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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bloody well send them to a hotel?

350 replies

Tinalovestuna · 15/10/2010 21:42

In laws arrived 1/2 hour ago for planned weeks stay. Unbeknown to me or dh, fil has norovirus. He said he has been vomiting and has diarrhoea since 3am.

We have a 7 week old baby who has a cold.

I am so fucking livid at how stupid they are. Me and dh have just had a massive row in the bedroom because I think they should go and stay in a hotel, I don't want my baby infected.

Dh said I am being totally unfair as they have driven down to see the baby.

I said I would pay for a hotel.

Angry
OP posts:
mummycreepynora · 15/10/2010 22:44

jared if you lost that much in a week send it my way! But I might need to book a week away as don't think its fair on the kids to help my diet Wink

seriously though... norovirus is really infections and awful - a 7 week old baby is at serious risk of hospitalisation from the kind of dehydration that could cause at a guess!

I hope you or your DH is having a fecking good rant at your in laws right now!!! Angry

expatinscotland · 15/10/2010 22:44

No, I don't have an iota of sympathy for them and tbh they're not worth the OP's headspace, either.

Whatever they thought was inconsiderate, mean-spirited, selfish and horrible.

No matter what is behind it.

D&V. D&V from 3AM. Hmm, shall we head over and see 7-week-old? Or anyone, for that matter?

How much of a no brainer is that? FFS.

What a couple fo complete twats.

PotPourri · 15/10/2010 22:46

I also have memories of juggling newborn, several sick/running kids and DH, scrubbing sick off the carpets while breastfeeding, going through zillions of nappies - like one every 10 minutes for both children in nappies, and running to the toilet every 15 minutes or so passing the baby around like a rugby ball as we took turns at the loo, forcing myself to eat mars bars so that I could lift my head off the pillow. This happened to me TWICE with newborns. It was miserable. I didn't even allow any family to help as they would have got it too - and I really really needed help - I wasn't just fancying seeing my new granddaughter FFS!

You have totally done the right thing by getting out. DO NOT USE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH if it was in the bathroom. Just borrow your brothers/mums, or they may have a spare. And just manage without the baby bath stuff. Use the kitchen sink and washing up liquid if you must use bubbles.

Selfish selfish beyond belief.

MissMarjoriBanshee · 15/10/2010 22:46

Jeez. A fucking bucket! Shock Make sure a towel goes under it and wash said towel at 90 degrees. In fact, throw it away.

I had norovirus when DS was about 4mo and it knocked me sideways. He didn't get it thankfully, probably because he was breastfed, but DH did. My mum, who was staying at the time, did a fantastic job of bleaching the bathroom and also managed to somehow avoid it.

My BIL works in a hospital and has got it a couple of times (he didn't transmit it to us though) and he always a) stays well away, b) warns us he's got it so we don't call on him. He's utterly self absorbed as well, so if he can be sensible about this, anyone can.

Jadey1 · 15/10/2010 22:51

OMG Angry & Sad you should be enjoying your DC not having to worry about getting D & V. I hope you are both OK.

Tomorrow I would have a serious word with dh and pil, via the phone. Hopefully you'll be OK but they need to know this is so unreasonable.

FrightNightScreamTight · 15/10/2010 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConvexBetty · 15/10/2010 23:02

Just sitting here and shaking my head in disbelief.
Shock

booooooooooyhoo · 15/10/2010 23:06

bigchris i am sorry but as much as MIL mightn't have wanted to shift her husband out of tehhouse now that they were ther her actions mean a 7 week old baby and it's mother are now out of their own home at 10 oclock at night and not onlyhave they been exposed to this but teh PIL's refusal to leave mean that their house is now being subjected to prolonged exposure meaning that even when the baby returns home sit is still at risk of becoming sick.

sorry PIL should have left immediately when asked and gone home.

LaraJade · 15/10/2010 23:07

As a nurse i know :( just how infectious norovirus is. The incubation period is 48 HOURS. If your PIL /DH touch their mouth (eg) then any surface, then that surface becomes an infection source. Only a full deep clean of the house with bleach will do. (There's a job for DH). Buy new bed linen + towels (PIL can pay). They should avoid immodium (bug needs to get out of the system). Must rehydrate - flat cola is good. Plain non-acidic food - biscuits, white toast. They remain infectious 48 hours after last symptom (trust me). OP i hope things work out for you + you dont get ill.

SixtyFootGhooool · 15/10/2010 23:10

AM just Shock at your ILs.
Pure bloody selfishness,

Mermaidspam · 15/10/2010 23:15

I am absolutely fucking baffled.

How selfish and idiotic Angry

IMoveTheStars · 15/10/2010 23:16

mummycreepynora "if you lost that much in a week send it my way!"

The most infectious thing I've ever come across. We could literally track the infection as it hit each person along it's route. I still don't know where DS got it from, but as a result 10 people were seriously ill for the best part of a week (thankfully it stopped there and didn't spread, as far as we know)

It was honestly the most awful experience of my life. Thankfully after the first day I wasn't too sick, but I had to go to the loo every 8-10 minutes while looking after the vomit and shit machine that was my poorly 9mo boy :(

every 8-10 minutes. in 10 hours that is (at best) 60 horrible visits to the loo. Each time having to leave a screaming crying wailing baby who was D&Ving all over the place. Shock

(I know you were kidding.. I'm just wondering how many people on this thread have actually HAD norovirus. Normal D&V just doesn't come close).

