For thinking that the little shits who bullied a little boy so much he hung himself should not be getting fecking counselling ??

[OldCrusty]

I've namechanged because i'm a wimp...

On sunday night a 10yr old boy hung himself, he hung himself because he'd been bullied.

He'd tried to kill himself on numerous occasions, because he was being bullied.

Because of this, his poor mother was on constant 'suicide watch' and got her neighbour to put a ladder to the window when he locked his bedroom door.

He was found hanging from his bed.

So tell me AIBU in thinking that the nasty little bastards who caused that poor boy so much pain and upset should be told YOU my child are a nasty little shit, because of you and others like you a boy suffering became so much he decided he didnt want to live anymore ??

Not given a pat on the back and 'helped' to feel 'better' ??

God this thread is horrific.

There are so many sad stories on here and as someone who is still in councelling as an adult because she was so badly bullied I empathise entirely HOWEVER I also agree that the kids who did this need councelling, not to make them feel better but to help them understand. I dont think kids are evil from the minute they are born, I dont think an angry two year old will be a violent teen and I certainly dont think demonising a ten year old is the way to encourage a better balance in society. I do think there should be a punishment for these children, along the lines of community service.

(pretty goes off to find her five year old boy to sit him down and have a good chat about what bullying is and why it is so important not to do it......)

This is a subject close to my heart as I was subjected to a campaign of bullying and abuse which lasted for 10 years until I was removed from school. It has left me distrusting of others and therefore unable to form close friendships.

Have to agree with what Cupcakes said earlier. Fate does seem to turn the tables on these evil fuckers and karma often wins out.

The fact that their wickedness has led to this poor boy taking his own life will haunt these bullies for the rest of their days. Probably punishment enough.

RunawayWife - I wish you'd been my mum when I was being bullied! Basically my parents brushed off my concerns so totally and so effectively the first few times I tried to voice them that I stopped telling them because I thought they wouldn't do anything about it.

I recently told my mum how I'd been suicidal in my mid teens, and she was really shocked and upset - she had no idea because I hadn't told her. I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was their initial responses that had put me off ever telling them that the bullying was going on, and how shit it was making me feel.

'Brassband i dont live in the uk and home educating is not an option here.'

You change school or get the doctor involved then

I cannot stand threads where children are referred to as 'shits', 'bastards', 'evil' etc. I hate to mention the Daily Mail but...well there I just have!

Children are children and behave badly when they have not been shown how to behave or have been neglected or abuse (whether from posh homes or poor homes etc etc.

As many have said, counselling is there to rehabilitate/help/guide children not pander to them. If only all bullies could receive this help.

All that said, I am very very sorry for all those on here who have been bullied or whose dc have been - I understand why you might not have the same attitude as me.

How awful . Stories like this make me so scared for my ds. The poor mother of that boy must be utterly devastated knowing her ds was so low he thought his life was worth nothing.

I think counselling is a good idea actually, it will hopefully make the children involved think about the consequences of their actions. I agree on the face of it that they are nasty little shits but maybe a few sessions with a trained therapist will make them realise that.

I have doctors , school governors , police involved & even a solicitor who i had to hire to threaten ds's school into dealing with the deranged bully & protect my ds from the beatings he was receiving .

I know prozac, Not at all,was just using your quote in a positive way to confirm what had been said (that it can also go the other way around) and I just wanted to add the bit at the end. :) so people didnt think I was brought up in a poncy home! :)

Counselling is fine I don't think anyone objects to that if we're honest, everyone deserves a 2nd chance.
I will come over very Daily Mail though if they get taken on day trips to Alton Towers or a week long outward bound holiday, however good the intentions that is simply insulting.

Callisto - you absolutely don't need to be born evil to commit evil, most normal ordinary humans are perfectly capable of it. I've linked to the Stanley Milgram experiments for you - they are still relevent today (the link isn't a particularly academic and robust one - but Milgram's experiments are widely lauded)

sadly many people are immoral feckers in the 'right' circumstances

Thanks Avril , I hope so tbh , the police were not very helpful tbh & more or less told me to force the school into dealing with things . which i have done through my solicitor & the board of education . Ds has suffered 3 years of physical abuse from this 1 child who is absolutely fearless of adults [he has threatened to slit my ds's throat right in front of me] . But thankfully there has been no problems since ds started back to school 3 weeks ago , still early days though .

