to take out my dc who has the pox?

[sleeplessinseatle]

Obviously not to playgroups etc, but I've got a baby at home and don't think I can cope otherwise. Is there anywhere we can safely go where there won't be lots of kids/pregnant women?

Of course it's all about her (SS). It's her blog, it's her beautiful Catherine, it's her agonising grief.

When you are lost in grief all you can be is selfish, you have no physical or emotional energy for others. Grief is a very selfish thing indeed.

We don't like people being selfish, but surely this is a time when being selfish is ok and understandable?

For once, can others just not swallow their curt words and their disagreements and allow Sassy to be selfish? Even if you don't agree with everything she says, just bite your bloody tongue and try and understand.

I can't get my head round people who are so intent on expressing their opinions 'robustly' that they would hang around a thread to argue with a grieving parent about the loss of their child and how they should/should not react or feel about it.

This isn't about 'rules' it is about common decency.

'It's all about her' - I meant avril actually because I was talking about that one blog entry in paticular.

I've actually asked MN to delete this thread, it could have acted as a very important education to a great many of us (including myself) who didn't realise the serious implications of chicken pox, however Avril being referenced on a blog like that and then this thread being linked on facebook I think is a step too far.

To all those who have experienced bereavement because of CP (or any reason) I am truly sorry for your loss.

I see what you mean Libra I linked to fb before it all kicked off. I disagree that the thread should be deleted. I do think SS should remove Avril's name from her blog. Everything else is fair enough as we all know before we hit post that this is a public forum but singling out Avril is a step too far.

I hope the thread isn't deleted, I hope it has educated a few people. I know it has me.
just this post alone

onimolap Sat 02-Oct-10 04:33:09
My friend's darling daughter, my son's playmate, who had leukaemia died because she caught a cold.

Those who go out and about with active cold symptoms are being dangerous too.

MY dd goes to a school where there are children who could die if they got CP (and yes I now understand why they don't like dd going when she has a cold, so I have learnt the reason in black and white)

Mumsnet's finest hour.

Sorry. For everyone.

FFS, If MN deleted every thread that offended, upset or annoyed someone it'd be bloody empty.

It's not about being offended, upset or annoyed within mumsnet, this has now gone outside mumsnet.

And??

Why is that a problem? How many of us talk to other people about things on here?

i thhink most of you know my families situation.

dh is working now. and has had a heart transplant. people come into his work with kids who are ill. he puts himself at risk by going to work. buthe cannot hide away. the whole point of the traqnsplant was allow him to live, not live i na bubble.

please try and minislise risks by keep ill kids at home.

Look, we're all at risk of being reproduced elsewhere - MN itself has made bloody sure of that. Look in the right hand corner - see the FB an Twitter link?

No difference IMO.

It's not just Avril, that blog has reproduced posts that aren't even on this thread and named the posters. I don't agree when newspapers do it without permission either.

I am uncomfortable with the blog development too. I was annoyed with Avril for picking at my post and saying that it would cause "more hurt" and I said so.
However, I don't feel that she should have been the focus of the anger about insensitive comments. I personally think that she tried to "manage" the thread in a cack-handed manner which caused upset, but I don't think, given her early comments, that she held or expressed any of the truly hurtful views that made such unpleasant reading. There are others who have said worse and taken less of a hit for it. I think Avril was insensitive in her handling of the emotions on the thread, but not intentionally hurtful in her actual stance.
If her username is her real name, I would like to see it removed from the blog - not because I think Sassysusan was entirely wrong to use this thread as an example to illustrate an important point, but because I think that this sort of thing can be extremely distressing for someone, particularly where we don't know her personal circumstances, or how robust a person she is.
Sassysusan - can you be compassionate about this, even so soon after you have been treated without compassion by some people, and draw a line under Avril's involvement by removing her name?

I'm afraid Sassy can't answer that at the moment, annec555 as her MN account has been suspended or stopped.

MNHQ - Is there a particular reason why Sassy cannot log into her MN account???

I have read this thread from start to finish and I have been appalled by a number of the comments by some people who seem to be saying it's ok as:
a) it's only the odd child who could die,
b) it'll be someone else's child
c) my not being inconvenienced is more important than someone else potentially catching a life threatening illness

and I won't even go into my thoughts about some of the comments to those who have lost children.

To Sassy and others who have lost their children I'm so sorry for your losses.

I hope people are comfortable that they have behaved appropriately.

Finally, it really makes me wonder if it's worth still being on here.

ROFL Dee - yep I reckon its the 'weekend ban' that I received a couple of years ago for DARING to get angry on a thread. She will be 'released' on Monday if she is anything like I was!!

I wasn't asked to apologise to anyone and the thought of MNHQ trying to get an apology from Sassy is, rightly or wrongly, making me almost snort my coffee across the keyboard

Oh that's just fucking fantastic, way to go, MNHQ.

How to cut off a recently bereaved mothers source of support in one fell swoop...

You must be so proud.

If she can still read Mumsnet, she might still see this and decide to remove Avril's name from her blog.

I asked her politely to do so further up the thread, and agree with annec that it would be the right thing for her to do. I do understand her anger and frustration, but don't think it is right that Avril is the sole focus - as annec said, I think she's been cackhanded and insensitive, but not deliberately, and she has had the grace to apologise.

cutting bereaved mother off from Mumsnet for misbehaving=Really Not Good

I couldn't read anything or post anything.

When I was allowed back on I changed my nickname and took all my pictures off my profile. It knocked me for six to be honest - you see the grief of loosing a child is all consuming, it shatters your heart and mind and your emotions go from one extreme to the other.

Most people, in real life, dont mention it or they pat the back of your hand and smile and nod....it is a lonely existence - your 'light at the end of the tunnel' is either a million miles away or the bulb has gone out.

I was ridiculed and told to pull myself together on the thread that caused my ban. I was openly mocked by three 'longterm' MNetters....they still post now and they still say whatever they want and dont give a flying feck. When I noticed this thread a couple of them were already posting on it.

Sassy - if you can read this (although I doubt it) I am proud of you for shouting from the rooftops - and, more to the point Catherine will be very proud. xxxxx