to keep longing to home educate my DC's

[ValentinCrimble]

I find school tough...there's always something I am unhappy with or suspicious of...I KNOW the kids are fine...it's a good school...I know that they will get through it all and have an education/friends and all that...but I keep thinking that they would have all that anyway and without my having to support the 6 year old with reams of homework every night and crap reading scheme books.

Is it still thought of as odd or weird to home ed? I sense a bit of a change in people's opinions recently...DC is in a private prep...money is not an issue as we are lucky enough to have a bursary...don't know how I would deal with state as our local one is notoriously bad (I am talking rife with bullies and under special measures) and the others are rammed to the gills with locals on waiting lists.

I'm not unhappy with the school as such but feel that its an awful lot to trust strangers with my DC's education...come on...give me your best for and againsts of home ed?

I have raised this issue previously on MN toffeeandfudgecake - you'll be shouted down by a few Home Ed'ers who insist that they are living on the povery line, eat lentils and weave their own clothes!!

Seriously, I totally accept that many people who feel strongly about HEd'ing will scrimp and cut back to be able to do it, BUT I still believe that you need to be in a reasonably privileged position to be able to afford to do it in the first place. To be able to live on one income, whether it's one person working f/t, or the two of you juggling p/t jobs, is a luxury in this day and age, particularly when you consider it's long term - if you have several children you're talking about 15 or 20 years of not earning, or only earning very p/t.

I think in reality, HE is for those who are better off than many

I HE and work, I am setting up my mini language school as we speak to work even more than I did when he was at school, I can do it now cos I spend time with him for most of the day, so it isn?t the end of the world if I work in the late afternoon/evening. that would have been a huge issue for me if he were at school all day and came home a few hours after I'd started work only to kiss him goodnight when he was frowsy. Not knocking anybody who does have that situation, just that it isn't for me and I was lucky enough to have a choice in the matter.

In our case we are both freelance, both work from home and get to set our own hours, so we are able to ring fence the morning for formal learning with me and then share the early afternoon (autonomous learning time) before activities kick in, depending on who has a client or an urgent job on. Although his father does all the ferrying to activities and playing with other kids cos I can?t drive.

We do have funds to pay for things like subscription sites and later on things like science camps. For which I am grateful.

However a great deal of HEing parents manage on one income and without huge amounts of money available. I think it probably helps a lot that there are lots of HEing families in the UK so they can form groups and pool their resources to provide activities and opportunities that as individuals they couldn't manage.

To be honest I don't think it needs to cost as much as I?ve spent. I'm a sucker for a good blurb. If I had more limited funds I?d probably be far more selective, waste less and still get the same results. Generally what I have found is that having the cash saves time rather than buys me otherwise unavailable opportunities. I could create more of our interactive and paper based resources myself...but am very lazy busy.

I HE my grandson whom I've had custody of since he was 2. He's been HE for the last 5+ years.
I'm a pensioner and I get Child Benefit for him.

We manage just fine - it's just a matter of where to look for free stuff on the net.

I don't get choccies, flowers and stuff like that from my 7 kids and 14 other grandchildren for birthdays, Christmas Day etc - I get subscriptions for different sites for various subjects, and book tokens. We go to car boots and charity shops.
He goes to a HE group two full days a week paid for by a bursary where he does cookery, art, First Aid, PE, small animal care,science, pottery etc.

Violet - that is what I suspected.

Thanks for your replies, Sarahitaly and Marjoriew. It is useful to see how you manage it, although none of the options you mention would be available to me.

I suppose it gets easier to combine working part time with HE as the children get older and can be more independent.

I HE my ds1 and fully intend to (and indeed am) HE my ds2.

My dh works full time. I have not worked outside the home since having my ds1 7/8 years ago.

We manage.

My car is 5 years old and I will basically have to drive it til the wheels fall off! We dont go on expensive hols like we did pre dc. We dont drink (much) we dont smoke, we all have bikes so we can take off into the countryside if its a nice day.

Ds1 does karate, swimming and beavers which do cost money, but he would have done them even if he had been at school anyway.

Bear in mind, if your dc dont go to school you have no uniform/PE kits to buy each year, no lunchboxes to fill only to find them coming home still full at hometime, no pleas from the school for money for trips, book clubs, after school clubs etc

I have found that I spend much more on petrol now than I used to but thats because we are so busy all the time!!! Another plus is that ds1 eats much better now too.

I would work PT if I wanted to, but at the moment we have so much going on so it may not happen til my dc are older. I would also like to continue with my PT OU degree at some point.

HEing your kids is hard work. Its also wonderful, enriching and surprising...ds1 and I have spent this morning at a "forest skills" course at a local nature reserve..... he made a den, whittled a willow stick, used it to toast marshmallows and dough balls over a fire and made a crown from leave and berries!!!

HE does not have to cost lots of money....if you take the autonomous approach the internet and libraries will give you all you need.

What always surprises me is the amount of teachers I meet who HE their kids!!!!

...should also point out the great help and advice on the HE board on MN!!!!!! The posters and their advice have been a godsend for me....

Also, most HE activities dont actually cost much. Ds1 went on a HE day at RAF cosford in May and it cost £5 for him and my dh was free!!! Ds1 belongs to a wildlife watch group which meets monthly and that only £1.50 per session. We went on a museum visit last month which only cost £5.

Most places/museums etc do reduced rates for HEers...you just need to ask!

I know people who HE on very low incomes and people who are quite well off...thats the beauty of it IMO...it is something you can do regardless of income.

Thanks, becaroo. I hadn't thought of the savings made by not having school expenses, such as uniforms, PE kits and trips. And I didn't know that museums etc do reduced rates for HEers. It sounds as if you are giving your DS a wonderful start in life - and it must be marvellous to be so involved in it all.

I thought of HE again as DS2 protested about going to school this morning. I went through all this with DS1, but things improved once he received one-to-one help with his dyslexia. I had thought DS2 would be easier. But his problem is that he hates what he calls "being told what to do all the time" and also gets bored because at the moment the reception teacher is teaching them the alphabet, whereas he is already starting to read (not dyslexic this time!). The joy of HE must be being able to teach (or 'facilitate learning') at each child's level.

On the other hand, both boys - and I - get a wonderful sense of community from the school. We have all made friends there and there are some truly fabulous teachers. There are more pros than cons, I would say.

But it is really useful to hear how other people manage HE. Having been through some really tough times with DS1 at primary school, I wouldn't hesitate to consider it if secondary school doesn't work out for him.

another fan of Sarahitaly

love your posts!

Valentin, take your time making your decision. You are in a very lucky situation to have both a school you consider very good and the possiblity/willingness to HE

Its always an option! good luck x