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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset at restaurant's manager who told us off because of kids eating messily?

150 replies

lilasimpson · 10/10/2010 18:58

went for lunch today with friends and her kids...so with my two kids (9monts old and 5) there were 4 kids at this buffet restaurant...at the end of dinner, manager came up top me to say that it was ok this time bjt next time we have to be careful with the mess....the big kids were very good...just our little 2...my bb is blw so really messy....i did ask for a broom before he came up to me as i was planning to clear it...also got charged for 2 kids when they shouldnot pay as under 5 or 5...when asked he did say that it was also to pay for wastage....what do u think?

OP posts:
GeekOfTheWeek · 10/10/2010 19:48

He's an arse.

nancydrewrocked · 10/10/2010 19:56

You should feel no shame in naming and shaming them.

The manage behaved appalingly and there is no way you should have paid for an extra child.

Unbelievable.

ApocalypseCheese · 10/10/2010 19:57

My two used to do this, I used to get down on my hands and knees to pick it up, absolutely no way would I leave it for some poor sod on the minimum wage to sort out.

Lavitabellissima · 10/10/2010 19:57

As a restaurant manager myself I think it's appauling that he even commented on the mess. It is expected that children make a mess and as someone earlier posted, it is part of the waiters job desciption to clean up after families.

Write a complaint letter.

I always appreciate it when mum's say "sorry about the mess" but always decline if they offer to sweep themselves Shock IMHO it is part of the service offered if a restaurant says it's family friendly.

Don't get me started though on parents who let their kids run wild though Grin

AliBean · 10/10/2010 19:57

If you offered to clean up then the guy really was being unreasonable and actually really unprofessional... it is his job to make customers feel welcome and attend to their various needs...
I would write a brief letter to the chain's head office and let them know that this made you feel unhappy and embarrassed.
I would expect and apology and some cheeky vouchers winging their way to you fairly rapidly!
You could (almost) understand it in a fancy restaurant but frankly if the place welcomes children then they have to be prepared to get some mess.
Jeez...its a buffet so all the staff are there for is to get drinks and clear up!

ApocalypseCheese · 10/10/2010 19:58

Oh and name and shaaame too, he sounds like a twunt.

Hedgeblunder · 10/10/2010 20:04

I think I'm going to be the odd one out here but i've got a feeling there's a bit more to this...
I don't know why a family restaurant chain manager would do such a thing to a regular customer?
Soo many people take their kids to restaurants and treat it like a soft play centre- I'm not saying you did OP but..hmm!

newwave · 10/10/2010 20:05

Random, without a moments hesitation. A bit sqeamish are you.

ravenAK · 10/10/2010 20:10

I suppose I can see them getting a snit on if you & the other mum were knee deep in gaily flung spag bol & visibly finding it hilarious...but an unexceptional amount of mess, which you were readily offering to sweep up yourself?

I think I'd just've paid & pointed out 'We've been over-charged, insulted & made to feel unwelcome; what sort of word-of-mouth do you think we'll be passing on?'

What a berk.

TattyDevine · 10/10/2010 20:11

I have to say if my kids do more than a crust or crumb here or there I tend to do a quick sweep&grab with a baby wipe - its not that they wont then have to sweep anyway (its good practice to do it after each customer regardless of age to make sure there's no crumbs/dirt from their shoes etc) but it sort of shows willing and is slightly apologetic.

Even in McDonalds I do a quick grab of dropped chips Not that I frequent child friendly restaurants, particularly that awful burger one, what's it called, Mc'something, Mac? Mc? I don't know

Hedgeblunder · 10/10/2010 20:11

Am I sqeamish newwave??

Dracschick · 10/10/2010 20:13

At risk of offending everyone.

Im not being deliberately unpleasant but I can see the managers point.

