to take out my dc who has the pox?

[sleeplessinseatle]

Obviously not to playgroups etc, but I've got a baby at home and don't think I can cope otherwise. Is there anywhere we can safely go where there won't be lots of kids/pregnant women?

SS Reference your post:
'Avril - how depressing that you've read my blog - thousands of words explaining about the devastating loss of a child, and can still come in here and spout such shit...

(wanders away muttering..... )'
seconded / thirded / fourthed by me ...

some people just don't get it do they? Makes you wonder about that karma thing doesn't it?

Excellent post MrsDeVere - truly excellent.

When I was quite new to Mumsnet I wandered onto a thread saying that people who lit candles for others who had suffered a bereavement, EVEN though they didn't know them, were pathetic!!

I waded in saying that I had lost two sons and 'knew' many Mums who had suffered the same. I said that I found it a great comfort that others lit candles for me.

I was ripped apart...by several long term MNetters - ridiculed and laughed at. I finally had enough and almost lost my mind on the thread - I was BANNED from MN for a whole weekend - until the lovely Mums on the bereaved Mums thread got me 'out of jail.'

Whenever I go onto a thread where the people who ridiculed me are posting I just lurk and keep sitting on my hands, so I cant type anything Thing is with Sassy - she is a strong woman who has had her heart broken into pieces with the loss of Catherine - she will not be silenced and I love that about her.

(Gives Mrs Devere a standing ovation at my desk)

I took my son to legoland because he had one stubborn spot on his foot that wouldn't scab. I felt because we were outside and it was term time it would be ok.

I've posted a link to this thread on our Twitter page and posted it on my facebook.

This and other "childhood" diseases are basic things we as parents should be aware of. Obviously people still aren't so either click on the Twitter/fb icons yourself or retweet mine.

Just read everyone elses responses. What are you talking about as I only read about once a week?

Sorry, forgot I was on page 11, anti depressants have turned me into a moron. Well I know it's too late now as I have done it, but reading all these dreadful things haas made me change my mind about chicken pox. I feel really sad for the mums who have lost children.

Mrs Devere and sassy. You have been so strong. If everyone in the world had just half your strength and compassion then the world would be a better place.

shabba if you ever spot any of those posters behaving like that towards others report them. I'm sorry for your loss.

spanky I hope that fog lifts soon

Sorry you are having to take AntiDs for whatever reason.

exactly what thefirstMrsDeVere says. I honestly could not put it better myself, thank you xx

My sympathies to those who have lost babies or children to cp. I think I should point at in my earlier post (on page 1) where I talkedabout going out, I was talking a in the position of the op that if she really wanted to go out, in that situation that is what I would do. I have always said I will keep mine in once they get cp, they have so far managed to avoid it despite many unknown contact with it, especially this year. I have already prepared myself, have calamine in the cupboard ect so that I will be ok. I do also have my parents who can shop for me in an emergency, although my dad would have to steer clear due to him having many courses of steroids recently ( he has emphysema). My only worry would be getting ds1 to school if ds2 gets it seperate from hom, as I do not really have anyone to do the school runs and not sure if the school would accept this as a good reason for absence.
I was a little shocked and a little put out once when I went to pick up ds1 from pre school this year and a mum was there with her little girl (just over a year) with cp, standing in the waiting area. She didn't even have a child at the pre school and was waiting with a friend, who was picking her child up so had absolutely no reason to be there. Having read this thread, I feel even more annoyed with this situation!

I've managed to read all the thread.
I've got nothing to add, apart from the fact that my jaw dropped when Sassy's first post didn't get acknowledged for quite a long time.

thefirstMrsDevere I just wanted to say thank you for (your whole post but especially) your advice on what to do with the school run issue. It had crossed my mind that by the time my baby gets CP (which I'm fairly sure he will at some point) my 2 older kids will almost certainly be at school - what to do about the school run? Your advice is VERY much appreciated - and SO simple - of course I could just arrange to drop them 10 minutes later. Thank you for providing me with a concrete idea to help me avoid putting anyone through what you and. Sassy and others have been through.

SassySusan I read pretty much all of the rest of your blog last night. My heart breaks to think what you must be going through. Thank you again for your bravery in allowing total DHACs like me to begin to have a clue. My friend lost her 3 yr old 4 years ago, and I fear I must have said some outstandingly thoughtless things to her without realising. Your blog's helped me a lot to rethink what she is perhaps still feeling, but not verbalising.

As for vaccinations...DD has had it, as has DS2, but as DS1 is like me and has no natural immunity to it, despite having had CP twice already (badly, he was hospitalised both times). the private doctor I saw said that the vaccination would be useless for DS1 and me, and that if DS1 was in contact with the CP virus again, he will most likely get shingles. He's not quite 9yo yet. The baby I am currently pregnant with will also be having the CP vaccination. £60 is such a small amount to ay for the ease of mind. Vaccination for CP works on the basis of 'herd immunity', and unless and until the vaccination rate improves, the vaccination is not going to do that much good. There are very few people willing to fork out £60 per child to get it done, and the NHS, via NICE, has decided that it's not cost effective to have the CP jab as part of the routine vaccination schedule.

Thanks Arcadie. You are the second or third person who said something similar to me, and it is hugely encouraging that my blog helps explains what it might like be to be bereaved, and makes a practical diference in how other bereaved mums are treated.

One of the problems with losing a child is that in many ways you become invisible. People don't like to think about dead children or grieving mothers, so they want you to get over it asap and not mention it again.

Just written today's blog entry, and I find it immensely cathartic to give myself a platform to speak, when there are so few opportunities to do so. It is great to know it is being read and appreciated - thanks.

I think if you go out in your own car ,to somewhere where there arnt any people ,ie windswept beach ,if someone comes into view shout chickenpox at the top of your voice ,dont use any public facilities ,then you should be fine. If you are unable to do any of the above ,then stay indoors ,the weather is appalling here anyway

Your blog is amazing Sassy. I have no idea how you are able to express such raw emotion so beautifully but I feel almost honoured (if that makes sense?) that you have shared it. I cannot begin to imagine your pain

i am ed at some of the heartlessness directed towards sassy too.

some of the people on this thread should be ashamed of themselves.

so very sorry to all those here who have lost a child. i cannot even begin to imagine what that is like. my dad's first child died aged 7 and he carried that crippling grief and pain with him his whole life. he was terrified of anything happening to me or my half brother because he knew the worst can happen to anyone.

Apologies for the hijack... what would also be nice on this thread is MN could accept how dangerous CP is...

Wouldn't it be great if Mrs D didn't have to tell her story again, because there are so many others who understand the argument?

I think that is why you can provoke a negative response sassy because you admit you want others to imagine the pain.

That offends people. How dare you upset them!

But imagining is not the same as experiencing. So however upset they are, it lasts an hour or a day and then their lives go on.

Ours dont. Not the way they were before. Everything has changed. Its like the whole universe has been spun around and everything has fallen to earth in a different place.

Now we have to find our way round a whole new world.

There is a reason that so many bereaved parents stick to special sites and threads. I dont blame them. Its hard out here.

Maybe we could start a bereaved mummies thread in AIBU instead?

AIBU to start a bereaved mummies thread...

LMFAO.... ok, ok... the concept is good, but the design needs work