to keep longing to home educate my DC's

[ValentinCrimble]

I find school tough...there's always something I am unhappy with or suspicious of...I KNOW the kids are fine...it's a good school...I know that they will get through it all and have an education/friends and all that...but I keep thinking that they would have all that anyway and without my having to support the 6 year old with reams of homework every night and crap reading scheme books.

Is it still thought of as odd or weird to home ed? I sense a bit of a change in people's opinions recently...DC is in a private prep...money is not an issue as we are lucky enough to have a bursary...don't know how I would deal with state as our local one is notoriously bad (I am talking rife with bullies and under special measures) and the others are rammed to the gills with locals on waiting lists.

I'm not unhappy with the school as such but feel that its an awful lot to trust strangers with my DC's education...come on...give me your best for and againsts of home ed?

I also keep thinking how I could cater to DC's strengths and interests more...

Hi VC. We've just started homeEding DS1 and I can't believe how supportive people are! No one has thought us strange yet and so many people are genuinely interested in what we are doing and how to go about it. A few mums I've spoken to are actually now looking into it themselves.

Ok...how old are your DC's Bubbleymummy? And if you don't mind my asking what were your own reasons?

I don't think its considered that odd or weird these days. TBH if I've done it (and I have) it has to be relatively mainstream

OTOH I think you need to look at whether you want to do it because you think your children would thrive under it, or because you have issues with trusting a school, or anyone else, to look after and educate your children.

Better to do it for the right reasons IYSWM?

I'd also say that changing, now DC have started school is a very different thing from HEing from the start - I wouldn't disrupt them from something they enjoy without stronger reasons than I'd want to do it before they had tried (and enjoyed) the alternative.

Hi, We home ed DS1, started in June and within days we knew we had made the right choice.

I work in schools (after school clubs) everyone we speak to is positive, school staff, other parents, LEA rep, even little old ladies have been interested and generally supportive.

I still take ds2 into the school and lots of parents have asked about home ed, seems to more accepted these days. Lots of people have said they wish they could do it.

I home ed my almost 6 year old. He's never been to school. I started because I thought 4/5 was just too young to start school. We really enjoy it, and now I've read some books on how children learn I think we'll be keeping to HE for at least a few more years.

valentincrimble, i feel the same! i keep umming and ahhhing over it
i feel like i don#t have a good enough reason to take ds1 out. if he was unhappy he'd be out in a flash, but he is ok there, not enthusiastic about it, but not unhappy.

i worry about a whole load of stuff regarding HE, but deep down i really want to do it.

so will be following this thread with interest!

With me it's partly to do with the fact that DC always seems so tired and grumpy...it seems too much too young...learning should be morefun and DC is at a very academic school and last week got a stiff neck! It was I am sure due to sitting for long periods.

DC has at times asked me if I can teach him instead of him going to school but he does enjoy his friends and playtime at school.

We're going to spend a little time abroad soon with DH who is working there..I'm taking the opportunity to try home ed out.

If I feel he would do better back in school when we return then fine...if not..well...I might have to give it a go!

I do too! We had a bit of a kerfuffle getting out oldest into school when we moved in the summer so for a few weeks she had no school and we got into a lovely routine of reading and doing work books together', Now she's at school and my son is at nursery it's only the two babies at home and i do miss it.

I just don't think I have the organisation to teach them full time though plus i would worry about friends.

It's the friend thing tht bothers me too...although I can rationalise that away by looking at tthe fact that the only way I know is the way I made friends...which was through school....if my DC made other friends through Home ed groups and Beavers etc that would do me...also there are cousins...I suspect that a couple of the friends DC has now would still be available for playdates even if we never went to school.

@fernie3: You don't need any specific sort of organisation - you don't have to set out to "teach" them full time. With LOs, you do life and they learn through it. You also do not need to worry about friends. Many electively home-educated (EHE) children attend clubs (drama, music, sport, youth org, etc.). There are also local groups around the country where EHEers get together for social purposes (and sometimes to pursue joint projects).