Im a Mum and Ive also worked in a hotel and to be very honest our chidren didnt eat in a restaurant until they were 'old enough' to eat properly- I dont mind the mess my dc make and I would endeavour to clean up any mess they made but if I was eating amongst people without children I can see it would be awkward.

I just thought whilst the dc were small it was fast food/picnics or my own table.

PaulineCampbellJones · 10/10/2010 20:14

If it's a chain I would complain to head office.

wilkos · 10/10/2010 20:17

ridiculous.

however i think its beyond gross when parents let their children make a terrible mess in restaurant high chairs and then make no effort to clear up. i personally think there is only so much clearing up restaurant staff should be prepared to do, and wiping off your childs regurgitated food isnt one of them

its just really really bad manners

RandomMusings · 10/10/2010 20:17

no not squeamish, at all

just amazed at someone admitting to oik-ish shameless behaviour

Original poster
lilasimpson · 10/10/2010 20:17

hedge, as i said, our kids did behave very well apart from food on floor for little ones...no play!! my friend's son just ate everything, but mine were very fussy so ate very little....we wereactually commenting before all this happened how our boys were good today! i did apologized on 2 occasions saying that i would clear before things happened...when told this to manager, he said, we would not let our customer sweep the floor,....i think i will definately write to head office....they were not nice from start as we both had double pushchairs and did not let us choose where we would seat: we anted to leave pushchairs in corner and seat nearer to food as easier to go back and forth....but they would not let us saying how more relaxed it would be if the kids had more space at the back.....

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 10/10/2010 20:19

Me too, RandomMusings.

wilkos · 10/10/2010 20:21

ooh that sounds really prudish Blush

although maybe I am - I can't bear looking at really dirty snotty babies either. well the parents of dirty snotty babies that is

thrifty · 10/10/2010 20:21

ooo, was it red hot?

OrmRenewed · 10/10/2010 20:21

It's funny newwave - I am never rude or aggressive, in fact go out of my way to be pleasant and friendly, and I don't get any shit either. Much easier all round.

ilovesprouts · 10/10/2010 20:22

i take my 3 year old son to toby carvery and he always shares mine food is always over the floor and i pick up after hes eaten it and i dont pay for him !i have no problems there

nancydrewrocked · 10/10/2010 20:27

The trouble with using a babywipe to pick up your toddlers "leftovers" off the floor is you get a vary good idea of just how filthy the floor is

Spookyoldclothcatpuss · 10/10/2010 20:30

I have been a waitress for years, and we have never complained about messy kids to their parents! HOWEVER, there are a lot of parents out there who seem to think it's okay for their kids to trash the place. It's okay to drop things on the floor, it's okay to mess the table up. It is NOT okay to allow your child to mush every last bit of it's food to pulp and systematically throw it over the side of the highchair. It is NOT okay to buy your child a huge slab of chocolate cake and then allow it to eat the icing, crumble the entire cake to pieces and rub it into the fabric of the chair, and it is definitely NOT okay to buy your child pasta, let it eat some, then allow the child to run around the restaurant, putting their saucy hands on the Walls, windows, furniture and other diners!
We were a really child friendly restaurant, we actively invited them in, but this behaviour was a REGULAR occurrence! And we are not talking a seedy town cafe, this is a restaurant in a very posh village, with often very well off clientele!

Rockbird · 10/10/2010 20:33

In a million years I would never dream of not clearing up DD's mess in a restaurant, although we try our hardest not to let her make much of one. In return I ask that restaurants do not tut at her, raise their eyebrows, make snide comments or treat us like a paying inconvenience. It's a two way street.

newwave · 10/10/2010 20:37

Hedge, I very much doubt it.

Random, no not squeamish, at all

"just amazed at someone admitting to oik-ish shameless behaviour"

Random, :o :o It's called standing up for yourself, the abuse normally puts the other person on the back foot whilst reasoned debate is a waste of time with the run of the mill jobsworth. Then again I was nevr waiting for your approval. BTW the op said she "wished she had said it"