For thinking that the little shits who bullied a little boy so much he hung himself should not be getting fecking counselling ??

[OldCrusty]

I've namechanged because i'm a wimp...

On sunday night a 10yr old boy hung himself, he hung himself because he'd been bullied.

He'd tried to kill himself on numerous occasions, because he was being bullied.

Because of this, his poor mother was on constant 'suicide watch' and got her neighbour to put a ladder to the window when he locked his bedroom door.

He was found hanging from his bed.

So tell me AIBU in thinking that the nasty little bastards who caused that poor boy so much pain and upset should be told YOU my child are a nasty little shit, because of you and others like you a boy suffering became so much he decided he didnt want to live anymore ??

Not given a pat on the back and 'helped' to feel 'better' ??

I think it depends how old the bully was. If he was 10, he might have a terrible homelife, and he might actually need some councelling.

It doesnt right any wrongs. What he has done is still terrible.

If that were my child those shits would need police protection never mind counselling. As well as the parents and teachers who turned a blind eye. These cases disgust me.

well they won't be, they will be victims.........

I doubt they're getting a pat on the back. It's sad, very sad though. Bullies are often victims of past bullying or shit childhoods or shit parenting though, where does it start/end!?!
I'm all for a much more 'responsible' society with real consequences but it's never a popular opinion!

If the bullies were also 10 year old boys, I'm sorry, but YABU. If they're fully-grown adults, YANBU.

I really don't believe each and every bully has a bad home life.

Some kids are vile, theyre like sodding pack animals when they get going.

I think you are mistaking the purpose of the counselling.

Counselling is not a way to make you feel better about yourself, as such, it is help in sorting out your emotions and helping you to recognise your motivations for some behaviours.

Truly making them understand what there actions have led to, well that's probably the hardest lesson they will ever have to learn. You will probably see some suicide attmepts among that group.

Too true - think there is a really feral pack mentality out there among some groups of children. What is your answer old crusty one?

I don't believe every bully has a crap home life either.

Whats the age of criminal responsibility these days ??

If I had my way they'd be prosecuted !

Whether it has any affect will also depend on other factors for example with bullying groups there is often a ring leader who may be psychopathic, and a few who just get swept up in it all. How on earth did the adults in charge let it get to this stage? How dare they

I think they need to face up to the consequences of their actions.... the harsh way...

Maybe meeting the families of their victims is the way to go.

yabu,counselling isnt necessarily no blame,no challenge.but any violent act and dysfunction needs exploration.worse is to adopt a its all shite,beat em attitude

heartfelt sorrow to parent losing a child

YABU but I understand where you are coming from. If the bullies are also 10 years old there must be some serious underlying problems. Yes we know kids can be a bit cruel sometimes in the playground but to say that some are vile and past helping is harsh. At the very least, some sort of help might prevent them from becoming serious violent abusive offenders in adulthood?
Am also equally disgusted that this case got so far without being effectively dealt with by adults.

It's 10 so if the bullying did directly lead to this poor boy's suicide it should be investigated and the boys could be charged.

'I don't believe every bully has a crap home life either.'

There was a pack of utter bitches who made my left hell at school.
They didn't come from broken homes.
They didn't have free school meals.
They had nice clothes and nice things and were popular and did okay academically (they were in the top stream class with me).

They had no excuse, they just bullied me because they were vile, nasty cows who thought I was easy prey because my mum was a single mother on benefit and couldn't afford to buy me nice clothes and things and fancy holidays
They knew they were doing wrong - they just didn't give a shit. I suspect their parents would have been horrified if they knew what their little darlings had been doing to me.

it's 10yrs old.

The age that if you leave your child alone at home and something bad happens you can be done for neglect.

The age that many parents don't think that children are old enough, or mature enough to be left at home/let out for long periods of time because they're not mature enough.

It's one of the lowest ages in Europe

If the children involved are 10, then the criminal justice system isn't the right place to deal with their behaviour, which may be part of a cycle of abuse. Surely the focus should be on rehabilitation?

I think your ire stems from a basic lack of understanding of counselling and its purpose

it does not involve being patted on the head and given lollipops

its aim isn't to make the bullies feel nice - it is to address the root causes of the behaviour (whatever those may be) and enable changes in the person't mindset and behavioural patterns

and a lot of the time, it is very effective in doing that

which is good for everyone, given that however angry we are we can't just bin people, throw away the key, string 'em up etc

and I think it is true that bullies do not always have what we would consider a "bad home life" - there isn't always abuse or neglect. However there are many many other ways in which a child's environment can be unhealthy and damaging. Good psychotherapy can address poor role modellings, challenge assumptions and prejudices the person isn't even aware of

and it's a good start

I don't think it was just boys.

It was 'school' in general.

The neighbours said he didnt play out very often.

He must have been so scared about facing school on the monday

i agree with Nemofish and Greensleeves.

I'd add that they are children, and the point of that is that, as adults, we are supposed to guide them in their behaviour. This indicates that, somewhere along the line, school, home, wherever, there weren't adults interveining, strongly enough, to stop children behaving in this way, and showing them it's wrong. It's our job to do that.

Also, anyone reading this, and thinking "that could be my child", can I please say that, if you are being told that you should keep your child put, and it teaches the wrong lessons to remove them from the situation, etc., that hasn't been our experience - removing our dd was a good solution.

but they need to be seen to be punished.
how else do you stop it keep happening?