standing family/close friend type jokes that are two way.

The wine you take to for the host is supposed to be a gift. There should be no expectation for it to be drunk that night. A bring a bottle night is different.

The man is the OP sounds like an unpleasant selfish man - nothing to do with wine.

Myleetlepony · 21/10/2010 16:45

He's being extremely rude, and I don't know how you've resisted commenting on it for so long. I'd have called him out ages ago with a comment like "Oi, what's that your drinking then? Is it too good to share with us plebs?".
I unexpectedly found myself in a weekend country house party once. I met up with a mate who was visiting from abroad, who said "Meet me at xxx and we can stay with my friends who live there for the night". So, expecting to bunk down on a sofa in a 3 bed mid-terraced, I purchased two bottles of what I thought must be very nice red on the way. Well, at about £5 a bottle it must be good innit? As I drove behind my friend's car between two stone gateposts with lions on the top, and up the sweeping gravel drive I realised this probably wasn't a fish n chip supper evening. . I'll gloss over the isolated country-house splendour, the vast grounds, the suite of rooms I was shown into. I'll spare your blushes over what I'd taken with me to wear that evening. . It was just the way my hostess reacted when I presented my two bottles of Sainsbury's select that you might enjoy. She said "Oh... thanks..." and my bottles vanished never to be seen again. Gravy makings I'm sure.
The wine at dinner was lovely though.

HillyMcGrew · 21/10/2010 16:47

Why not wait til he goes for a loo break (at glass 3 or 4) and help yourself to his personal stash?

dinkystinky · 21/10/2010 17:24

OP - what does your friend drink? The wine you bring or the posh wine her partner gets out?

FetchezLaVache · 21/10/2010 21:22

BTino: as pickledbabe explained! But it's not so much what it means as it being quite an intimidating-sounding word they will probably not have heard of, know what it is or how to pronounce it.

Aussieng · 21/10/2010 21:37

He is extremely rude.

I'd take some unchilled white wine next time and say "sorry it is not chilled - we'll have to have some of yours for now".

Also re red wines and refrigeration - that rule relates to a time when room temperatures were MUCH lower than in modern centrally heated houses. An awful lot of reds - eg Pinot Noir should be chilled for a short time (I tend not to let guests see me do this as some tend to think I'm the one who knows nothing about wine)!

Minione · 21/10/2010 21:52

What a rude knob! I know a little bit about wine but am no means an expert but Idiots who 'only drink french wine' or 'only drink red' get right on my tits.
We have a friend who told us she only drank french wine and looked down her nose at the bottle of Gewutraminer (sp?) we took around! On another occasion we had taken a bottle of white around (can't remeber what), Dh was drinking beer and I was driving so only had one small glass of the white. She had been drinking red wine and was quite drunk and asking us to stay over as the white wine would go to waste. She said that neither her or her DP drank white, what a waste etc. However, she then ran out of red ( she had about half an inch in her glass) and clearly decided white was better than nowt and topped up her glass with it, making a lovely homemade rose type drink. Hmmm, what a wine connoseur.

So he is basically a rude twat who probably knows very little about wine!

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