ah, you are all novices when it comes to useless kitchen gadgets 
my mum and a friend have been having 'strangest kitchen gadgets' competitions every year for about the last 30 years, given on Christmas Eve, secret revealed if not already worked out on New Year's Eve. Known by all and sundry as the 'guess whats' - sometimes can be quite big, other times quite small, often brought out as a party game for people to figure out what they are.
Thus over the years I have come across a large number of guess what's useless gadgets, amongst the most notable are those for creating square hard boiled eggs (to fit in sandwiches better apparently), hot chocolate frothers, coils to stitch up turkeys, a thing to put your fork in so it can twirl around to twirl up spaghetti, pastry lattice roll cutter, tortilla flipper.... the list goes on
Some things have now gone on to be quite mainstream (pineapple thingys, avocado scoopers, things to weight table cloths down outside, anything in the Lakeland cataglogue) but were very strange 20 odd years ago. Other's have remained very niche products
Has got to the point where me, mum and dsis are all on the look out for weird and wonderful gadges throughout the year, it's getting harder and harder to find things as they have probably bought over 60 different things over the years!
So if anybody has any ideas on anything more useless than a hard boiled egg cuber please do point me in the right direction!