to want labiaplasty

[upsylazy]

This isn't a joke. Since having 3 huge babies,(last one was nearly 11 lbs), my inner fanjo lips have turned a hideous grey/brown colour and hang down about 2 inches outside the outer ones. I just think they look vile. I have only just realised that you can have an op to have them "trimmed". On the same day that I read about this, I read a description in the novel I was reading of a woman's bits, describing "the dark red bud enclosed by the pink petals". It was such a contrast with the way mine look. It's not as though I go about flashing my fanjo at everyone but I have to see it in the shower, going to the loo etc and I hate it. I mentioned the possibility of getting it "fixed" to a friend who plans to have surgery done to everything - boobs, face, tummy etc and she gave me this lecture about how it's totally misogynistic etc. I find this really hypocritical. What's the difference between a boob job and a fanjo job? I probably won't ever actually go through with it but just wondered what people thought.

flaps to the knees ?

they could keep his ears warm, on these chilly nights

I have got big flaps as well , I bet they could blow a raspberry if you'd ask them .

Thanks for your very frank opinions, nice to know there are lots of non rosebud and petals fanjos out there. I've never asked DH what he thinks, would be too embarassed and he's never raised the subject (although raising such a sensitive issue would be a bit tricky admittedly). I've also got very pointy outer lips although i don't know what can be done about that.

Lol! Don't fret, Dita. Unless you are an aspiring porn star you should be just fine. I really don't think that most men care less what size flaps are. I don't think I would want to be with a man who was only with me for what my flaps looked like anyway. Surely only someone with a full on flap fetish would care to any discernible degree?

"Flap fetish"

I´ve made up my mind not to flap about my flaps anymore.

"proper men understand that having a fanjo like a 6yo is not real, nor even something that we women should be aspiring to !"

No proper men understand that fanjos come in all shapes and sizes.

The porn 'ideal' is not fake, just not representative of the variety (this is the same for mens bits too)

Some women have fanjos similar to pornstars some don't. No group is less 'real' than the other

Unless it is causing you pain and discomfort I wouldn't bother personally. But it's up tp you assuming you'll have it done privately. I don't particularly want to pay for it. Call me Scrooge if you like!

And there are a hell of a lot of bits of me that don't look the way they do in novels. I think it's called reality.

I'll be the brave one and admit I have had this done. My inner lips were very long (about 2 inches) and could be seen through swimsuit, would have to push them in, and made me feel horrible and rather deformed.
My gyno did the surgery, yes, it hurt like the dickens (had disolvable stiches) but I was so happy with the way they turned out, I don't even think about them now.

Its not for everyone, but I am happy that I did it.

tyler, I meant no offence to women who do have fanjo's like porn stars, or like 6yo's

Pinkrose- I don't know where I stand on it personally, I think it's each to their own.

But legally speaking have surgery on your genitals for cosmetic purposes is termed as genital mutilation.
I'm nit saying I think it is, that's what the law says it is.

Although I think that applies really to tribal type things being done to little girls/young women as a marital right thing, which is why it is addressed as 'mutilation'.

I've just remembered someone I was at uni with telling his friend that the flapper vote was so called because it's when people with flaps got the vote. I think he believed him for a while

LucyGoose - I think in your position I would have wanted to do the same. Not sure that I would have been brave enough though.

labiaplasty sounds well painful :(

I'm a practice nurse and have been doing smears for ten years.

I have seen hundreds of fannies; they are all different shapes and sizes and labia vary widely in their appearance. I have seen a few that cause their owner discomfort and know of two women who have had labiaplasty (or a flapectomy as one put it )

When your labia interfere with sex due to their size, cause you to get repeated vaginal infections due to their 'openness' and a woman can't wear pants without a pad to cushion them then I think labiaplasty is entirely appropriate. Not mutilation, just correction. Not done to improve their partner's viewing pleasure but to improve the woman's comfort and life.

One can be appalled at Female Genital Mutilation yet be supportive of a woman requiring corrective surgery I think.

Requiring it, and having it done for cosmetic purposes are two different things though Sidge.

