is this the most useless kitchen utensil ever?

[ericshen]

In our kitchen drawer is a mushroom brush. What the hell are they all about?
I find it easier to peel them
I suppose it is just more crap to fill a kitchen drawer with

Those pastry wheel things that give a crinkled edge to the pastry are really pointless. My hand shakes so much I get a wrinkly line using a normal knife.

I have a thing but I'm not sure what it is. It arrived by itself in my kitchen drawers - possibly after studenthood. I have been told it could be to do with grapefruits. Anyway, it is sharp, has a curved wooden handle that is very short and then a metal bit which culminates in a pointed v type section. Not a good description really but maybe a grapefruit expert will read this and explain what it is...

DP interfered tried to help me cook once. He was aghast that I just chopped the mushrooms straight from the pack, saying that we would get ill.

I snarled that I had been doing so for all teh years we had been together, he had not died from spaghetti bolognese infected with mushroom mud blight, asked him to wash them (saying 'go on then, go on, show me how it is done' in a wild eyed fashion), he backed out of teh kitchen saying 'I wasn't criticising, honestly'.

He never mentions mushroomgate now.

hobgoblin, it sounds like a grapefruit segmenter, so you can cut a perfect segment with no pith.

Best to just throw grapefruits straight on the compost IMO.

See, now, my DH is a pig will happily pick stuff up off the floor and eat it. He'd never notice mud anyway.

It probably is that miggsie but I have tried to segment a grapefruit with it and I just killed the grspefruit entirely. I redefined its use by making it into a juicer.

Does it have a serrated edge, hobbgoblin? Cos if not, it sounds very much like the cheese knife that came in an odd little set of three that I was given. For small round cheese maybe?

Relieved to find others who just flick off the big bits of mud and cook the mushrooms. I'm dreading weaning DS because of all the faff about peeling food.

My useless items are a lemon juicer - never used gift - and a fish bone picker. It looks like large tweezers with a lovely fish shape design on it ... but we're more at the fishfingers breaded fish end of the menu so utterly useless.

Couldn't resist flicking through lakeland after following the link.

"Ripe avocado is notoriously difficult to wrestle from its skin." Indeed. I have to procure three strong men to sit on it when I mercilessly flay it on my altar worktop.

Also, provided that you're happy to cube it, ripe avocado is a doddle to get out of its skin.

Oh my god

ForgottenTomato ditto my DH. He would have thrown them away if they were within one day of the best before date too.

I have a kiwi spoon (pointless, but a gift from DH so can't "lose" it). Also have potato and onion bags from Betterware which are actually pretty good.

I know Prof, it's pretty much the softest thing you may ever have to slice/scoop.

WTF is a mushroom brush??

Can I put in a good word for toastabags? In the 3 months we lived in a caravan with only 2 gas rings and a toaster those bags got used for everything - fishfingers, toasted sandwiches, garlic bread slices, naan bread, crappy frozen potato products (waffles etc).

My vote for most useless kitchen gadget is a garlic press. It doesnt fit my squeezy tube of garlic. Therefore pointless.

Also cheese grater - since we dont do cheese.

Quenelle: I've managed to persuade DH that its better to actually look at fruit and veg to decide if it's ok, rather than reading the date on the label. It has taken many years.

If only you could actually buy a ripe avocado and not have to realise 5 days in advance that you might fancy one next Thursday.

I have a Zyliss soft fruit peeler, as I am incapable of passing Lakeland without buying something. I think I've used it twice, and one of those times was only because I had just bought it and thought I ought to do something with it. Don't like the hairy skin on a peach? Buy a nectarine. Job done.

Ooh, what about this piece of useless shite beautiful glassware that I received one birthday.

Who the fark 'aerates' their wine anyway? I'm beginning to find corks a pain, never mind letting the fucker breathe!

orient we must have had the bluntest one known to man i think!

I got a wine aerator last Christmas. It hasn't come out of its box yet. And that's not because we haven't drunk any wine !

QuizteamB - you deserve a prize for that

My most recent (useful) Lakeland purchase was a cherry pitter - it's wicked and aslo de-stones olives so no more broken fillings for me.

My utter crap vote goes to DH's new cheese grater which is one of those old fashioned moulinex orange things with a hundred round barrels for all your grating/slicing needs. My Dad found it in the loft Shame DH doesn't want to wash it up after he's used 15 parts to get the 'perfect consistency of cheese' grrr

My colleagues and I had hours of fun looking at this website, who could find the most bizarre useless thing.
Some of them leave me speechless

www.tempsl.co.uk/uk/index.aspx

(Newsflash for anyone that doesn't peel, wash or overly-faff their mushrooms.... carry on. Commercially produced mushroom compost is steam-sterilised at high temps before use. V clean)

For useless kitchen gadget awards can I nominate the 'Giant Cupcake Mould' that I've just seen advertised on TV? I mean... once is funny. Who would use it twice?