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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset at restaurant's manager who told us off because of kids eating messily?

150 replies

lilasimpson · 10/10/2010 18:58

went for lunch today with friends and her kids...so with my two kids (9monts old and 5) there were 4 kids at this buffet restaurant...at the end of dinner, manager came up top me to say that it was ok this time bjt next time we have to be careful with the mess....the big kids were very good...just our little 2...my bb is blw so really messy....i did ask for a broom before he came up to me as i was planning to clear it...also got charged for 2 kids when they shouldnot pay as under 5 or 5...when asked he did say that it was also to pay for wastage....what do u think?

OP posts:
reallytired · 11/10/2010 11:31

It is one of situations that you really need to know the other side. These threads are terribly biased.

I don't think baby led weaning is an excuse for mess. There are ways of minimising mess with baby led weanig. For example only an idiot woud give a 9 month old baby a full plate of food. If you give the baby a tiny amount of food then then is not much they can throw on the floor. If they eat the food then you can give them a bit more. When you eat out then its a good idea to put a towel on the floor to catch any bits. Infact I have found baby led weaning to be less messy than normal weaning.

Maybe what you consider is good behaviour by your older chidren is lower than other parents expect of their children. I have never met your kids. I have no idea whether hey are brattish or not. Maybe they were singing at the tops of their voices and what you think is cute is insanely annoying to everyone else.

Managers of resturants want repeat custom. Their jobs depend on it. I imagine it must have been quite extreme to warrent that kind of response.

chipmonkey · 11/10/2010 11:35

OP, he sounds like a twunt. And as to charging for waste, I'm glad I don't get charged for that every time I leave a few chips on my plate in our local cafe, would cost me a fortune!

newwave, people who work for the public DO NOT deserve to be sworn at and abused. And I have worked in places where customers have been ejected for behaviour like that.

readinginsteadnow · 11/10/2010 11:36

grtamercy; she did want to leave the buggies in a corner, but then sit close to the food. Fair enough if its a buffet and you have to help 4 kids choose and get your own. Ok, 3 kids maybe as the messy one is a baby, but it still needs to be watched while you're at the buffet iyswim.

Altho I am getting a bit confused Op, you needed 2 double buggies yet two of the kids were 'older' and one was stated as being 5? Why do you need 2 double buggies?

MadameDefarge · 11/10/2010 11:38

I always expect kids to make a mess....always have the broom and sanitiser handy when littles are around.

I do prefer it actually for parents to leave all mess for us to clean up, as however well-intentioned, clearing up your kids mess doesn't actually clean it, just smears invisible gunk around.

Apologise by all means, that's just good manners, but leave the rest of it to the staff...its their job.

lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 14:21

in fact i had one double buggy as the restaurant was far two walk...dd1 had lost scooter and looks like a 3 year old so still fits in buggy...my friend had a double buggy two as she has sold her single...as reading said, I did want to park or fold pushchairs! AND i DID NOT give a plate to baby!! just gave her single items but obviously eats a bit and drops the item! baby nowhere left as much mess as a child's meal, so come on...! i am getting a bit upset at some of you who do seem to be the perfect mother and never had a crying child or a messy baby...(sorry, not all of you of course, but some on this thread), although do not want to be aggressive....
anyway i think i will stop this thread as this is going out of proportion, thank to a lot of you for your support,,...and no sorry, did not have a camera....i rarely go out for meals with my 2 kids by myself(1st time in fact) and thought that would be a treat but still did not bring camera!! so no photo of the mess....

OP posts:
lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 14:23

really tired, i found you very offending...my kid did not sing nor shout nor run...so i believe he behaved well, very upset by you thinking my standards are low...

OP posts:
giveitago · 11/10/2010 14:30

No - outrageous.

My dh runs a restaurant - lots of kids there hence lots of running around kids and lots of mess and lots of 'wastage'.

No kids menu so everything ordered gets eaten or on the floor wall (if littles ones).

