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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset at restaurant's manager who told us off because of kids eating messily?

150 replies

lilasimpson · 10/10/2010 18:58

went for lunch today with friends and her kids...so with my two kids (9monts old and 5) there were 4 kids at this buffet restaurant...at the end of dinner, manager came up top me to say that it was ok this time bjt next time we have to be careful with the mess....the big kids were very good...just our little 2...my bb is blw so really messy....i did ask for a broom before he came up to me as i was planning to clear it...also got charged for 2 kids when they shouldnot pay as under 5 or 5...when asked he did say that it was also to pay for wastage....what do u think?

OP posts:

Spookyoldclothcatpuss · 10/10/2010 20:39

Rock, in my restaurant, we would never have commented. They are very professional there. And we always cleaned up. It is a two way street. Restaurant staff are happy to clear up after your children, they dont expect you to do it, but they would like parents to at least make the effort to try to keep the mess down to a minimum.

RandomMusings · 10/10/2010 20:44

at setting out to 'abuse' (your word) someone to get a result

Galena · 10/10/2010 20:47

Can't say my DD, 18 months, has ever warranted a broom to clear up after her either! I've found using a pelican bib helps a lot (forgot it today and just had a normal bib and the amount of egg sandwich I had to clear up surprised me! DD had decided to use a fork to eat it though!!). Alternatively, take a moses basket sheet with you and spread it out under the highchair so you can clear up easily afterwards!

scruffymuff · 10/10/2010 20:47

YABU

This restaurant are undoubtedly used to families.

The fact that the management and the staff at the restaurant commented on, and felt the need to charge you extra indicates that the mess you made was well beyond what is normally expected.

Honeydragon · 10/10/2010 20:48

The staff in our local pizza express always tell me off for cleaning up after the kids, well dd who is 9 months. They have said time and time again that the mess from the most badly behaved toddler is nothing compared to what they have to deal with from all female groups such as hen parties. They hate them. I still pick up the floor and wipe of the high chair and table though.

So based on that UANBU you offered to clear up and were declined....tell all your single friends to organise their hen nights there instead.

But I'm with Saggyclthpuss, I think parents who do let their children do all of the aforementioned running, smearing and dropping horrible. I hated it as a waitress as food is meant to be social and a pleasure for all concerned, and they are obviously not teaching this to their children.

Also if it is the chain I am thinking of I went there on a works do once and my boss decided to push a colleague into their chocolate fountain .... and they didn't charge us extra, and they still welcomed us back the next time we visited

newwave · 10/10/2010 20:49

Random, let me try again.

If (imo) another person either takes the piss (very oikish that word) or tries to get one over on me I will (almost) always react in an sgressive manner. If I am at fault I will always apologise.

I (almost) always treat others as they treat me.

moomaa · 10/10/2010 20:51

Hmmm, if I have read this right I think you were a bit cheeky to go to a buffet restaurant with 4 kids and 2 adults and expect all the kids to eat for free. It is the restaurant's fault for having that policy though I guess.

I imagine the restaurant owner was cheesed off that a table and crockery/cutlery for 6 was used and needed to be cleaned afterwards but only 2 paying people. Did you at least buy all the kids a drink?

TattyDevine · 10/10/2010 20:54

"my boss decided to push a colleague into their chocolate fountain"

Now that's a type of harrassment in the workplace I'd like to be a victim of

Original poster

lilasimpson · 10/10/2010 21:16

thanks all for your comments...i chose that restaurant because it was big and spacious, had lots of finger foods, which was good for fussy eaters...that maybe cheecky as we were the only adults paying but our kids had drinks, so did we....4 plus a big bottle of water...i generally come there and clean up afterwards all the time and alwways tip them...so i don't think i m taking the piss...i do understand your points when it comes to parents not clearing after theire child and letting them run around and be noisy but i reiterate, we were not noisy!!! as just thought that this restaurant would have been good as it is hard enough to take 2 kids out on your own and the space was good....scruffy muff, the mess was not that bad i guarantee you, i would have cleared it very quickly, which is what i always do at home...i do not go out very often with the kids for lunch as i know this could be messy, but really treated this as a treat for my friend and i who had to cope without hubbies....!

OP posts:

cumfy · 10/10/2010 21:16

Random

And another thing; newwave is far too modest to point out that she and the rest of her family are, of course, more than happy to be cornered aggressively and told to go fuck themselves.

