To hate the way my in-laws do the food part of Christmas?

[TattyDevine]

I know I am being unreasonable about what is a common difference of preferences so try and treat it as a lighthearted thread though feel free to tell me IABU because I am.

First: Disclaimer - I am very glad my Parents in law are alive and well and able to spend Christmas with us. Whilst I hate the way the food is done, I am "grateful" that they do it - well, sort of - we do it every second year and we make a better effort at appearing grateful than they do - we at least thank them for the meal and make appreciative sounds throughout. So if anyone says YABU for being ungrateful, fine, but it kinda goes both ways and yes, I would rather be at home doing my own food, I go there for the sake of my DH and children. That's what Christmas should be about - but it is also about the food for me that we do share together, as I love food and preparing food, but accept that others have different views on how it should be done. Accept - not like! Here goes...

I hate the way they dont get a standard normal turkey with legs and wings, but buy 2 turkey crowns, overcook them, having ripped the skin off when they are still raw, discarding it when they know I like it, and serve up mountains of shreds of overcooked sawdusty breast and nothing else simply because they prefer breast.

I hate the way they cook the brussels sprouts the night before (for at least half an hour - in fact, I think they might have put them on already!) and then reheat them in the microwave 5 minutes before the meal is served. They are a deep khaki green colour and smell like hangover farts.

I hate the way the gravy is watery and tastes more like marmite than anything else - due, mainly, to its high marmite content

I hate the way all the other vegetables are burnt to a crisp and then placed on a heated trolley thing 2 hours before the meal is served to stay warm, and I hate the way they turn to cardboard.

I hate the way the smoke alarm goes off every single time, about 30 minutes before they serve up. Get an oven timer. The smoke alarm is supposed to alert you to dangerously high levels of smoke. That's that grey stuff that is billowing out of the oven and making all our eyes stream, by the way.

I hate the way the only drink they put out is Asti Spumante even though we bring champagne and decent Sav Blanc etc which they hide away then hand back to us when we leave because they "dont drink". They dont - but if they dont drink, why not just let us drink what we want to drink? We do ask them for the stuff we bought but then they turn around and say "but we've already opened the Asti!". These days we try and time it so DH takes charge of the "drinks situation" quite a while before dinner is served (hell, by midday I'm gagging for something, ANYTHING) before anything else gets opened and he holds it back now and puts it outside so its cold, but we had to politey refuse the Asti completely one year so it got tipped down the sink to get to that stage as they are pretty stubborn...

I hate the way they hold back the pudding and make us eat biscuits instead after the lunch bit, because "everyone is too full for pudding", when in fact we are not too full for pudding, because we did not overeat, and see no real benefit in consuming the same amount of bulk and calories in biscuits only to eat pudding later when we are, in fact, not hungry.

I hate the way it is assumed that custard does not go lumpy if you dont stir it just because you have cooked it in a bain-marie. It does. You have to stir it to just under the boil whatever you cook it in. And is there anything wrong with a bit of brandy butter? Just because you dont like it? Why not put out the little pot of it we brought with us? It wont kill you from the other end of the table. Hell, let us get it, rather than fobbing us off with "cant' find it in the fridge" (its in the DOOOOOORRRRRR!)

Okay, that's it for me, unless I think of anything eles. I know its mean, but better out than in - I dont want to rant to my own mother or DH about it, because its mean and bitchy, but they are not on t'internet, and it feels good, gets it out of my system and I can turn up and be charming on the day. That's not such a bad thing, is it?

What would you change about the way your parents or parents in law prepare and serve Christmas Dinner?

The ILs Christmases are a headlong rush to nothing. When we came downstairs at 9.30am (us all sleeping in one room, one bathroom between 7) they had already opened their presents without us, hovered impatiently whilst we opened ours and Christmas lunch was a 12. All this haste to slump in front of the TV, why? Lunch was a Sunday roast with crackers. They have no traditions or sense of ceremony.

