To think Twilight is the most boring pile of old drivel...

[Spookyoldclothcatpuss]

I've ever had the misfortune to read!
I've stuck with it, because everyone loves them, but crikey. I've eaten jam sandwiches with more plot!
Don't get me wrong, I know it's more for teenagers, but dear God, I'm halfway through the third book, and bugger all has happened!

At least Horror is the right section for it, if not for the correct reason...

MotherofHobbit - well I have some female friends who are a long way off their teens who think Edward is a wonderful romantic hero. So I dread to think what most 15 yos make of it.

I thought that Bella worked out he was a vampire after the werewolf one told her?

I totally agree about it being a Mary-Sue. In fact, fanfic writers have probably made a better job of writing in the Twiverse than Meyer did.

I saw a pregnant lady a few days ago, wearing a t-shirt saying, "Edward's Baby."

I nearly vomited.

Oh god they are AWFUL, these books.

I couldn't believe what I was reading tbh. She moves in with her dad (after he has lived alone for 16 or so years) and immediately starts doing the laundry and cooking.

Also, hated the bit where he got his sister to keep her away from the werewolf guy 'for her own safety'.

Now, I know it is takimg it a bit seriously, but would hate to think of a 15 year old girl putting up with a controlling boyfriend under the misguided impression that it is 'true lurve' as in this daft book.

Tried to read the 4th one, just to finish it off, but LOATHED it without fail, Bella gets pregnant, the daft vamp baby bites her as soon as it is born, and then Bella is a vampire. Plus they called the baby Renesmee. RENESMEE.

Fuck knows what happened after that, just hope it involved a load of napalm.

GOML, it actually get's worse after Renesmee.

Hard to believe, I know, but it does.

Oh I can totally imagine having the hots for Edward if I were a teenager.

Actually I was a bit shocked to see the "Dead as" (True Blood) novels in the Teen section of Sainsburys the other day. Would you say they were teen reading...I know I wouldnt want my teens to read them.

YANBU at all! I fucking hate twilight. The "relationship" shows signs of being an abusive one for starters! I am interested in how they get the 4th book onto film without it becoming an 18 though. That birth scene is horrific!

Is that really what they called the baby?
Did it bite her? Don't blame it.
There was deffo some weirdy incestuous thing going on with the sister as well.
Maybe it was the boringfart werewolf whingebag who told her about Edward....(have tried to block it out of my head) I know it was done in a crap way though.

YANBU. I couldn't believe the lack of plot. I guess if my expectations had been lower (i.e. the entire world wasn't raving about it) I would have enjoyed it a bit, but I was really expecting an absolute masterpiece.

Saying that, it only took me about a week to read (four?) books, so it wasn't exactly a big waste of my life.

wtf with her Dad?

And her mother? The irony of Bella looking down on her mother for being a hopeless 'can't get by without a man' type.

Well I liked it, obviously I'm just young at heart

and the baby doesnt turn Bella by biting her

must admit I am interested in seeing film 4 and how they will do it, prob just miss it out seeing as thats what films do, cut huge bits of books out.

not read the books but saw the first 2 movies on the plane. I can see why young girls love them but they are cringey/creepy for older women/non teens - or so I thought until my friend got so excited at the new one coming out. There are loads of ahemm, older ladies out there who love it and would have Ed's babies tomorrow!

Ditch the Twilight books by Meyer and find some Twilight fanfic - huge huge improvement on the story/characters

lol at 'did it bite her? Don't blame it'.

The film will be pretty gruesome. And the fucking baby will look ghastly.

Noh, she turned into a vamp by someone else biting her didn't she? The vile baby just bit her for fun iirc.

Lol, though.

Bucharest. With the incest thing I think you are hoping for things the plot couldn't possibly deliver! I'm glad of the spoiler. It means I won't have to bother now! Could you imagine the mumsnet thread?:
Aibu to want to be with him forever?
I have met an amazing bloke. He is soo handsome. (well apart from his very dubious eyebrows, but that's kind of a movie thing.)
Trouble is, he is obsessed with his family and they all have this tendency to hurt people and animals. He wants to take me away from my family and friends so I can be with him. he sneaks into my house every night to watch me sleep, and he has made his family keep me prisoner whilst he was away so I couldn't see a friend he hates! I just keep going back for more because I love him!

The end of the last book is just a bunch of vampires twatting about in a field for ages having a chat.

It's wank.

I was waiting for them all to just kick the shit out of each other and get it over with. No such luck.

Does Bella die in the end? From being hit very hard (by the baby) with a shit-stained stick?

No

Thinking that creepy boys are romantic just because they are pretty (ugly guys are just creepy, natch) is what 17 year old girls do, unfortunately.

So then, link us to some quality fanfics - I can't be bothered to wade through the inevitable sludgepools of crap to find the islands of good writing.

I love Twilight I agree it is really badly written in places, the plot is a bit weedy sometimes, it's anti-feminist, and Edward is a horrible sinister control freak (read Midnight Sun if you don't believe me!!). BUT there's something about the series ... I can't quite explain it, perhaps some kind of zeitgeisty thing. I am still trying to put my finger on it so that I can invent a similar series and make a fortune

Oh yes TeamE, it has all come screaming back to me now.