to keep longing to home educate my DC's

[ValentinCrimble]

I find school tough...there's always something I am unhappy with or suspicious of...I KNOW the kids are fine...it's a good school...I know that they will get through it all and have an education/friends and all that...but I keep thinking that they would have all that anyway and without my having to support the 6 year old with reams of homework every night and crap reading scheme books.

Is it still thought of as odd or weird to home ed? I sense a bit of a change in people's opinions recently...DC is in a private prep...money is not an issue as we are lucky enough to have a bursary...don't know how I would deal with state as our local one is notoriously bad (I am talking rife with bullies and under special measures) and the others are rammed to the gills with locals on waiting lists.

I'm not unhappy with the school as such but feel that its an awful lot to trust strangers with my DC's education...come on...give me your best for and againsts of home ed?

Not as well as their parents will, Cote.

I understand where you're coming from OP. Like you, I'm a bookworm, went to a dodgy comp and hated school.

We decided to start the DC in full time school (a nice private one with a good combination of challenging and cherishing) and see how it goes. Back up plan if they're unhappy there (or DH unhappy at work and we can't afford the fees anymore) is to home ed. I keep finding myslef a bit annoyed that he is very happy at work, and the DC are loving school!

I don't want to rock the coat and take them out when they're happy. I also want to still enjoy the time with DS2 who is still a toddler.

The more I read about home-ed though, the more I decide I would take a structured approach; Dsis is doing autonomous with her DC (age 11 & 9), and they already have some large blank spots.

Basically though, if any of my DC had a similar personality type to me, they'd love home ed. However, they're extroverts like DH, and love the buzz of school. I'd be doing it for me, not them.

sorry for types, bfing&typing. (One solo word needs to be invented for that dual-action... bryping? Tyfing?)

"I have checked sarah....there's loads of support there as it's quite a common thing to do."

Cool, I do think that people underestimate how hard it can be for children to be dropped into a school with a different culture surrounded by a language they don't speak and left to sink or swim. It is certainly a great opportunity to try HE on for size and see how it fits.

I withdrew my son from Italian primary because the standard of education was so poor. It has been a tussle because of the regulations here, but I have been pleasantly surprised at how well it has been going despite my initial reservations.

Living through a process does not mean that you are processed.

Socialization in a class of your peers is vastly and obviously different to staying at home with your mom for company as you study alone. I am talking about all those other things you learn while sitting side by side with others for many years - when to push, when to desist, how to handle a bully, petty jealousy, friendship and conflict, when to share when not to, how people cheat, how they try to use you, and many other lessons we need to learn that will probably not happen from their contact with the grocer and the mailman. Nor from seeing their peers for an hour of soccer practice or whatever.

Teachers don't need to know students as well as their parents to teach them well. They are professionals. Mom is not.

I think Notanotherbrick that some people are VERY uncomfortable with anything that makes them question the Status Quo...it might make them uncomfortable because of insecurities.

CoteDAzur - surely home ed kids learn all that from......

Siblings?

Cote...bless you...I'm not "Mom"..this is the UK and I am Mummy. Over here, we don't endow those with degrees with super-human status as I have seen some people in the USA do..I have a degree though...two in fact...but even if I did not that would be no indicator of my ability to teach my own children.

In the UK you can qualify as a teacher by the age of 24 or so...I am almost 40 with vast life experience in comparison to some teachers...so I am comfortable with my ability to teach young minds.

Cote - you don't need to teach a child for them to learn. Teachers are very well trained to impart set lumps of information to large groups of children. They are experts at doing that. HEing parents don't have to do that. It works completely differently, and, I'm afraid, you are really showing your naievety about how children learn; and about the amount of time HE children spend in the company of other children; and about how vital it is to spend hours every day with a group of children all the same age as you.

My children do not sit at home studying alone with me. They play together; spend whole days at friends' houses or with friends here; read; watch tv; play some more; visit museums with their family or with HE groups or with one or two other families; read some more; do baking, sewing, knitting, sticking, making; play in the garden; ride their bikes.

You have a very skewed view of what life is like for a HEd child. I wish I could invite all the people who think HE is what you think it is (and there are a lot of you!) to come and spend a week with us - they'd soon realise that it's nothing like you think! It's very frustrating to be constantly explaining it, though.

I'm not American and have never lived in the US.

That you write "mum" and not "mom" does not mean the argument in my post is invalid.

You might indeed turn out to be a better teacher to your DC than their teacher at school, but that is unlikely given your inexperience in teaching (although you might be older than the teacher - not sure how you think that is relevant in teaching, say, chemistry).

It sounds like your own experiences in school are coloring your judgement.

I was a bit of a geek too, by the way, reading encyclopedias at age 8.

YANBU. We have just taken the decision to home ed and our girls wont be starting reception. It's what's right for our family. And incidentally, they love their workbooks and ask to do them every day. Long may it last!

I am much more open-minded about HE than most HErs I know are about school education, lol :).

@coteDAzur

I do understand what you are getting at.

When I withdrew my son I was deeply concerned that just joining a team wouldn't give him the range of opportunities for social development that I would have liked. Nor would it have satisfied his desire to play with other kids as much as possible.

