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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bloody well send them to a hotel?

350 replies

Tinalovestuna · 15/10/2010 21:42

In laws arrived 1/2 hour ago for planned weeks stay. Unbeknown to me or dh, fil has norovirus. He said he has been vomiting and has diarrhoea since 3am.

We have a 7 week old baby who has a cold.

I am so fucking livid at how stupid they are. Me and dh have just had a massive row in the bedroom because I think they should go and stay in a hotel, I don't want my baby infected.

Dh said I am being totally unfair as they have driven down to see the baby.

I said I would pay for a hotel.

Angry
OP posts:
xwitch · 16/10/2010 10:39

I am disgusted with both your IL and your DH. Unfortunately not surprised, just the sort of thing my XH's family would do. Hope you are both ok, sorry but I can have no sympathy with your mil or xh.

SarahStratton · 16/10/2010 10:43

What on earth was she expecting?

Did she really think the mother of a seven week old baby was going to welcome them with open arms then help her nurse FIL whilst running around looking after her newborn and everything else that goes with guests staying at their house. Appreciate there's a DH also, but tbh he sounds as spineless as a jellyfish and equally in need of a well aimed axe in the head kicking.

Tuna, I hope you and baby are well and being thoroughly spoilt by your DB and DM :)

SpookyNoise · 16/10/2010 10:45

I am shocked they would travel to visit when they are ill. And if I were the OP, I would be so angry with DH.
But, is it likely that Tinalovestuna would already have caught the bugs from them before she got the chance to leave the house? Someone mentioned everything in the bathroom being infected.
I bloody hope both her and the baby are ok.
I'm so angry. It's exactly the kind of thing my inlaws would do. And DH would be useless at confronting them.

LoopyLoupGarou · 16/10/2010 10:54

I hope you're comfy with your family OP. Don't go back until they are totally better and the house has been professionally cleaned.

You did the right thing. :)

Bunnyjo · 16/10/2010 10:57

Tinalovestuna I hope you and your little one are fine this morning. FWIW I do think that your MIL is being dramatic and proclaiming it to be norovirus, without actual confirmation... Unless in the time since 3am yesterday they have sent a stool sample off to the local path lab, had it analysed and confirmed as norovirus and then driven to your house - it just deosn't seem likely to me. DD had rotavirus A gastroenteritis when she was 18mth old and was hospitalised for 2 days. It took 36hrs for the result of rotavirus A to come back - and she was being treated as an emergency case.

Hopefully your FIL just has a dose of 'the runs', but, even if that is the case, they have been incredibly foolish to visit such a young child when they are unwell. I am Shock and Angry they didn't leave when requested to do so. How bloody dare they?!

MisSalLaneous · 16/10/2010 11:00

Have been following this since last night - OP, I hope you're ok and being cared for by your parents.

You sound kind and non-confrontational, so please try and be strong when your husband says he wants to come and visit if it isn't clear that he definitely didn't catch it - remember to give it a couple of days after the disinfection at least. It would be horrible if you went to all this trouble to protect your baby and still catch it anyway.

altinkum · 16/10/2010 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowinthesky · 16/10/2010 11:02

That's awful, op. Inexusable to visit someone with a 7 week old baby when you have diarrohoea. That would taint my future relationship with these people.

TrillianSlasher · 16/10/2010 11:09

It's all been said already but I hope you are now tucked up in a nice clean bed and haen't caught whatever it is (norovirus or whatever, still shouldn't bring it to see a baby).

booooooooooyhoo · 16/10/2010 11:12

ah, i never thought of that altinkum.

noblegiraffe · 16/10/2010 11:13

I had a 24 hour D&V bug recently, on a Saturday. My DH came down with the same bug on the Wednesday night, so it took a while for him to develop symptoms. Don't rush back!

3thumbedwitch · 16/10/2010 11:14

doesn't matter - OP should wait a couple more days after professional clean before coming home to allow any toxic fumes to dissipate.

Original poster
Tinalovestuna · 16/10/2010 11:18

Morning all. Would have replied sooner but been busy with baby.

Stayed at my brothers last night and off to mums in a little while.

Phoned dh this morning. Mil started vomiting at 2.30 am and dh says he feels queasy! He apologized to me and said he should have sided with me. A bit late now methinks!

Me and baby are fine thank goodness.

My in laws are lovely but seriously lacking in common sense. When my sil was 8 months pregnant when we had all the snow, fil didn't grit his driveway, she fell and had to spend the night in hospital.

It just doesn't occur to them obviously.

OP posts:
SpookyNoise · 16/10/2010 11:21

Serves your dh right!
I'm glad you're ok. Don't go home for few days though.

Panzee · 16/10/2010 11:22

Yuk, what a punishment! :o Hope you escape it.

3thumbedwitch · 16/10/2010 11:22

Tina, am pleaed to hear it - all of it. Grin

(except the bit about your SIL of course Shock)

Bumperlicious · 16/10/2010 11:23

Hope you are ok op. If it is any consolation dd1 & dh got d&v when dd2 was a week old & we managed to avoid it.

LoopyLoupGarou · 16/10/2010 11:25

Well done for getting out of there.

I hope DH grovels when you return (only once it's sanitised, obviously).

QueeheeeheeeheenOfShadows · 16/10/2010 11:25

I am not really that reassured by professional cleaners either. The last one I saw used the same cloth for viping the kitchen worktops, after she had cleaned the loo with it.... Hmm

Bumperlicious · 16/10/2010 11:25

Why the hell would you want to go away when you are ill?

MisSalLaneous · 16/10/2010 11:26

Tina, am very relieved to hear you're ok. I appreciate that some of the comments and name calling on here might be a bit much, but I really think you should show your dh this thread (text him link), as I still don't think they (including your dh) appreciate the seriousness of it and how essential it would be to disinfect absolutely everything. It would be pointless for you to go back eventually just to catch it at home.

CwtchyBlueMama · 16/10/2010 11:27

Glad you are both ok Tuna.

Glad that your dh & his parents are feeling ill,serves them right.

Take care of yourself x

MumInBeds · 16/10/2010 11:28

Glad you and your baby are fine. I hope that continues and that the bugs at home are soon gone.

LIZS · 16/10/2010 11:29

Selfish twats . Hope you can get some r and r while they suffer miserably. Make sure MIL cleans thoroughly before they leave and you return too. Personally think I'd keep away all week. Do they live far ?

QueeheeeheeeheenOfShadows · 16/10/2010 11:30

Tina I am glad you are ok. By the sounds of it, you will be gone a while, at least until the last to get ill has recovered and they have cleaned the house.

Please insist that your MIL help your dh clean up. Or do you think it likely they will recuperate at your house and leave your dh to do all the cleaning?

(Would not surprise me)