You must have amazing restraint, Elmofan. I would swing for the little fucker. I admire you for the way you are dealing with this.

Nothing to admire cupcakes , i feel SO
guilty for not being firmer with his school 3 years ago instead i foolishly believed them when they assured me they would protect ds & nothing else would happen . I feel i let ds down .

I'm going to go out on a limb here, without namechanging. When I was in the first year (so 11yrs old) there was a girl in my class who came from a very religious family. She smelt funny, had greasy hair and acted strangely (in our eyes). A group of us used to pick on her mercilessly :( .

At the age of 11 I had no empathy - and I wouldn't say I was an unpleasant child in general, I just think I was incapable of putting myself in her shoes. As she never told on us, and I never spoke to an adult about what was going on, nobody ever said to me 'how would that make you feel?'. I honestly think that we behaved the way we did because it made us feel powerful and that we were 'inside' whilst she was 'outside' IYSWIM.

I look back on that time with guilt and shame, and with the benefit of hindsight wonder what her home life must have been like - she was not cared for very well in terms of cleanliness, she was brought up very strictly with seemingly little regard for 'the real world' and we must have made her life a complete misery.

I don't know what I am really saying in answer to the OP, just that I suppose there but for the grace of god - and I am a pretty nice person, and always have been (I think) - just at that age had no empathy or judgement.

There need to be a more structured and standard method of dealing with bullies, across the board. It's simply not on that we send our children to school and entrust them into someone else's care and these people to not meet this basic obligation. There should be tough penalties for heads who have a shit record of dealing with bullies

I am very glad to say that she left the school after that year IIRC and I really hope she went on to have a lovely life.

Interesting - my parents split up when I was 12 so around a year after the bullying, home was not pleasant (no abuse or anything just awful atmosphere, mum crying a lot etc etc) - and it wouldn't occur to me to 'blame' my actions on that. But perhaps there is some kind of link, psychologically speaking - no power to change home situation so trying to get some power back at school. Hmmm.

:( for you that your friend was so mean at such a tough time for you. Actually was about to put quote marks round 'friend' and noticed you described her as 'a woman I know' - quite.

I think that if the bullying had been picked up by the school, a stern chat would easily have nipped it in the bud. I don't know whether that would apply to all bullies though who may be more 'troubled' or whatever than I was.

People are very reluctant to label children as being intrinsically nasty, and indeed I always wonder that about adults too - does anyone see themselves as acting unpleasantly? But it seems generally acceptable (certainly on here) to label an adult. At what point/age do kids cross that line I wonder?

"she is a primary school teacher " that sentence sent a shiver down my back avril

I dont know what the answer is but that is so so sad....
Hate to think of anyone being that unhappy they wouild kill them self... poor poor boy and his family..
Tears stream down my face

I think public humiliation is the key.

I went to a fairly small secondary school, we were a good bunch of kids, all rubbed along quite well and were fairly accepting of others.

I can't remember any incidents of bullying except one in yr 10, a cat scrap over a boy or somesuch which ended in a poor girl being ambushed outside school

Each and every girl was excluded and when they came back were given the dressing down of their lives in front of the entire school,one by one their names were called out.

It ended in a chat / question and answer session on the effects of bullying by the local community policeman.

The rest of us were pretty disgusted too, really can't remember any other incidents and feel it was dealt with the best way.

HMC - maybe 60% of humans are born evil then? I have read about that experiment, also the stanford prison experiment. Maybe I should have refined my statement to say that the capacity to commit great evil is in most humans and that given the right circumstances most of us would be horrible bullies. This is a 'nature' rather than 'nurture' trait surely?

The more I find out about human nature, our innate greed and selfishness and the terrible things that we do to each other and our surroundings, the more I think that humans are an abberation, against the natural order. Deeply depressing.