to like someone less because their political views revolt me

[yellowflowers]

A friend has got more and more right wing. It's depressing because when we met years ago as students we bonded over being lefties and in favour of helping those less fortunate and we both enjoyed debating issues. I still like debating things and don't need all my friends to think the same as me - far from it - but the more I hear of this person's views the less I think they are someone I want to spend time with because her views on poor people and on state education etc offend me. Is it wrong to see less of someone just for this reason?

I didn't say I didn't enjoy myself

I love my friends and am very loyal

my lack of ability to make friends has more to do with longstanding deporession/anxiety/shite health than with my views

but thanks for the tip:)

Newwave seriously that's ok for you in a friend? Lovely guy, hates Indians? I'd rather grate my face off than spend time with someone like that and there's a little bit of me that thinks that if you can tolerate racism it's probably because you're a bit racist. No, d'you know what? It's quite a big bit of me.

We had an Avon lady who used to come with a catalogue (my two girls loved the stuff!) but when I saw she has BNP poster in her window I stopped her coming.
She's entitled to her opinion but I couldn't continue to buy things from her.

My kids used to go to a private school, they now go to a comprehensive school. Am I supposed to suddenly drop my old school friends? How about the parents at the comprehensive school, should they shun me because of where my children were educated at primary level?

I didn't say you were "supposed to" do anything, I answered the question on my own behalf.

Well, I wonder if your friend isn't also wondering the same thing yellowflowers?

Thing is, a lot of us as students were socialists, and life seemed black and white back then. I even joined the SWP and regularly fought with my father for voting Tory.

Now I am older, have different concerns and beliefs, life has changed me. I now vote Tory, ds goes to state school, but nothing to do with supporting the local school. It's oversubscribed anyway. I just cannot afford private fees right now. I would love to think the state offered a world class education, but the evidence says otherwise. A friend from my student days hung the phone up on me last year during a debate about the election. I was bemused. But each to their own. I did wonder if friends cope deal with these opposing beliefs, as they are really quite fundamental.

Anyhow, my friend got back in touch recently, only took a year to calm down and get it in perspective! She had reason to go to court, and the local labour councillor let her down repeatedly. She confessed the Tory counsellor from the next town took up her case and helped her immensly, so it was ok to be friends with the likes of me

Honestly, I have bigger things to worry about.

Greensleeves- wanna be friends?

I feel exactly the same.

ok

sorry, not cope, could

Who-wants-to-play.... mummies-and-daddies...

Sorry I just have to clear something up perfumedlife: the evidence is that giventhe same pupil starting points the state system teaches FAR better than the private system - and who trains all those teachers anyway? - the gains in the private system are down to smaller class sizes. :)

Greensleeves I think some posters (myself included) don't like being bracketed by you in the same group as racists and homophobes simply because we might vote Tory or support the choice to have a private education.

I couldn't be friends with an extreme right winger,but then I couldn't be friends with an extremist left-winger either.

Racists,sexists,and homophobes are out without a doubt. As are snobs,but also those who are reverse snobs.

I do find it a little odd that people would discount others as potential friends simply because they vote for an opposing,yet mainstream,party,and because they go to private school,but I suppose that some of the issues that are important to me,seem like non issues to others.

Agree bigfoot and LetThereBeRock. Narrow-mindedness and intolerant (and to some people offensive) attitudes don't just come from the far right, and I have difficulty respecting either, for the reasons in my previous post.

For me, again, it broadly comes down to an inability to appreciate nuance, and to be open-minded about people who might make different choices to us.

D

Not in Scotland, it doesn't.

As for the State training the teachers, yes of course, we the tax payers fund the state. The non tax payers make no contribution. Same as the State trains the nurses and doctors who also can chose (in a democracy) to work in the private sector. I make no apologie for using private healthcare, each time i do, it saves a place in the NHS for others.

I donate blood, free to the NHS which also sells it to the private sector. Is it appaling that they make money from something i give freely? Then we can move on to organ donation, or its a minefield in the court of 'that's mine, this is yours'.

State education is Scotland was world class until about thirty years ago, not its very much near the bottom.

can we all be friends? apart from the racists? they can all gather at the bottom of the garden and give each other wedgies...

Not not, now that'll be the piss poor scottish comp education

I can be friends with tories (though I'd say the fact they are tories means we have very different values - but that doesn't automatically stop me being their friend if we have the same principles but different ways of getting there). Racists or homophobes I couldn't be friends with.

And perhaps you are right Perfumedlife. Would be no great loss though...

Can I be in your gang greensleeves and tethersend - I think Diane Abbot is horrendous.

Well at least we unite over Diane Abbot !

oh dear...I guess I'll play on my own then, I like Diane Abbott...

But I do hate Diana Vickers, how's that?

Nellykats - I'll play with you at the bottom of the garden - as long as you don't mind me being ........ (whispers) ... a Conservative.

i wouldnt drop a friend for private education.if i did i would have no pals or work colleagues to talk to

i think like most things in life it is a spectrum,overall we all live with manageable difference in opinion.such as party polices schooling,foreign holidays,vegetarianism

extreme views eg homophobia,racist i couldn't live and let live and unlikely we'd maintain a friendship

ok bigfootbeliever, we'll make a tent out of my mum's sheets and talk about cute boys and feminism! ok?

Cute boys! Yipee.

Feminism doesn't really need talking about - WE KNOW WE ARE SUPERIOR!! (and the men know it too)