AIBU to be upset at restaurant's manager who told us off because of kids eating messily?

[lilasimpson]

went for lunch today with friends and her kids...so with my two kids (9monts old and 5) there were 4 kids at this buffet restaurant...at the end of dinner, manager came up top me to say that it was ok this time bjt next time we have to be careful with the mess....the big kids were very good...just our little 2...my bb is blw so really messy....i did ask for a broom before he came up to me as i was planning to clear it...also got charged for 2 kids when they shouldnot pay as under 5 or 5...when asked he did say that it was also to pay for wastage....what do u think?

Shouldn't have paid for them, end of.

They make enough profit out of you anyway. I couldn't count how many times I have ruined a brilliant white table cloth with spilled food when out in a restaurant. Cleaning up after, goes with the territory. I am worse than the kids! You could have contacted his manager and said how unreasonable he was, and your'e never going to use the restaurant again.

name and shame, if only so i avoid there with my messy children

I would expect any restaurant to welcome children at lunchtime and deal with any normal mess.

I always "apologise" for the mess and, if they take it in good spirit, leave a generous tip. However, if not, they get some sharp words. I go to a restaurant to be served food without either cooking it or clearing up after myself. Children are messy. It comes with the territory. If restaurants do not want them, they should make it clear in advance.

My only reservation is if children are disturbing other customers. Clearly, yours were not.

I still think you should name and shame.

YANBU

That's an awful way to treat a customer.

Cleaning up mess after children (and adults actually) is on par with Working in food establishment.

God knows I've done my fair share of cleaning up after messy children when I was working.

I've been taking my ds to restaurants, posh and family, since he was weaned (also BLW) and I've only ever had compliments about his behaviour at the table. In fact he behaves better when eating out than he does at home.

I always pick up any food that's been dropped although to be fair he loves his food so much that it doesn't usually miss his mouth enough to end up on the floor.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with kids in restaurants, as long as it's at a reasonable time and the parents can control the kids behaviour.

Very intolerant, if it's a chain write to head office to complain - we had this once in a small cafe, my ds (then 5) tipped some salt onto the table, we were told to keep our children under control as if he'd done something terrible, so we left and ate somewhere more child friendly!

It's not a problem now they are 5 and 8, can eat anywhere without harrassment from people with not idea of what it's like with small children.

Make sure you ask for a refund for paying for under 5's, and also threaten to name and shame on mumsnet! I don't know what else they expect if small children are welcomed.

just reminded me -my dd spilled half a take away cup of hot chocolate over the floor and the seat in costa cofee the other day actually. the staff cleaned it up even though i offered AND gave my DD a new drink AND added some marshmallow to it as she was upset her drink was gone. She said sorry, and thank you, and the member of staff was like 'oh you are welcome little miss, accidents happen sometimes'.

Didn't cost them anything, and I will take DD back again (when she is less likely to spill a drink!).

on this occasion, did not spill any liquid, nor any saucy food so still get upset with the treatment i got...thank you all for those who were supportive!!

I'd say it depends on where you were. By the sounds of it, if you're a regular, it must be a recognised fmaily restaurant. In which case, I'd be a bit upset with the guy.

If it was Langhams brasserie I'd see it differently!

Its way more important for children to be well behaved than to be neat and tidy in a restaurant, IMHO, so I'd say, YANB at all U to be upset. Put it behind you and find another favourite spot to take your custom to

Havent we had on here before that you are not supposed to clean up the floor as you are transferring all sorts of crap all over the place and it needs to be done professionally?

Oh and I completely disagree that dcs shouldnt be taken to restaurants until they know how to 'behave' - how are they going ot learn if you dont take them.

Mind you I am quite hard on mine in public places - no running about, no shouting, no throwing etc

Maybe you are a regular that costs them a fortune, if you regularly go there and just pay for 2 adults with 4 children going free.

I take my children to restaurants fairly often and they know how to behave and not make a mess. Anything that does fall on the floor gets cleaned up there and then - we don't wait until the end of the meal.I don't understand why you asked for a broom. Cleaning up broccili and grapes just needs you to quickly swipe a baby wipe around. And as for having to cope without your 'hubbies'

You are kind of making it out to be everyone else's fault.

Thekidsmom,

Langhams Brasserie, takes me back, is that still going?

For me, the more expensive the restaurant, the better I expect the staff to behave towards me and my family.

It is just not rocket science for restaurants to realise that a family is going to be a good loyal customer to a restaurant and that messy 2 year olds grow up to be well behaved children with hearty appetites.

There is just no excuse for a waiter to not be able to spend 2 minutes with a broom and do it with good grace,

River - the restaurant offers the 'kids eat free' deal. That's their policy. You can't then bitch about kids eating for free - that's the deal!

The child under five eats free thing - are you sure that is not just one per adult.

Seems to me that two adults go in with four kids, expect the kids to eat for free and make an almighty mess and think it outrageous to be charged for two of the children.

TBH expecting four children to eat for free sounds too good to be true.

