To think Twilight is the most boring pile of old drivel...

[Spookyoldclothcatpuss]

I've ever had the misfortune to read!
I've stuck with it, because everyone loves them, but crikey. I've eaten jam sandwiches with more plot!
Don't get me wrong, I know it's more for teenagers, but dear God, I'm halfway through the third book, and bugger all has happened!

Gosh, Reality, I didn't know you;d been banged up with John McCarthy and Brian Keenan as well.

For t'is the only reason I can think of for having read them twice....being locked up in a Beirut cellar and them being the only books....mind, I'd have probably used 'em for wiping my arse before I'd read them twice.

The Chuckle Brothers aren't dead.

I went to uni with a woman whose sister was married to one of them. She looked like she'd had a hard life.

It's not as if it takes very long to read them twice

I enjoyed the first three books actually but hated the last one. The things I really want to know are:

How the hell did Edward have sperm??

The Isle of Esme - wtf?

Why the Volturi were a bunch of girls blouses in the end?

It takes FAR too long to read them twice. Even 5 minutes is too long out of my life.

Spooky - OK, maybe more than a few places. But I am still curiously in thrall to the whole thing, despite being an otherwise sensible professional woman who's old enough to know better ...

The books are ok but have you seen the films ??

They are BAD.

I really love all of your negative feedback. Do any of you want to read my book? It's just what I need.

I was debating reading Twilight, but I won't now..
You write belle?

I've been writing childrens books, I've finished 8, I can't find anyone who's willing to upset me by giving me honest feedback though, I can't see where I'm going wrong without it.

I watched the first Twilight, it wasn't great.

Length? I can see why people would be wary of being your 'editor' if you've got that many!
I do want to see the films for the entertainment factor :)

They are short, for 5-7 year olds. Around 2.5k. I only need one looking at, I can use the criticism to change the others. Not exactly twilight length.

I could read and be a bitch, but I know very little of 5-7 yr olds so not sure if it would be any use. :) Someone who has (or has had) 5-7 yr olds would probably be more constructive.

I know alot of people with children that age, they love it which really isn't helpful. I need someone to point out the crap grammar, the parts that don't flow etc. I can take it!

Ohh, thank you.

Eww. If he's a vampire then it's going to stink of old blood isn't it? (feels a little sick now)