DD has requested I ask you lot to judge whether I am unreasonable or whether sh is.

[FerrisBueller]

DD is 14. She isa sensible nice person. We live in a nice sensible quiet place.

Saturday is the annual fair. DD thinks it is reasonable for her to stay out until 10pm. I think it is too late, that fairs attract weirdos and by 10pm drunk people.

She would be with a group of friends who all live locally.

Her latest plan to thwart my unreasonableness is to sleep at her friends house after the fair. Her friend is also nice and sensible but her parent is even more lax than I am (I am fairly lax nomally).

I think this is a ploy to stay out late despite my wishes.

Consider also these girls are all 14 and dress like hookers teenagers do these days.

So I say No. She will not be staying out past 9pm and she will not be sleeping at her friends house.

AIBU?

How about she stays until 10 pm but you collect her ? Could offer to give friends lifts home too, or arrange sleepover at yours so she doesn't feel she is missing out.

I'd let her go too. If you don't she will do it anyway, by hook or by crook.

I sooo remember the 'staying at a friend's house' ruse. I won't tell you what I was getting up to at 14 in my very nice safe middle class neighbourhood! But I never came to any danger.

My Dd 14, can stay out till 10 for a special occasion, but she has very sensible mates who make sure each one gets home ok, I would let her go but ask her to phone you from mates house to let you know she is safe.

YABU ...let her out till 10

Compromise is the kids all sleep at yours from whatever time you feel is acceptable to be out until.

what taintedpaint said

YANBU...

For what it's worth, my 'nice local fair' in my 'nice local town' definitely does not stay nice and sweet past dark. I'd go with the sleepover at your house plan. There's always a lot of drama at Carnival time and there's always a lot of 'sleeping over at so-and-so's house' who has the very lax parent.

I think if your daughter has proven herself in the past, by being a nice sensible girl, you should let her stay out until 10pm. She has been honest about where she wants to go and what time she wants to be home; could easily have told a fib!

I remember desperately wanting to stay at the rollarena until 10pm and was the only one who wasn't allowed to.. sigh.... 'Twas heartbreaking.

If she has earned your trust to date, I think she has the right to the later curfew. Could you come pick her up and make sure she has a mobile and knows to call in case of fair going weirdos?

i also judge on what I was like at 14 DD is much more sensible that I was.

Bugger - The concensus appears I am being unreasonable.

Perhaps home by 10 and no sleepover or friends back at ours. Maybe. Perhaps.

Agree I think a 14 year old could stay out to 10,

and I had very strict parents I had to be home at 11.30 until I moved out, when I came home at 11.50 on my 21st birthday my dad didn't speak to me for days, even though my brothered happily rolled in at 3am

Yabu

It really isn't worth a rebellion over an hour imho.

Personally I wouldn't let a 14 year old out at a fair until 10. I certainly wouldn't have been allowed. This was my curfew when I was 15/16.

You are the parent. Do what you think is reasonable for your DD. Obviously she will try and push it, thats what they do but I don't agree with letting her stay out just because she will be the only one of her friends that isn't allowed to.

I had lots of sleepovers at friends, that was the best part of the night!

'DD is much more sensible that I was'

Really? Are you sure? (sorry Ferriss lovely DD )

Also agree with the idea of 9.30 compromise, with friend staying at yours.

This sounds fair for 14yr old on a Saturday night.

If friend stays with you, you know they are home safe. Also DD will have some one to leave with, so won't be the only one having to be in 'early'.

YANBU...I got smashed at that age...no idea of safety and lots of predators after me...only because my mates were 16 and 17 was I ok.

I agree with 9.30 and a sleepover at yours or no sleepover at all.

I wouldn't allow it. I think 9pm is reasonable for a 14 year old. i like the idea of having her friend stay over and they can watch DVDs/have takeaway at your house.

I also remember the old sleepover ruse, went to an all-night party instead and was so drunk that I blacked out

this was way before mobile phones though so it was much easier to lie

so I would say let her stay out till 10pm but be very clear that you mean 10 and not a minute over

Let her go, but cause merry hell if she is a minute late.

(Though bear in mind it will be bloody cold, and probably very dull, so she'll likely be home by 8 )

I would let her stay out til 10 and allow sleepover BUT
make her call from the other parents landline as proof she's back, with the warning that if it's a minute later you'll drive up in your most embarrassing nightwear and call her snugglebum in front of her friends

sleepover at ours has been vetoed. not enough room for 4 of them unfortunately.

if i give in and let her sleep at friends i will be phoning their home number to make sure they are in.

or mayeb let her stay out til 10 but has to be at home by then? oh i don't know.

i'm working but will be home by 10ish. dh will be at home with DD2

I'd let her go and then sleep over at your house (not at friends with lax parents!). Agree on an outfit if you're worried about that...it's October and it's outside...make her wear a duffel coat!

YANBU at all! I have a 14 yo DD and there is NO WAY I would let her go out on a Saturday evening to the fair at all, let alone until 10pm and I am pretty easygoing. Fairs are, as you say, dodgy places at the best of time and doubly so on a Saturday night.