DD has requested I ask you lot to judge whether I am unreasonable or whether sh is.

[FerrisBueller]

DD is 14. She isa sensible nice person. We live in a nice sensible quiet place.

Saturday is the annual fair. DD thinks it is reasonable for her to stay out until 10pm. I think it is too late, that fairs attract weirdos and by 10pm drunk people.

She would be with a group of friends who all live locally.

Her latest plan to thwart my unreasonableness is to sleep at her friends house after the fair. Her friend is also nice and sensible but her parent is even more lax than I am (I am fairly lax nomally).

I think this is a ploy to stay out late despite my wishes.

Consider also these girls are all 14 and dress like hookers teenagers do these days.

So I say No. She will not be staying out past 9pm and she will not be sleeping at her friends house.

AIBU?

I would let her go. Yabu x

bugger. really? 14? 10pm? fair night? weirdys and drunks?

Hello Ferris and JrFerris!

Could you possibly split the difference and agree to 9:30 with a sleepover at your house so you can enforce the time?

That would be my plan! :)

I would let her tbh but I'm not going to say you are being unreasonable because when my DD is 14 I probably won't let her out of the house!

YABU.

It's not nice being the only one of your friends to be treated as untrustworthy.

Make sure she sleeps at home but DO let her stay out until 10.

I went to a fair at 14 and got so drunk policemen had to carry me to my friend's parents' car YANBU but then I wasn't a sensible nice person so maybe YABU

9.30 sounds good.

it is your responsability to make sure she is safe on saturday night and thta is what you must do...

I have a sensible 14yr old dd, and think I'd say 10pm is ok, but certainly no later.

Do you mean home by 10pm? I would possibly agree to that and is she wants to stay at friends house stipulate she call you from there at 10pm to prove she has been as responsible as she states she is.

I don't have teenage DDs, just little boys but could you possibly meet in the middle and let her stay out til 9.30pm and collect her to save her walking home/ staying at mates?

If it were me I'd probably allow her out til 10 if she was in a big group provided she text me every so often and I collected her at the end of the night.

YABU I would let her

seems okay to me - I was allowed out at that age until 10pm and for sleepovers (lived in back arse of beyond and my parents didn't want to trap me at home OR have to be taxi drivers every weekend). Maybe you could lurk in suspicious fashion at fair to keep an eye on her

I guess you have to give her the benefit of the doubt - but I would not let her sleep over at a friends - that old chestnut!

I would say 10pm and if she's more than 10 mins late - you will be coming looking for her and you will really embarass her!!

I think if you're worrying about what time she's out til, stopping at her mates is prob not a good idea

You could compromise and let her out til 9.30? I know it's not much different, but like you say, at 10 you're getting into pub time.

It'll also show a bit of willing on both sides.

Although saying this, I started drinking behind my parents back at 14, not that your DDs the same, but it all starts to go a bit weird for some at around this time.

I would go for the 10 pm but staying at your house.

Then set up security cordon around fair perimeter.

neither of you are bu
you need to compromise.
9.30 but sleepover at your house.or
10 oclock and no sleep over

I agree with tainted. Good plan!

Wouldn't say YABU but neither is your DD.

Can you compromise at stay out until 10 but sleepover at your house so you can ensure that she is home?

Nope. I wouldn't let her, but I am horrible.

Massive x posts with my one finger typing!

I would let her go but take the opportunity to talk about the rules of being out with friends ie sticking together no matter what happens and what she would do if something did happen she didn't like/feel comfortable with.

9.30 but you collect her and her friends for sleepover at yours? Allowed to stay up later at home with DVD and junk food...happy compromise? :) I don't think I'd be happy either with her idea either tbh! YANBU

YANBU.

You are the parent and this is what you feel is right. She is a child.

OK, I say this as someone not yet blessed with a teenage daughter... I would let her stay out till ten provided she comes home and leaves the house in a reasonable outfit less likely to make her look like a hooker. Would that work?