to like someone less because their political views revolt me

[yellowflowers]

A friend has got more and more right wing. It's depressing because when we met years ago as students we bonded over being lefties and in favour of helping those less fortunate and we both enjoyed debating issues. I still like debating things and don't need all my friends to think the same as me - far from it - but the more I hear of this person's views the less I think they are someone I want to spend time with because her views on poor people and on state education etc offend me. Is it wrong to see less of someone just for this reason?

I can't be friends with people whose political/social views disgust me

your views and values inform all your everyday interaction and behaviour, it's not something you can separate out from the person's personality - "oh, she's lovely and kind and accepting but she hates Jews", or "He's very fair-minded and believes in equal opportunities for all, but his kids are at a private prep school"

not in my opinion, anyway. I have no time for people whose views are repellent.

YABU, a friend of my partner is a great fellow, will help (mostly) anybody and is a charming man but he has very racist views (which he is entitled to have). I can like him without agreeing with him.

We all have views that others might not like, I dont like religion and public schools and cats in my garden :o

Dont let their intolerence make you intolerent

What Greensleeves said. I have a friend who is also getting more and more right-wing. He works for a bank and some of the things he says about people who've got into trouble with debt, disgust me. It's made me re-examine our friendship.

just how right wing is she?
is it that she thinks Mrs Thatcher didn't go far enough? Or is it that she voted for Tony Blair?

OP - you can choose whoever you want as a friend and for whatever reasons.

Greensleeves - what? I am fair-minded but my DS is at Prep school. So what? Is there something I'm missing with your argument on this point?

the op asked whether we could be friends with people whose views we found repellent

my view on private education aren't a secret, nor are they particularly unusual

and I don't have, and wouldn't have, any close friends who send their children to fee-paying schools

Greensleeves - I am SO sorry I don't meet your standards of friendship.

Well I for one would have no friends left if I dropped all of those whose children are privately educated!I do not agree with money buying a better education and my friends are aware of this but what you are proposing is a bit drastic1

I just don't know anyone whose children are at private schools whose views on education don't rile me and piss me off!

I didn't think it was that unusual to be anti private education. I doubt those people would want me as a friend either, given my dim view of their choices

but I don't have many friends anyway and am not much fun, so you're not missing much.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone, just answering the question

Am I reading a different thread?!

This isn't about private education, it's about whether or not the OP is being unreasonable to like someone less because of their political viewpoints.

Reading comprehension FAIL, or what?!

Newwave presumably he will help (mostly) anyone as long as they're not black? That's not enormously charming is it? More bloody repellent in fact.

OP I don't see how you could possibly not feel that your friendship was on shaky ground under the circumstances.

I can be friends (but probably not close friends) with people whose views are to the right of mine (I'm pretty far to the left), but could not be friends with bigots such as racists, homophobes, etc. I certainly think less of people who have intolerant attitudes.

Greensleeves, that wasn't aimed at you, it was aimed at the posters who decided to throw their toys out of the pram and hit you with them.

Yanbu. I have unfriended people because of political views.

In case I wasn't clear, I couldn't be friends with someone who had repellent political views though.

YANBU friends don't have to be identikit versions of you but if there is a fendimental difference in your beliefs on a number of topics, it is easy to see how that could cause friction in a friendship. I imagine it is especially hard as their views have changed over the years. I suppose the question is, do you value this person enough as a friend to ignore the things you don't like about them?

I think it depends on the views ,i had a friend who was a hunt sab and i used to go to the hunt ball and had a few hunting friends ,i didnt personally hunt as im not a very good rider ! We got on fine aslong as we didnt discuss the topic .

Oh my god, I'm thinking about private education for dc, does this mean I'm going to lose all friends who do not educate privately?
How far do you take it? Do I disown friends who have private medical cover, etc etc?
I can't comment on political view as all my friends are on the lefty spectrum,

SerialMom, unfriended - is that online or in real life?

I have some friends with different political views but my closest friends probaby have opinions closer to mine, and I think if I found myself biting my tongue too much with someone who had been a friend I'd want to spend less time with her/him.

DialM, its not black people but those from the sub continent he dislikes hence he is a charming and helpful person to all but them.

Interesting topic. I can be friends with people who have different political views to mine, i.e. ideologically they believe in a different approach to running a country/society. But like ByTheSea I couldn't be friends with bigots i.e. racists, homophobes, etc. and I do think less of people with those attitudes.

I really enjoy a good political debate with some of my friends though, it's not necessary to believe the same things to get along, in fact it can make life interesting.

There's a line though, and I couldn't go over it - revolt is a strong word, and if I found someone's views (or even worse, someone's actions as a result of those views) revolted me, then no way could I think of them as someone I could respect.

D

My friends are left and right - mostly left tending but all generally liberal. We have been welcomed in our new place bya very helpful and kind bloke who turned out to have massively racist homophobic views. He's not a friend and never really would have been but I found his views so shocking I nearly insisted he never came near us again. But instead I keep talking and make it very plain that 'I'm afraid I will never be able to agree with you on this and this is why....' Probably why he has elected not to come round again, although of course I am civil to him.

Would find it hard if a real friend had stridently opposing views.

Think the idea that left and right can't be friends though is ridiculous. I know two MPs - one very high profile - and they are mates with people across the floor. They think it's easier than being mates with the back stabbers in their own parties tbh.

I find it difficult to be close friends with someone who has political views that are completely different from mine, for the reasons state by Greeny.