Fortunately, FIL has not been speaking to dh for a month, although dh has only just realised, and am encouraging him not to notice until mid December when FIL will be fit to bust that his sulk has gone unnoticed.

I hate having to go for a big christmas meal at my mother in laws on christmas eve evening,but my husband thinks this is the price we have to pay for getting christmas day to ourselves.

pre-utterly butterlyed cream crackers

ROFL

pmsl at pre-utterly butterlyed cream crackers
and jam for meat mam :o

I try to avoid going to my Dads for xmas dinner at all costs. Him and his partner never cook enough to go round and a couple of years ago they served up cup o soups for starter complete with aunt Bessies home roasts with the main course!

I should join in but I've blanked the details of the food out of my mind. All I can say is that I've been once, 15 years ago and will never spend Christmas with my MIL again. I insist that it is a day where petty issues get forgotten and fun rules and she would not fit into that scenario.

Any other day of the year is fine but we don't do Christmas with MIL. DH is delighted

Why adults allow themselves to be put through this shit is beyond me.

'Fortunately, FIL has not been speaking to dh for a month, although dh has only just realised'

Sorry, I know quoting is considered crappy but that is so funny it deserves to appear twice! Dinah, I love the sound of your husband!

Dinah please make a thread to tell us what happens when he does realise!

Gosh I am beginning to think that IABU for being quite happy to have Xmas at the ILs!

As I will be 7 months pg and have cooked Xmas dinner the last 5 years in a row, I think I deserve a year off.

It may not be to my taste (as I cook the world's best roast dinners of course) but I dont mind as long as I get to sit in a chair and eat Quality Street instead of cooking!

OP YANBU

My ILs are good cooks however they insist on washing up EVERYTHING between courses, always have a massive row in the kitchen as they have been up since stupid o'clock fighting over who gets the glory for roasting a swan-sized turkey, and insist on telling us how much money they have spent on all the food items (despite us offering to bring a course, always bringing loads of fizz and chocs, and despite the fact they are completely loaded). We don't go on Christmas day any more. I can stand it all (with enough alcohol) if it is Boxing Day and I've had a lovely relaxed day at home beforehand. This may BU bit I do not care

Gay 40 because Xmas is more than just the food , it's about grandparents, chikdren , presents, even going to church together!! Not just about only getting one roast potato

Goo dto see evryone getting years of christmas related grimness off their chests

I am the go to chef for xmas dinner most years - because my mum doesn't do christmas (she stays at home and doesn't makes plans to see anyone) and my Mil doesn't enjoy cooking so it makes more sense for me to cater we also have 3 young children and so it makes more sense for pil to make the 20 min journey to us. They are also free to flee when they want to then. Mil has MS so she can get very tired by the early evening.

So they may complain about how I cater but aside from the fact that as me and dh are Veggie (so is MiL so I feel sorry for FiL), our trad xmas dinner is Roast pots and veg with a delish Mushroom wellington - I require no help in the kitchen I am a good cook (or my family is very very polite ) so I do not think I will be moaned about 'cept that I hate to leave my home for xmas.

So I can see in 25 years time there will be a thread from a long suffering son or dil detailing how they have to come to us and I only cook veggie and I am an old bat etc. hey ho!

Well my mil likes to cook the turkey the day before Xmas day then it lives in the shed from where she goes to carve off bits at regular intervals. By Xmas day having lived with the cooking turkey smell already for 24 hours I'm kind of done with the turkey thing.

However mil likes to start serving the turkey for breakfast on Xmas day. One famous Xmas day(my last there) we had cold garlic bread rolls(with garlic butter still in block form inside)filled with said turkey. We then have turkey for lunch,turkey for tea,turkey for boxing day breakfast,lunch and tea until the beast in the shed has gone.

Normally I'm either petrified of food poisoning or so turkeyed out I actually start dreaming about it.

Oh and the wine sits tantalizing on the sideboard for the entire meal until dessert when fil finally opens it.

