to think that it's the people with the most help with their kids seem to be the ones who struggle the most with them

[peterpiperpicked]

Ok,

Firstly, yes, you're all going to flame me. Yes, round of applause to me for managing two kids on my own with absolutely no family help or childcare, blah de blah de blah.

But, I'm just wondering if anyone else has noticed that the people who seem to really struggle with bringing up small children (I mean babies and pre-schoolers) and moan about it loads and just give off a general air of not coping without tons of help are the people who have people to help them all the time?

I know loads of people with their Mum plus extended family round the corner to help out all the time and they are the self-same people who would also have a nervous breakdown at the thought of popping along to Sainsburys with a couple of kids in tow.

Then there are the rest of us who just get on with it and know that it's really not so bad and you don't need your hand holding through all of it.

So, yes flame away, I have namechanged for the occsaion. Even drop in a few platitudes about how I sound charming and it takes a village to raise a child. But seriously, aren't some people a bit crap to not be able to bring their own children up?

i don't "loath" people who get help, but I do admit to being a bit

People who cry in the office? You sound like a hard faced caahhh!

PPP - do you think less of all people moaning? People a bit like you, perhaps? :)

Seriously, do you cry in the office pinkie? Do you? That is seriously beyond lame if you do.

Cristina - it's something I've noticed,and it seems others have too. That's all I wanted to know - am I the only one who's noticed it? No, no I'm not.

Question answered.

It seems to me that some women cannot cope with bringing up their children without the help of others. If the extended family care about the mother and the children, they step in and help. If the extended family don't want to help or are unable to help, the child ends up in the care of social services.

So I would say the reason that it is women with family help who seem to say they can't cope is because the women without any support when they say they can't cope no longer have have children around to mother.

frankly, I don't care.

One person's 'coping fine' is another person's 'becoming unreasonably dictatorial towards small tired children'

Milly - or else they just 'get on with it' and come and moan on MN.

Yanbu

I have a seriously hard time coping and no help at all. So no, I haven't noticed or kept tabs on how others are struggling or moaning about it.

I don't just get on with it, I just hide it well.

YABU.

Eek colditz, you've hit one of my raw nerves. I can't seem to avoid being unreasonably dictatorial!

Peterpiper you're making me laugh.... but I would just say that I think it's unwise to have a policy of thinking less of people over such small things. I've got a friend who will write you off altogether if you make a spelling mistake, and I think it's a bit limiting.

Yes Cristina, but if someone can just get on with it than they are to some extent coping!

I have cried in the office - my first day back after mat leave- lots had changed, had disagreement with manager. Why is it lame to have feelings? Have you ever had mental health issues?
Maybe all this 'coping' is making you bitter and hard.

I'm just very, very, very jealous of people who get a lot of help.

Need to start a new thread on crying in the office, although I think it's already been done on here before.

Yes it's lame, go to the toilet for a quick sob if you must but boo-hooing in front of everyone just makes everyone so embarassed for you.

'So maybe family help is a contributory factor to PND?'

What are you, a doctor?

No help, no family around, gave birth to DS on my own.

Got PND.

So much for that theory.

I was being ironic expat, but well done for paying attention.,

Pinkie, I am coming around to your way of thinking. I do sometimes wonder if people who are entirely lacking in sympathy regarding the weaknesses of others are actually the ones with the most extreme mental health problems - being sociopaths or having serious personality disorders.

Nice job stirring, too, ppp. Namechanging to do so, too.

Nevermind. I think I know who you are, anyhow.

Expat, you wouldn't have the first hope of knowing who I am, you really wouldn't. But go on, have a guess, I'm intrigued!

Why would anyone else feel embarrassed if I cried? That would indicate your own ishoos. If my colleague cried I'd just feel concern.
You have a point milly

'Expat, you wouldn't have the first hope of knowing who I am, you really wouldn't. But go on, have a guess, I'm intrigued!'

LOL! Keep flattering yourself, I'm off to the racist thread, it's more interesting because, well, when anyone pointed out who you are when you're not hiding behind a namechange to stir, you'd deny it so you could try to prove them wrong.

Duh.

oh, we had a lovely woman cry in the office today. very sad. i made her a coffee and chatted.

do you really not have any empathy at all, op? i'm quite sad for you, now...

right back at you, ppp.

Is name changing to shit stir allowed, I don't think so and now you are being abusive and swearing at people shall I report this or will you fcuk off all by yourself.
Sweet dreams.