Luckily the town opened a fantastic facility for kids to spend four hours a time in, four afternoons a week, with both free play and organized activities.

That combined with the sport teams and the friends that come here to play (when he is not at their house) I think we have more than compensated for the lack of school in the social sense. Espcially since his class usually only got one playtime a week. (One teacher cancelled breaktimes for the whole class if a single child broke a minor rule)

It is possible to seek out alternative settings where similar life lessons can be learned. If of course it is an environment that suits the child. Mine is very gregarious and would be miserable with just me or the occasional postman for company, which is probably why I placed such emphasis on seeking out opportunities for him.

Not to mention that I'd go mad if he wasn't out of the house playing elsewhere for a good chunk of the day.

NotAnotherrBrick - I'm sure that works well when your kids are 2 and 7. What do you intend to do to teach them mathematics? I doubt if museums and lots of play at friends' houses will quite cut it.

Cote...I never suggested you calling me "Mom" was affecting my judgement of your post. Though I do wonder why you would use that word if you are not American...

I have not once on this thread revealed my teaching experience orlack of it... have I? No. It is not relevant.

I am glad you read encyclopedias at 8...you must have had fun!

I am saying your bad experiences of school as a child is coloring your judgement of what is best for your DC's education. What are you talking about with "mom" not affecting your "judgement" of my post?

I'm not a native speaker of English and tend to use English word and their American counterparts interchangeably.

English words

Don't worry, my four children's maths skills are already way above what they would be were they in school with no formal teaching whatsoever.

You are still being narrowminded. This is one of many articles and books by people who really know what they're talking about that shows why children don't need formal tuition to be able to acheive the things they want to acheive.

I'm off to bed now. Can't be arsed with this stupid conversation anymore. Fed up of reading and trying to counteract the same boring old misguided perceptions about home education. Very boring and frustrating.

"My children do not sit at home studying alone with me. They play together; spend whole days at friends' houses or with friends here; read; watch tv; play some more; visit museums with their family or with HE groups or with one or two other families; read some more; do baking, sewing, knitting, sticking, making; play in the garden; ride their bikes."

NotAnotherBrick: my children do all that (apart from visit HE groups that is) AND go to school. For me, school ADDS to the above experiences, which are free-time activities to me. When as an adult an you honestly spend all day doing free-time kind of stuff, unless you become a SAHM or are unemployed? It's a fact of life that as an adult most of us have to go out to work and do a paid job - parts of which we might find boring, repetitive, restrictive, or whatever. For me, school is something which helps prepare children for this aspect of adult life.

Someone further up mentioned that at the Home Ed group meetings "the children are in control." Sorry, can't remember who it was, but whoever it was - can you tell me what you mean by that? Do you mean that the children choose their own activity or what they learn next etc? Because to me, that's all well and good, but again, how is being in control teaching them how to just get on and deal with the boring bits of a paid job? Or having their line manager giving them a task and expecting them to get on with it without moaning and whingeing that they aren't in the mood for it?

OP, don't get me wrong, I am not completely anti home ed. I would do it in a heartbeat if my child were getting bullied and the school didn't resolve it. (and if we could afford for me to give up work!)

It's just that, as other people have pointed out, it sounds as if it's more YOU that has the issue over formal schooling rather than your child.

Re: the issue of homework - that does seem an excessive amount and if it's causing your child to be so tired and drained then could you not have a word with the teacher and come to a compromise about the amount that your child is given?

You do have to bear in mind the DC-as people have already said-you may have 2 that are chalk and cheese and one thrives on school and one thrives at home. The important thing is to treat them as indivividuals and keep what suits you out of the equation.

I was a child who wanted to be taught and my mother felicitating my education wouldn't have suited me at all. I liked to sit down with books and have someone teach me. I wanted them to know what they should teach me, often things that seem boring are the most interesting. If a DC is very self motivated and opinionated they will do much better.
Most of all I would have hated us having to allow for my two younger brothers and spend all my time with them.
I would also have hated not seeing the same friends every day and my mother thinking that once a week or once in a while was good enough.

Cote...you know what I meant....you said that your use of the term Mom did not make your post invalid....so I reiterated that I did not mention your use of that term as an indicator of my judging your post negatively.

So...thank you for your input...but you lost me when you came on the thread talking of "Control freakery" Yawn.

'And incidentally, they love their workbooks and ask to do them every day. Long may it last!'

We are all different-at school they would have got away from dire workbooks and be learning through play. Why use workbooks at home when you have time and real life?

Curlyhairedassasin Your expecctations of your DC's seem to be that they will be in a low position professionally. I went to a crap comp but never was I taught by my parents that one day I would have a line manager and have to deal with the "boring bits" at work...and guess what? I don't. Because I have my own business and none of what I do is boring.

I don't want to prepare my kids to be managed.

NotAnotherBrick: please stay - I for one am glad the OP posted because I AM interested in HE because I don't know anyone who actually does it. It would be good to get some feedback on my thoughts and I'm sure there will be others who feel the same.