My DC (now 16 and 18) have been EHE throughout. DD has just started uni and is thoroughly enjoying all the social stuff. We did very few workbooks but we read a lot and did practical things (cooking, music, craft, etc.).

I don't understand, AMIS, why not trusting a school with your DCs is the wrong reason for HEing.

Valentin - I HE my children aged between 2 and 7. I have very, very many reasons, but one of them is just that I love their company and don't really want to let someone else have the benefit of it for most of their childhood! Also, I don't really trust a school to 'parent' (as in they're in loco parentis) the way I want them to be parented. That's not to say that they don't ever spend any time with other adults without me, just that they (and I, obviously, but most importantly, the children) have control over who, when and for how long that happens.

My children have loads and loads of friends; loads and loads of fun; loads and loads of opportunity to try and do and learn different things. HE is exciting, mind-opening, freeing - just fab.

But...downsides - it's bloody exhausting; relentless; and a very heavy responsibility. The responsibility thing is daft because ultimately your children's education is your responsibility anyway, but if you choose school, you ask them to do it for you...if they cock up, it's still ultimately your fault, but we're not conditioned to see it that way, so it feels more of a pressure when we retain all the responsibility ourselves. I do have to make sure I have time for myself so I can do a good job of being a mum, but I don't need 6 hours, 5 days every week - just an hour or two here and there and a day every few weeks.

Fernie - we have very little in the way of organisation. You need to read all you can about autnomous learning and all you can written by autonomous home educators.

Yes Brick...I see it as a heavy responsibility anyway...I send my DC off to an institution and have to trust them to do right by him...if he gets screwed up by the system then it is my fault. At least with me he would be in a place where his interests are paramount.

Sdeuchars

Did you find Uni entry ok?

I'm an ex teacher would have loved to home ed but don't because I know I'd be doing it for me and it wouldn't be in my children's best interest.

As a primary teacher I used to do hours of preparation,every night and most of Sunday.I would need to do the same to do the best job possible for my children and I simply can't. I simply don't believe that continual flying by the seat of your pants provides a good education. Consistent good lessons takes a lot of work and time which I can't give.

Resources are also an issue,libraries just can't even begin to compete with a well stocked school and I don't have the money to either.

Then there is spending time with other adults and children.I think kids need this.I don't want my kids leaving home having spent most of their time with me and their siblings.I want them to continuously branch out further and further afield each year as they get older.

I'm also not convinced we wouldn't clash when aspects of their education were tricky or more mundane-at some point spellings have to be learnt. It aint going to be fun every single minute of every single day. My son protests enough at times when he has to put his shoes on.

Also socially I believe learning alongside a mixing pot of other children is the best introduction into real life and dealing with relationships.

"I simply don't believe that continual flying by the seat of your pants provides a good education"

I used not to believe it, but then I met lots, and lots, and lots of HEors who took an autonomous approach, whose children knew loads, were enthusiastic, happy learners. And now I am seeing my own children do the same thing. There was some research published a couple of years ago about how efficient informal learning is.

Our local library service allows HEors full access to their library services for education scheme, for free. We do use it, but not much - we find that we can get far more information from the internet; museums; galleries; real life people etc.

And my children spend loads of time with other children. This morning my oldest and I took part in a weekly structured home ed group; tomorrow we'll be spending the day with my mum; on Wednesday my oldest goes to French club, and then we're all going to a rehearsal for a Christmas show with about 50 other individuals from HE families, and after that a 3 hour-long twice monthly social HE meet. On Thursday we're meeting up with HE friends. On Friday the oldest two do swimming lessons; then Badgers, while the youngest two go and play at their friends' house. On Saturday the oldest two have dance lessons. And after school finishes, they all go out and play with their schooled friends who live in our road. No shortage of time with other adults and children there!

I totally disagree that spellings have to be learnt - I am a very good speller but never had to learn them for tests. It just came naturally because I read a lot. My oldest is only 7 and is already a fantastic speller.