Write and complain. If under 5's were free then free it should be!

There are lots of restaurant review websites - go give your verdict.

ColdComfortFarm · 11/10/2010 14:32

I think newwave is actually the cat bin lady.

cat64 · 11/10/2010 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kslatts · 11/10/2010 15:05

YANBU - I would of refused to pay for the children.

SunnyDays06 · 11/10/2010 15:27

That is very rude! Kids do make mess, he obviously has none of his own!

lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 16:10

thanks cat64, i completely agree, there are 2 sides of the story but did still feel offended as i can judge if my son behaves well or is naughty...thank u all for your support

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 11/10/2010 16:30

er... confused ... is not giving the baby a plate supposed to be a good thing?

ruddynorah · 11/10/2010 16:39

I pay for an adult buffet between dd age 4 and Ds 10 months. They both eat a lot. Why would I not pay when they're eating the food? The waste charge is just to discourage folk from talking a pile of food they won't eat just because it's all you can eat.

Re the mess. We try to clear up round Ds as we go, and put a large pelican bin on him so not much mess anyway. Plus, the waitresses where we go are fab and just sweep around constantly.

auntloretta · 11/10/2010 16:44

what is baby led weaning for goodness sake? is not all weaning baby led...sorry new to mumsnet and my DD is 4 so never heard of this phenomonon.

thesecondcoming · 11/10/2010 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

auntloretta · 11/10/2010 17:21

crikey I have never heard the likes of it thesecondcoming.

im totaly baffled...but I think there is money in these micky mouse approaches im penning my manual as we talk...child lead parenting....its a concept that involves your children running all over you for the rest of your goddamn life. im titeling it how to loose life to non aulteristice DCs whilst losing all self identity and crumbling at forst sign of crissis.

BTW I dont think you are too unreasonible as the resteraunt stated children 5 and under free (IME this is unuasual as its normaly Underr said age meaning % would pay, or one free with one adult). but somewhat niave to the fact that when socialising in grown up situations all children do need to learn a sence of etiquete and at 5yrs this should already be well esablished requiring very little attention being draw to your family

auntloretta · 11/10/2010 17:22

sorry % sign snuck in all by its self should read 5 would pay. x

bigfootbeliever · 11/10/2010 17:27

I dont get the bit about putting a 5 year old in a buggy.

Why would anyone do that?

ruddynorah · 11/10/2010 17:29

It's not new at all. My 4.5 yr old did blw. It just means no spoon feeding, hence the mess in question in the op.

auntloretta · 11/10/2010 17:31

Why no spoon feeding Hmm surely there are certain foods requiring a spoon, so when is the cutlery introduced?

colditz · 11/10/2010 17:34

hmm, I dunno. I was sat with my children with a friend of mine and HER child, when the staff came over to ask her to please not make so much mess this time ...

And tbh the staff had a point. Her idea of 'normal mess' is hugely different to mine. My idea of normal mess is some crumbs and a couple of peas. her idea of normal includes whole sausages, shredded napkins, half slices of toast, the yolk of an egg .... and she just used to leave it. he baby would throw it on the floor for amusement and she made no effort to stop him, ever. She does now though, and I find we don't walk out of places under a cloud of glares any more!

You don't have to get down there and lick the floor clean, just pick up anything you would reasonably pick up at a friend's house.

Saying that, we've also eaten in places where the 'manager' was huffing and puffing because "You've got all the highchairs at your table, you know, all of them!"

Yes, but we also have ALL the children in this place.... perhaps, if you really like to see highchairs stacked, empty, against a wall, you should buy some more, no?

TattyDevine · 11/10/2010 17:38

Hahaha like a lamb to the slaughter!

Laquitar · 11/10/2010 17:38

Grin thesecondcoming. Maybe the waiter hasn't read the books. This wasn't any mess. It was blw mess. Ignorant.

TattyDevine · 11/10/2010 17:38

That was at Aunt Loretta by the way! Grin