God.. I'd blanked out forgotten the horror..

apols OP.

Firawla · 15/10/2010 23:17

omg yanbu are they stupid?? why did they not think themselves to cancel or postpone the visit?!

expatinscotland · 15/10/2010 23:17

I've had amoebic dysentery it sounds a lot like this. Horrid, truly horrid.

LilMsUnfortunateAxeIncident · 15/10/2010 23:18

another Shock from me.

Hope you are OK Tuna!

Anyone that would see a young mum with a 7wk go out into the night is utterly heartless.

Please follow the advice on the thread and once the house is tip top then you can go back. not before.

Poor you tuna! fingers crossed for you and the baby!

IMoveTheStars · 15/10/2010 23:20

expat - the only person I've known to have amoebic dysentery said it was like elephants squeezing their tummy (via blog) Some people say it's as bad as childbirth. Shock

thederkinsdame · 15/10/2010 23:20

Completely unacceptable OP. Hope you have headed away up motorway to your Mum's. Also hope your LO doesn't get it. DH and I had norovirus several years ago. For the first couple of days I couldn't even stand up. It is hideous and the last thing a very young baby needs to be in contact with, let alone anyone else. Even if it is just a tummy bug, your FIL is an imbecile for travelling and your DH is a muppet fo rletting them stay.

AllGoodNamesGone · 15/10/2010 23:22

I am feeling quite sick just reading this thread. Stay well away OP. No way in hell would I be cleaning that bathroom.

Has he had a long journey? How many toilets has he used along the way and how many people put at risk?

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Please don't use any of the baby stuff that was in that bathroom until you have soaked it in bleach.

Your DH is going to have a fun week nursing them isn't he?! Don't let him join you at your mums when he realises this. He's been exposed for too long now and you need to know he hasn't got it before he comes anywhere near you and the baby.

You poor thing. I hope you manage not to go down with it and have a nice relaxed week at your mums while your DH runs around with buckets and bleach!

Mum72 · 15/10/2010 23:22

OMG - I thought my ILs were selfish but I think yours may well win the award for most self absosrbed idiots.

I am hoping you and baby are out of there by now.

You cannot go back until at least 48 hours after they have either gone home or had their last symptom.

Your DH will need to thoroughly air the house, chuck bedding, towels, wash seat covers off sofa and genereally bleach and disinfect EVERY nook and cranny of your home.
Every lightswitch (bathroom pull cords), door handle and surface. All crockery and cutlery will need to be deepl cleaned as well.

Unfortunately even if you avoid the bug I doubt very much your DH will now, so be prepared to stay away for a while.

Please dont use anything out of your bathroom, just replace it.

Good luck and please please do not take any shit off your self centerd in laws or your DH for protecting your baby. They are idiotic and selfish fools. Do you think MIL refused to accept FIl was ill and decided to come to visit anyway in the hope he would improve before he got to yours? I know my MIL goes a bit doolally when she has a bee in her bonnet like seeing the grandchildren.

Please let us know how you are.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 15/10/2010 23:24

If, as someone suggested further up the thread, FIL were to have an episode of diarrhoea on MIL in bed tonight, that would mean a new mattress as well as new bedding and towels.

I just hope that tuna's dh realises how bloody unreasonable his parents have been, and how bloody unreasonable he was to have had a row with her about it, rather than backing her up and considering the health of his family. I also hope he accepts the neccessity for all the cleaning that he is going to have to do, and does it properly, so that tuna and the baby can safely return to the house. Plus he needs to man up, grow a pair, and tell his parents that they must never NEVER do something so thoughtless and selfish ever again.

I'd be more than happy to tell him what I think of him, right now - and it is not complimentary, I can tell you.

FrightNightScreamTight · 15/10/2010 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ragged · 15/10/2010 23:29

I am with Pooka, I think OP just proclaimed it "Norovirus" although it could be anything. I wouldn't have a giant family row about it, either, because my own kids have had too many D&V bugs including when there was a tiny baby in the house, I am inured to it somewhat (and if you are scrupulous about hygiene they don't usually spread).

That said, I'm don't blame OP for being scared and angry and deciding to vacate :(; the relatives should have known FAR better and gone to hotel when she asked, too.

expatinscotland · 15/10/2010 23:30

The cramps that go with it, Jareth, were dire.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 15/10/2010 23:32

Just wanted to add my Shock and Angry on your behalf with regard to their appalling irresponsible behaviour!

My parents wont' let us come near them if they have so much as a bad cold and ds is 4 now! so how anyone can risk spreading DV to a NEWBORN is truly astounding. are they so ignorant to not understand the risks?

I would seriously print off this thread and post it to dh, highlighting in bright yellow the advice from the nurse and others about no contact, bleach, deepcleans - and marriage damage!

mummycreepynora · 15/10/2010 23:32

Jareth I was only kidding, but completely understand the need to explain how bad it is :) I haven't had it but know someone very well who did and he was really ill for a week or so and then still weak for a long time after - really knocked him...

was only kidding because I could REALLY do with that kind of weight loss right now! Wink

OP I hope you are far far away from the irresponsible in laws by now and your DH (and them) have realised how stupid and insentitive they are!