And socially, spending day in-day out with a huge number of people exactly the same age as you is not a good introduction to real life - at no other time in your life will you be in a remotely similar situation. The best preparation for real life is living real life - running errands with your parents; seeing them deal with relationships; having them guide you with problems with your friends; gradually taking control of their own relationships as they grow up.

I hope I don't mean to sound disparaging, but I wanted to show how your concerns about HE are not necessarily valid, Milamae. And, FWIW, our greatest supporters in our family are a primary school teacher, a secondary school teacher and a psychotherapist.

MilaMae, why would you have to spend hrs over lesson plans.

I home ed DS1, do the school run for DS2, write lesson plans for my after school clubs(thats why I'm on the pc now!) do semi-structured Home ed, some planned in advance, writing my own worksheets and sourcing others, cook, clean, run after-school clubs where DCs both come too(and learn with other children), private tutor two other Home ed kids and a multitude of other tasks and run a small Ltd company. DS1 has a set plan for mornings m-f and works along side me in the office. (multi tasking helps) we have a couple of tutors and go to cubs and home ed group and a steiner home school class.

No time to lesson plan is a rather lame excuse when there are so many benefits to be had by home schooling. I wouldn't let that put you off. What is so great that as someone who spends time lesson planning anyway, none of my home ed lessons are disrupted by behaviour and it's more fulfilling when the effort is for your own DCs

"I totally disagree that spellings have to be learnt - I am a very good speller but never had to learn them for tests. It just came naturally because I read a lot. My oldest is only 7 and is already a fantastic speller."

I cross posted with you Notanotherbrick. I couldn't agree more. DS1 was struggling with spelling at school, he is now reading more, which is helping, he is also doing crosswords and word searches, much more fun than spelling tests. Using skills in logic, problem solving, reading, using a dictionary, nothing too spoon fed about it either!

I agree training for real life takes place only when you are living it. Life skills can not be taught in a classroom.

I agree with Milamae, although accept that NotAnotherBrick's argument may also have merit, IF you live in an area where there are obviously many like minded people and activities established where the children meet together and learn together (much like a school setting in fact ).
I might have considered home education for my dcs in those circumstances but where we live they would be the only children for miles and miles in that situation so no HE network. Also, again because of where we live, they are in fantastic state schools, small classes, commited teachers, and good friends that they spend a lot of time with.

2blessed - the HE groups are nothing like school, I can assure you of that! The groups are smaller. They're not taught. The children are in control. They're not for 6 hours a day for 5 days a week. The parents attend too. The age range is far larger than in a class.

IMO, even fantastic schools couldn't offer my children what I want them to have...it's not about being anti-schools or anti-teachers...just that I have very strong views about how I want my children to be brought up and I am willing to do what it takes to ensure that happens. I don't think a school, even a brilliant one with 100% guaranteed brilliant teachers, could do what I want. It's a lifestyle choice for us.

If the lifestyle/parenting issue isn't similar to mine, then some of the usual arguments against HE might hold more water for me.

I am writing this and desperately hoping I'm not coming across as antagonistic, as I'm not meaning to! Just that there's more to it, for our family, than just 'the local schools are bad' or 'my children aren't ready for school'.

Have you asked your DC? Are they happy? I don't think that it should be about you-I loved school when I was 6 yrs and I can't say that I was bothered about whether my mother found it tough.

Oh hey, each to their own! Don't think that you're being antagonistic at all, don't worry. I suppose I just feel that you still require an element of support, whether it's from HE groups or whoever - and that is not available in our area. I also doubt that I'd be the best person to educate any child, let alone my own super special amazing ones ....and ds1 is asd, and has many and complex needs - while he is at school these are met, and I have a semblance of normal life

If your DC is already at school the most sensible thing is to ask them - maybe they would love to be at home with you but maybe they love the stimulus of school-the important thing is to listen to the answer.

YANBU.
we've decided against it ourselves as DD is flourishing in preschool but if it ever goes wrong we will HE.