After all those people would just be standing up for themselves.
And she has pointed out that she will simply apologise in such circumstances.

Can hardly say fairer than that....can you.

newwave · 10/10/2010 23:42

Cunfy, tut tut, all i said is that when I am in the wrong I will always apologise and for that matter accept the apologies of those that wrong me.

Can hardly say fairer than that....can you.

JoBettany · 11/10/2010 00:06

Sounds like a very strange way to behave newwave.

Have you thought about relaxation exercises or massage? It's very calming......

cory · 11/10/2010 00:08

personally I would have saved the blw for home as you hint that your dd is very messy and done the restaurant meal with a spoon and a pelican bib

huddspur · 11/10/2010 00:12

YABU the resteraunt is probably used to families with small children so your dc must have made a substantial mess.

fortyplus · 11/10/2010 00:16

newwave - I rarely make personal comments on here but you sound thoroughly obnoxious.

Perhaps you should ask yourself why so many others have commented that your aggressive attitude is so unpleasant.

Or alternatively tell me to go fuck myself...

TitsalinaBumSquash · 11/10/2010 00:20

I was in Pizza Hut a while ago and a waitress dropped a whole Smoothie over me, I was covered even my underware was soaked and stained.
The manager was so unproffesional he shouted at the waitress and made her look like an idiot, I didn't mind I have been a waitress and know accidents happen, I didn't want compensation or anything like that. I cleaned myself off and ate my meal. Managers can be a holes.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 11/10/2010 00:20

cat64 · 11/10/2010 00:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ducknipples · 11/10/2010 01:19

i was a waitress part time for four years at pizza hut, while i was at uni. we expected children to make some mess, they are kids for god's sake, but some parents really did let it go too far, usually when buffet was on for some reason. literally a carpet of food under and around the table, not to mention on the table, spilled drinks, napkins ripped to shreds, crayon scribbled all over high chairs and tables... i still can't remember an instance where a manager ever 'had a word' or charged them extra, although there was some definite bitching by the waitresses having to crawl around under the table after they'd left...

titsalina, unfortunately customers as nice as you were few and far between! the number of people who would pull out one of their own hairs and 'find' it on the last slice of pizza, and then demand the entire meal for free was just unbelievable!

so, considering the OP was nowhere near this bad, think he was pretty OTT!

bit long-winded there, sorry!

Rachyandmeg · 11/10/2010 02:27

If the place accepts kids then they should understand that children make a mess.
If you were going to clean it up when they had finished which I feel is the right thing to do. (Some mother dont do this and I think its rude) As you said you were doing then I dont see the waitress had any point whatsoever to make.
You should not have had to pay if their policy was kids go free. You deserve a refund.

Dont bother with that place again.

Original poster

lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 08:01

i did say on 3 occasions i would clear it...asking for a broom and none of them seemed to bother...i know i should probably not have let dd feed there but brought one pouch from ella's kitchem with me...she just was keen to try new foods on that day and as she is fussy normally i let her...believe me feeding 2 fussy eaters at once is not easy....

OP posts:

Original poster

lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 08:03

cat64, this was a buffet restaurant, not posh! this is probably the poshest i went with my kids!

OP posts:

MmeBodyInTheBasement · 11/10/2010 08:11

Write to the head office. If they do not reply then name and shame.

Children are messy, that is a fact of life. Since your children were not smearing tomato sauce on the walls, and you offered to clean up the mess that they made, then the manager was being incredibly unreasonable to charge you for "wastage".

If they offer free meals for under 5yo then they are actively encouraging families to eat there so they have to allow for a bit of mess.

Original poster

lilasimpson · 11/10/2010 08:16

i have done so last night....thank u foor your support...felt quite bad after incident....

OP posts:

Dracschick · 11/10/2010 08:59

Tits(now theres somethings I never thought would be the first word in any reply on here ).....when I was working in a hotel/retaurant I carried out a full tray of roast beef lunches .....on passing a plate to a very handsome young man I dropped a red hot roast potato into his lap ,unfortunately he was wearing shorts ..........I did the first thing that came into my head.....grabbed the meat fork and dived in to stab the potato away.

Fortunately he saw the funny side and thanked me for my prompt reaction.

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