to be annoyed that DH has demolished kitchen wall without consulting me?

[KC11]

I came home from work to find the kitchen wall was no more. DH has been working on the wall above (bathroom wall) but seems to have decided that the kitchen wall (on ground floor of house) had to come out now rather than in two years or so (when we might have the money to have a single storey extension on the back of our house). He didn't phone or text me he just let me come home from work to find he's already demolished the wall! WTF? I had no opportunity to unpack the kitchen units that used to be attached to said wall. All of lounge furniture, leather sofas, the lampshades and even the papers and magazines on the table were all still in situ (under the thick layer of dust). I refuse to speak to him. I refuse to clear up the mess and i refuse to try to prepare any food or drinks in the house.

Any advice?

Stupid stupid man.

GOML - i'm a Conveyancer so my job involves dealing with legal documents in connection with the sale and purchases and remortgages of houses and flats in the UK. everyday i check papers and document and surveys and then ask the clients/solicitors for the documentary evidence that structual alterations have been done with Local Authority Planning Consent and or Building Regulations approval. This situation at my own home goes against the grain. I have to ensure that lenders and building societies' security/mortgage/loan against property is secure and that the property meets all the structural requirements.

Any way, going to go out and buy some lunch.

Based on all the other cock ups work in your previous place I'd suspect that between your DH and your dad its not a good combination and the work won't get done properly.

If you get a builder in they can tell you what needs doing even if you don't get them to do it so you'll be better informed.

I just have this image of the OP with her fingers in her ears going la la la la not listening wrt the bloody HOUSE FALLING DOWN.

Have got a tel number for the Building Control dept of Council. Will call them and ask what i have to do to get an Inspector round to check the work. Do I have to make a formal application with architect's plans for removal of interior walls? (I did shout at DH that he cannot cover up the RSJ until a B C inspector has seen the exposed RSJ).

My dad has worked in the building trade as self employed builder for a long time, Dad knows quite a lot about building but DH not always willing to ask for guidance sadly.

The way my luck is going at the moment, it is probably next door tot he one I am trying to buy. If it is in Warrington, I'm out.

Is it just me or does the OP seem very..umm..how go I put it? Sanguine? about the situation.

OP.Forget lunch, forget what your dh would or wouldn't allow. Get a professional in now!

You're right thebrown. Since she hasn't answered I'll assume it is in Warrington and instruct our solicitor to stop with the purchase. Not that it is going anywhere ATM and

The inspector should see any work meets building regs - so deffo can't cover up any stuff. Talk to Building Control asap - they can put you in the picture very quickly.

Send your DH this thread, and tell him that many, many MNers think he's a complete moron for doing this.

God, I'd be furious if DP did this, primarily because of the mess though!

I would be ringing a builder, leaving work and personally going home to kickDPinthecock let the builders in.

I'm really sorry but he sounds like a total pain in the arse - he'd refuse to let them in?

Ring him and tell him that you are sending the professionals in NOW TODAY (wake up woman, it's Friday pm) and you will not be returning to the house until it's been propped up FFS.

You seem abnormally chilled.

What is all this mess talk? Presumably there were people scouring their doorsteps as the great fire of london swept down their street as well.

Houses do not just stay up by magic.

It is gravity, your house is doing that thing in cartoons when they run off the edge of a cliff, there's a moment when they realise that nothing's holding them up...then Whoomph.

The years I've spent complaining that my dp never does any DIY around the house have suddenly magically taken on a completely different perspective!

Hope you get it sorted soon

Erm any news? I've got to say if I were your neighbour your DH would have a great big fuck off letter from my solicitors pdq seeing as there's at least one party wall involved in your house.

Which is probably going to fall down over the weekend, thanks to your absolute arse of a DH and pseudo-builder Dad.

Have spoken to Building Control. They said that as the chimney stack has been taken away completely and the chimney breast (on first floor) has been taken away, they would not need to issue any Building Regs. I will call back on Monday to speak to one of the Building Control Officers as I am certain an RSJ will have to go in the ceiling of the kitchen to support the first floor. It is gravity as someone very snesible has already said.

Thank you all for your advice.

DH needs to listen to me and take some notice. I might threaten to leave him. then he'd have to put up with all the aggro/work/mess on his own.

It can't be that difficult for a builder to come round and sort this out. I will phone my friend whose brother is in the building trade and get him to come round tonight or tomorrow am. I will pay him whatever he asks to be paid.

You can't get someone official, from the council, to come around and tear a strip off your DH? Telling him what a stupid/dangerous/ridiculous thing this is to do? Perhaps, PERHAPS someone in an official capacity might get through.

Kreecher - rest assured the property isn't in Warrington. I promise. It's in the South East of England. You're safe. Give your Solicitors a boot up the bum. Tell them they need to press forward and ask them to let you know exactly what the hold up is. Hope you'll be very happy in your new pad. Are you selling as well?

Why does my DH always tell me to calm down and chill out? He's so laid back he's almost horizontal. Is that a man thing? Men out there, do you think i'm overreacting?

• no, KC11, us chaps think you are being very sensible about the whole thing. Except, possibly, for the agreeing to stay in a house with no supporting walls for the weekend. We chaps find this foolish.

Iv'e found OP's local news channel, just so I can make sure there's no reports of houses falling down over night.

This happened near me a couple of weeks ago. Internal walls had been removed and then they started digging the basement out.
'Tis not a calm down matter.

Please tell me you are not going to stay there for the weekend?

Has your Dad looked at it? What did he say?

Did you tell Building Control exactly what had been done?