To be fed up with 'expats'...

[EveWasFramed72]

I am an American, living here in England with my British husband and children (who have both nationalities, but have only lived in England). I've been here for 4 years, and when we were first here, I was miserable;I was at home full time with a new baby, then preganant running after a toddler, basically no close friends, etc. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and got myself a life: went to uni, got a job, driving licence and created a life for myself outside of my husband. Now, I love our life here, I have loads of friends, a job I like, etc.

But...I am part of a group of American women living in the UK, some of whom have been here longer than me, married to British men. They won't drive, work, survive without several care packages of food from home(because they can't possibly eat what's on offer in England), basically, they sit around and moan about England, and how much better EVERYTHING is at home.

Now, I love my home country, and I do get homesick sometimes, but I just find myself fed up with these women who have given up on life because they are living abroad (and didn't they REALISE that marrying someone from another country means living in said country at some point???). When they aren't moaning, I do enjoy them...it IS nice to have home connections, but this attitude of deliberately NOT acclimating drives me nuts , and I feel like they make the rest of us who enjoy life in England look bad!!!

Rant over...I know, you're going to tell me to cut them off...and I have largely...just not completely.

I just want to know if this is 'typical' expat behaviour?????

thebossofme - I am sorry you are still having a hard time in Bangkok (I remember you from another thread). But don't feel like you have to make friends with the locals/non-expats in order to be happy. Just be friends with whoever you get on with, wherever they are from.

If it helps, it took me a year to get past phase 4. I am probably now mostly in phase 5 with the occasional day back in phase 4 when things really get to me. But it does take time and it will get easier. Come post on the "when the UK sleeps" thread if you feel like a moan.

Look at these babies.

www.dallmayr-versand.de/

Ex-pat's behaviour is nothing short of a the behaviour of an excluded group of people from the big community. Is the same in every culture- quite intresting how people settle in Britton- they always look for similar people and mindset.

I would cut off anybody who is judgmental about my life whether is an expat or not. But they have to be judgmental so they create a false gravity towards the group rather than comunity- us against them!!! And you can not sit in the middle!!

if you cannot havethe passport, at least get yourself the coffee!

At this point in time, with this budget just announced, I have to say my feet are developing a distinct itch.

I confess I do actually have some of the coffee as I brought a fair bit of stuff back with me in the car in August. It's lovely, all mellow and lemony, unlike bitter English style coffee. Best with a bit of cream in.

But it's the hulking great basket of Bavarian goodies I want, with a bitter chocolate torte and a bottle of Sekt for now, and a Weisswurst and sweet mustard supper tonight, preferably with a fresh Pretzel and a bottle of Wheat beer.

If they had a culinary citizenship test I am sure I would pass with flying colours!!!

want to swap expat? Haven't been to Scotland since I was five.

if you were German, boff, you would get too fat by the sounds of things.

Best stay British

I would add to this that my husband has put a lot of effort over the years into making sure I don't buy the Heimat boxed set and get all maudlin and homesick when I am in this kind of mood. However I have 5 more weeks of sick leave and I am sorely tempted.

I am actually moderately fat. I am descended from the Entenmann family and like a bit of cake.

For England, Bat?

No thanks.

:)

It's not the whinging I object to, Gloomy ...it makes sense that living in a foreign country there are going to be things that we want to have a good ol' moan about with people who understand. I definitely do it sometimes, and have done with these American friends.

What annoys me is that it's not just moaning; these women REFUSE to integrate or make friends with local people. One of these women (who I am not friends with anymore) will NOT allow her daughter to acquire a British accent...corrects her, the lot. It's insanity, but she isn't the only one of these women who act like this. I'm all for a good moan, but when you live here because you married someone from here, it seems reasonable to expect that you give life here a shot (as I'm sure they will expect their DHs to do if/when they move to America).

I am intersted now - which nationality do you think gets the most homesick?

if you won the Nobel prize for anything, I reckon they'd consider you German in no time at all.

Does that help?

No no expat, I'm in Italy.

I bet they would too.

I will point this out to Mrs Merkel when I write.

Sadly I do not do research in a Nobel-friendly area.

That reminds me of my mum Eve... she would never let me watch the Muppets or Sesame Street because of the dreaded American accent. I agree, it is taking things way too far, how do they expect to be happy?

Eve, you are saying nothing my mum didn't say when we were young. She had one or two German friends, but really was such an Anglophile that she thought they were bonkers to push everyone else away, and rather ignorant too. I think she had a point - it just makes families unhappy when the womenfolk are bitching away about something silly like that.

I would definitely consider Italy. I'd go for France first, probably.

LOL @ Gloomy as if the accents were the worst thing about The Muppets!!!

Good question BoffinMum , but I'm biased...the Americans seem to be the ones I hear complaining the loudest, so I'm going with them! :)

I agree, Boffin...it's so much easier to be happy!

I would go with the Americans as well. I think it is a national pastime, actually.

I took my mum to the US for a trip a couple of years back, and it was funny to see her reaction. It was along the lines of 'Is this it then? It's all so old-fashioned. Why do they make such a fuss about their country?"

And this was Boston!

Well if you're driving you'll only get as far as France before you run out of petrol and have to wait three weeks for them to stop striking and serve you at the fuel station.

Then the kids can have another three weeks holiday while the Italian teachers decide whether or not to go into work or not. Life's a beach on the continent.

Nooooooo!!!!! That is too funny, Boffin!!!!

Yes...the way over the top patriotism is a little much, but I have to say, it is one of the things I do love. The downside is that I think Americans are rather isolationist...they don't really 'get' that not everyplace is like there. I remember my best friend's reaction when I told her I couldn't get Clorox kitchen wipes here...she seriously could not believe that we didn't have 'normal' American stuff in England!

In France only DH and the kids would have to deal with the language barrier .

IME, just about any place starts to get old after 10 years.

In reality, long-term, I'm not sure I can live here for good.

Things can really get tricky if and when one's parents become seriously ill or die.