I know of two women who (after much wine) have confessed to me how their after-baby flaps have hindered their post-baby sex life and self esteem.
Both are not with the Father's of their babies now, so whilst they feel stretchmarks, saggy tits etc are part and parcel of being a Mother, their flaps are causing them much embarrassment and reluctance sexually, they don't want a new sexual partner because they feel ugly.
One is 57 and one is 26.

Oh I completely agree scaryteacher - I would find it sad if a woman felt the need for it to look 'normal' if there were no other need for it. Where does this concept of 'normal' come from?

IME normal comes in many shapes, sizes and colours.

Sidge, I know from one of my friends (the othe ris my Mother!) that she has one lip hanging down and it looks "dead" and unequal.
It is not a cosmetic thing, this is a real phobia that my friend has. She won't sleep with her new partner because of it. She feels ugly and damaged.
In my Mother's case she describes it as being stitched up wrongly and having extra bits where she shouldn't.

This thread is a phantastic mixture of very frank different points of view and uniquely MN-flavoured outragousness !!

FWIW, I'd personally not bother however can understand how mahoosive labia (I intensely dislike the word 'flaps' in this context, yeuch) can get in the way, literally and figuratively. So if you can afford it and don't mind a fair bit of post-op pain, why not? Cannot be worse than healing after episiotomy/tear post childbirth I reckon.

And just for the record, labiaplasty performed at the person's request and with her consent, is NOT genital mutilation, purlease - putting those two on a par really does all girls/women in the world who suffer horrific injury without anaethetic with longterm health defects a tremendous injustice. Labioplasty is a well recognised plastic surgical procedure, often used after disfiguring surgery down below.

"The porn 'ideal' is not fake, just not representative of the variety (this is the same for mens bits too)"

Agree with this. I know Anyfucker has come back to say she meant no offence, point taken.

But my vulva is the so-called ideal - having not given birth to my children vaginally, or even having been examined or anything, I am practically a virgin...when its had some topiary done on it, it could be porn-esque. Lets just say it scrubs up well

Smug I am not - I am not in the slightest bit happy about the way the skin around my c-section scar sits, I dont think it will ever lie flat again.

But I am not any less of a real woman with real bits or any of that malarky - just managed to avoid that side of things.

Not that that's who Anyfucker meant anyway - I think she was probably talking about the prepubescant full Hollywood job which admittedly some men might well find a little, well, preschool? Perhaps not - each to their own...

sloany, yes, I was alluding to that

very badly, obviously, so apologies again to those I offended

I also thought this thread had gotten light-hearted, although it swings back and forth, so my timing might have been off too

the last thing I would advocate is making women feel bad about thie "bits", whatever shape they are

I apologise for my overuse of the word "flaps".

In my friend and my Mother's case it is nothing to do with having a designer vagina or porn star labia and actually really rather damaging.

Personally, I haven't taken a mirror to mine since my Mother made me at aged 13 when she bought me a facts of life book (still cringing now), but I know I have no hindrances, iyswim.

I think the vast majority of fanjo's (and cocks for that matter) are within the realms of normality. There will always be a small minority that look very different - for whatever reason. I can imagine that for these people it would be an issue. If thats the case then they should do something about it if they can.

I recall watching a documentary about boobs a few years back. Lots of different women speaking about how they felt about their boobs basically. There was one young women who really hated hers. I will admit I was a bit like "yeah it's all in your head". Then she took her top off. Poor girl (with no kids) honestly had the boobs of a 90 year old. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. Wasn't due to huge weight loss either.

Yes, yes I know these things shouldn't matter but lets be honest, they do matter to most people. Every wants to feel desirable. People aren't necessarily looking for perfection when they have these procedures, sometimes its just about looking more "normal".

I think I am prepared to conclude that they are 'our flaps' and we can do with them what we want. I personally love mine! Dh is always trying to lick them so I think he is pretty happy with my lot. Mine look the same as pre babies, but then I didn't have any tears. Dh actually delivered one of our children himself as my labour was very quick. Having seen my puss bucket do 'that', at v. close quarters, he is not easily scared, lol.