I think what Christmas is about varies between people.
Christmas dinner is an imprtant part of Christmas for me. If one of my relatives couldn't cook I wouldn't go there for dinner but would invite them here.
I suspect families that like each other can cope with badly cooked food, and could communicate well enough to get things done a bit the way they like.
I suspect those with marzipan Jesus nicking inlaws don't enjoy their company much anyway and Christmas just magnifies that.

I do think with young children parents should be creating their own family traditions in their own home if they want. Adults have to grow up some time and standing up to your parents and expecting them to treat you like adults and cook more potatoes if you like more is part of this.

Like JinnyS I went once 10 years ago and vowed never again.

"Oh and the wine sits tantalizing on the sideboard for the entire meal until dessert when fil finally opens it."

Tantalising until you taste it. Then you wish you'd brought a hip flash.

hip flask

My MIL cooks everything very early in the morning (when electricity is on the cheap tariff, I mean EARLY!) and then reheats it in the microwave. Vile!

Hip flask-now there's a thought.

This thread is the funniest I've read in a while,on a par with the Pedlars ones,the new pfb and parents visit(have searched in vain for this to show dsis)and the staying back at the parents one.

Many thanks has totally calmed my guilt pangs over not doing Xmas at the in laws.

I think you should thank your lucky stars, last year we shared a 'Boxing Day Feast' (their words) with my in laws and we were given the leftovers from the day before. COLD leftovers from the day before, including the gravy. Oh what fun it was.

Loving this thread!

We have gone to my parents for the last few years. MIL is DH's step mum and although I love her dearly I know XMas would not be the same there. We would prob be taken to the local Brewer's Fayre! We often go to her for New Year though. Food is nice but not really to our taste and she also over cooks the veg. She now accepts that we do the booze as I don't like the wine she likes. I buy nice fizz instead of the cheap stuff she has had in the past.

Xmas at my parents is usually a joint effort with my Dad, myself and DH getting as much prepared the day before as possible and then Dad and DH in charge in the kitchen on the day.

This year is our last year in Hungary so we warned everyone last Xmas of that fact and said that anyone who wanted to join us was more than welcome. For various reasons they can't so it is just us three. DS is SO excited. He is now 9 and although he says he will miss his cousins he is really looking forward to Xmas at home. We will have some of the traditions we would have at my parents - lasagna for dinner on Xmas Eve - but the rest will be all us. Have a small oven so we will order the turkey from the Four Seasons Hotel and it will be delivered when we want it!

omg ! im laughing so much at this thread , my ribs hurt.

I too hate xmas with the in-laws.

They are perfectly lovely people , treat me like the daughter they always wanted (seriously i can do no wrong in their eyes ). The children i have from my first marriage are counted as their grandchildren(spoiled rotten).

Mil is actually a very good cook , and pil is very a generous barman (yay! ).

But its the same meal that is served ,regardless of occasion.
(could be easter , aniversary, birthday meal or a "just pop up for your tea on thursday"

Veg soup for starters.
Steak pie , boiled potatoes, veg , for main course.
Chocolate cake or pineapple triffle for pudding.

Portions are usualy on the small side too

ALWAYS .

Never a roast bird or christmas pud in sight .

The only nod to xmas is that there is crackers on the table and its the rules that we must wear the stupid paper hats. And a tiny plug in tree that stands lonely in the corner. .

Kids get bored , they want to play with their toys goddamit !!!!.

If i have to go this year , im taking a hamper of nibbles.
Then after dinner , when the kids get starving hungry they can stuff their little faces eat something then .
They usually have to wait until we get home abou 11 pm.

If they say they are hungry its met with " you cant possibly be hungry you ate a huge dinner." ( 4" square of steak pie with 3 potatoes isnt huge by anyones standard , & defo not by a 5" 2` ten year olds)

MIL IF YOUR READING THIS ....5 OF THE CHILDREN ARE BIG HUNGRY TEENAGE MONSTERS , NOT ADORABLE LITTLE TOTS .THEY HAVE HOLLOW LEGS !!!!!.