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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this comment about C sections annoying

141 replies

whoneedssleepanyway · 06/10/2010 17:43

my friend and his wife are expecting their first baby which they conceived naturally after a number of IVF attempts.

he told me the other day that she will probably have a C section as her uterus is an unusual shape and they are seeing the consultant in a few weeks who will decide if she can have one.

he then said, she will be pretty gutted if she can't have a C section as everything with the pregnancy has gone smoothly to this point and it will just be better to have a C section....

it is none of my business and up to them but i found this assumption that a C section was somehow better and safer a bit naive.....

AIBU?

OP posts:
blueshoes · 06/10/2010 22:37

The quote below was from sloany.

Haliborange · 06/10/2010 22:43

There are risks of both surely? It's just about which set of risks you personally find more paletable (assuming that you get to choose).

My girls were both born by emcs, and not to get all competitive but I find the whole thing amazing. If it was even 100 years ago I wouldn't have them or I might be dead too. If childbirth is an "everyday miracle" then my girls are a teeny bit more miraculous.Wink

scottishmummy · 06/10/2010 22:49

yes both have risks,informed clinical judgement should inform choices,not what yer mate thinks,or the birth class,or some burd off the telly

lucky1979 · 06/10/2010 22:56

I had a elective CS, it was an extremely easy, positive experience. My consultant had said, rather doubtfully, that I MIGHT be able to give birth naturally, and if I was keen to try then he would support that, but I was very happy about the idea of a CS wich I could plan for rather than going through a vaginal birth which had a high likelyhood of going wrong and ending up with an emergency CS anyway.

YAB totally U to be annoyed by this.

lucky1979 · 06/10/2010 22:57

Likelihood
Oooops.

withorwithoutyou · 06/10/2010 23:12

It always makes me chuckle when people criticise ELCS because it's usually for one or other of two totally contradictory reasons:

  1. it's the easy option

  2. it's not an easy option

Anenome · 07/10/2010 00:00

Due to the IVF which is very invasive and stressful they probably want to enjoy and relax now....that's fine.

loveinsuburbia · 07/10/2010 00:03

I am really against the medicalisation of childbirth in our society today. I am really pro-natural childbirth and all that other hippy nonsense, but ... 'normal' birth in an NHS hospital is often so far from normal and so much can go wrong with that approach that actually, yeah I do sympathise and understand this couple's view to a large degree. It's not my view and I get why it irks you, but I figure that if I want people to respect my choices then I have to respect theirs. I strongly believe a woman's right to choices about their labour, but that has to apply to someone who wants a c-section just as much as it does to me who chose to labour at home. I do think YAB a little U to consider them naive. I think it's sad that birth has been so fucked up in so many ways that we're at the point we're at now, but we are and therefore parents have to make the best choices they can within a pretty messed up system.

duchesse · 07/10/2010 00:12

Depends on the circs.

For my 4th baby, a CS was definitely the safest option as the alternative was fairly quick death for my baby and potentially more lingering one for me.

All other babies born nature's route.

My sister has now had 3 trials of labour and 4 sections (last one was planned CS). Her body just doesn't kick the little buggers out effectively.

duchesse · 07/10/2010 00:15

And pssst! On the whole the CS was a lot quicker to recover from than the 3 nature's route births. Far better post-birth pain relief for a start (paracetamol+voltarol+morphine yum yum) and a lot of help and solicitousness.

thecaptaincrocfamily · 07/10/2010 00:22

No YANBU! It is major abdominal surgery with all the risks of surgery

infection
bleeding
embolism
scar rupture
hernia later
cardiac arrest
allergic reactions to drugs
immobility for a while (trying to juggle a baby!)

No he is definately a plank! Sad

Anenome · 07/10/2010 00:26

Well....birth bloody hurts...a lot...bollix to the natural shit. Slash me open and pop them out any day....I have had 2 sections...one emergency and one planned...first one was after 40 hour failed labour....never again thanks.

thecaptaincrocfamily · 07/10/2010 00:39

Anemone- I had a 38hr first labour followed by a failed epidural = me feeling them doing the first incision on my skin and being rapidly put under GA, then followed 9 months of depression/post traumatic stress. Needless to say I attempted a second vaginal delivery with my second dd, which also ended in a section. However, given the options I would choose a BVAC any day!

Anenome · 07/10/2010 07:26

thecapraincrocfamily Good for you!

sarah293 · 07/10/2010 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Anenome · 07/10/2010 08:15

Yes Riven...me too! Grin

Anenome · 07/10/2010 08:16

Gosh Riven....I never saw the bit about the brain damage...so sorry!

Fiddledee · 07/10/2010 08:26

YABVU my second pregnancy I had all sorts of complications and thought DS would have to be delivered early several times - I just wanted my baby out safe and sound, it would have been unlikely that I would have had a success VBAC but I didn't want to try I was desperate to see my son. My planned c-section recovery was so much better than the emergency I had the first time round.

You are being very judgemental.

Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 07/10/2010 08:39

I know I was being judgey and I have not uttered an opinion one way or other I wouldn't it is their choice. I must admit I hadn't thought of the precious baby thing and they have had a rough ride so prob v true but it just irked me a bit the way he was so categoric that c section is best almost guaranteed safety.

OP posts:
withorwithoutyou · 07/10/2010 08:49

Well he's probably defensive like that because people like you are judging him.

Why not try being supportive?

Shelly32 · 07/10/2010 09:02

C-section should be a choice and not one that self-righteous 'I've suffered through 26 hours of labour and it never hurt me, in fact it was the most worthwhile thing i've ever done' mums should be able to jude other on. I didn't have to have a C section with my twins but it was safer for them. Of course i'm going to do what is best for my children. The 4 hours of labour i did suffer through was enough to convince me that C sections are kinder to all unless you are obese or have some kind of medical condition that would hinder recovery from CS. Medical advances are great. You wouldn't go to the dentist and have a filling without anaesthetic. Why is it that women are expected to suffer through unbelievable pain in 'natural' child birth? If you choose to put yourself through that that is your choice but don't look down on the many women who don't want to suffer. It doesn't make you a better person or a better mum just because you have conformed to what is a cruel, unnecessary and outdated process

Original poster
whoneedssleepanyway · 07/10/2010 09:05

Did u not read what I said I have not made any comment to them about their preferred form of delivery. He is the kind of person who just tells u stuff.

OP posts:
Shelly32 · 07/10/2010 09:18

If you don't like the answers you get, that don't always have to stick directly to your question, then don't ask them. Why are u letting what he 'tells you' bother you so much anyway? Get on with your life and your children.

Olifin · 07/10/2010 09:23

Shelly, it's a shame you think giving birth vaginally is 'a cruel, unnecessary and outdated process'

That wasn't my experience of it at all.

Shelly32 · 07/10/2010 09:28

It's not a 'shame' that i think that by any stretch. That's your perogative. To me, the 4 hours of pain was the worst i've ever experienced. Maybe consider whether the end result has coloured your experience. If not then good for you.As i said,if women choose to have 'natural' or CS, it's up to them and i'm happy for you that your 'natural' birth went well.