If the company doesn't state that it's one free child meal per one adult meal, then they can hardly bitch about two adults taking four kids into the restaurant. It's not the customers fault if their offer means they sometimes lose out.

The manager just sounds like an arse TBH.
Also, I doubt the OP gave the 9mo a large meal, so the mess couldn't have been that bad.

under 5's eat free? then he shouldnt have charged you and you should have stood your ground and said no to pay for their meals

i assume it says on the wall/menu etc that under 5's eat free?

young children/toddlers eating do make a mess, but whether blw or not, there shouldnt be tons of food left over/on floor etc so yes i would name and shame this resturant

Larygyls in my experience the more expensive restaurants do treat children better, especially in London.

I have had some great meals in some really lovely restaurants where my DC have been treated well and had a wonderful time as a result. We have been to top end places where we have been happy to order off the menu but the chef has insisted on knocking up something more toddler/child friendly and presenting it like a little picture on the plate and one place where the waitress took our ds for a walk in the pram when he woke so we could finish our lunch.

It is when I go to zizi's et al that I am made to feel like a pain in the arse.

I

Name + Shame

Nancy,

We only have one 16 month old and he is clearly messy! I have never had a bad experience in either upmarket or mid market (Zizi, Pizza Express etc) restaurants. Maybe I have just been lucky. Most waiters/waitresses have been really charming and sweet to my son. We do live in, apparently, the area with the highest birth rate in Europe (SW London) so maybe they know their customer base.

Kids eat free, they don't have free food to throw around. I guess if there was enough food on the floor to constitute an entire meal, the manager probably was right to charge. Without a picture of the floor, we really can't say whether this was reasonable or not.

OP, did you take a before and after photo of the floor? :o

I know that one have never made such a mess that anyone has felt th need to comment... The odd chip or piece of veg etc which I've usually picked up at the time if I'd noticed and some stuff on the table, yes of course. A 9 month old, fussy, BLW child is probably messier than most though :)

Was it Pizza Hut?

I got DD a child's icecream once, should have been £1. She then decided she couldn't eat it as she'd burnt her tongue on the pizza so I ate it. They insisted I pay £2 for an adult's icecream even though the bowl had been half full. They admitted if I hadn't eaten it they'd only have charged £1. I couldn't be bothered to argue but looking back maybe I should have sued for the hot pizza burning the tongue incident. That would have learnt 'em.

A bit ridiculous this. Having cheffed/managed a restaurant, a few basics:

1 - A parent has every right to take their kids out to eat at a restaurant, unless the restaurant explicitly states that children are not welcome.

2 - Kids will eat messily at certain times and certain ages.

3 - The restaurant has the right to expect the parents to keep a reasonable degree of control over their children in terms of discipline, boundaries etc. and make sure the other diners aren't unreasonably disturbed. As long as the mess isn't deliberate (food fight!) then it doesn't qualify as bad behaviour.

4 - A restaurant is part of the HOSPITALITY industry. Sorry if this sounds like I'm being up myself, but every member of staff there is paid to be hospitable. Their job is to ensure that you enjoy a meal without some of the hassle you have at home (cooking, washing up, CLEANING etc.) The cost of cleaning, wastage etc is factored in to the meal prices at any restaurant. If it isn't, then the manager is simply a bit shit at his job.

5 - Almost more appalling is the cowardice of the manager in only mentioning these things to you when he knew you were about to leave. If he had an issue then he should have told you immediately, giving you the option of either cleaning as you went along or going somewhere else. Guessing he didn't want to lose the business.

YANBU.

I think it depends how bad the mess was, tbh. Some of the descriptions I've read of BLW make me think that there's no way I'd take a baby fed like that into any indoor eating establishment... not unless I brought my own large splash matt to put under the chair, really.

Sorry OP, this is obviously not personal (I don't know you from Eve), but I'd like to see a picture of the mess left behind when the manager approached, before I could say what was reasonable or not.

@ragged

BLW isn't necessarily that much messier than other types of weaning. Same as anything else - it depends on the kid. Our daughter was BLW and has always been pretty tidy. From some of the OP's later posts, it doesn't sound like the mess was that bad.

Even taking into account your last para, the issue still remains that the manager should have addressed the issue early rather than once the OP was getting ready to leave.

Name and shame. And write a strident letter of complaint, ccing your local paper.

It was billed as kids under 5 eat free to encourage family dining. Your kids went and ate and well behaved - they were out of order to charge for them. You also offered to clear up 3 times and asked for a broom to do so. They did not provide this. DS2 was blw and I always used to clear up after him and apologise for the mess he made while eating. As long as you thoroughly clear up after them, I dont see what basis they have to complain.

Reading the whole thread I see you brought in TWO double buggies - and had the audacity to request to sit near the buffet.

In most restaurants empty buggies/pushchairs (ie not ones with a tiny sleeping baby in) must be placed in a corner, preferably folded. This is quite right, imo - you can't have customers and staff trying to get round them.

And it is unacceptable to make a mess. Accidents happen, of course, but parents who let kids smear things around and drop stuff all over the floor must take responsiblity.