to be on the verge of a breakdown after 3 days of single-parenting...

[Odysseus]

DH has been working long shifts for the last 3 days and as such, has not seen DS at all. I am KNACKERED.

I would like to take my hat off to single parents who do this day in day out. UTTER RESPECT.

Pass me the wine.

I think everything's got a bit crossed here and both OP and dissenters (namely Cordon) have gotten on the wrong side of a well-meaning fence.

I particularly think the poster who told Cordon to 'grow up' as she's only 23 is ludicrous by the way. You are telling a 23-year-old single parent of a 3-year-old to grow up - very patronising.

I'm not going to say 'good on you' to all single parents because ... um ... they still have to be parents?? But I will say a big WELL DONE to ALL parents regardless of situation, because navigating the ins and outs of raising children is BLOODY HARD WORK and there is nothing at all more distressing or rewarding in life.

I sometimes feel like a wealthy single parent. DH doesn't usually see the boys through the week at all and is often away on business for weeks at a time.

Obviously it isn't quite the same, but that wasn't what the OP was saying, just that she had a glimpse and was impressed by people who live it and hold it all together, as am I.

Would like to say I am surprised by the reaction to this post, but I am not, amused perhaps but not surprised.

Well I've got my glass of wine, so I'm sorted for the evening!

starberries why do SPs not deserve a well done, because they still have to be parents? but everyone who is a parent does deserve a well done?! I am discombobulated.

Oh, I am sure I'm going to get a roasting over this but I feel the need to say it anyway:

GET OVER YOURSELVES.

I am a LP... I deal with a 2 YO and a 1YO and I get on with it.

It's not that hard.

It really bugs me how many of you call the father of your kids twats / fuckwits... I simply cannot imagine how you would react if he were to do the same to you.

And, what's worse, the OP is actually trying to be nice to you and appreciate the difficulties, and all you can do is bitch.

youknowmeasharimo I'm feeling your love. Thank-you.

Thanks starberries, that comment was very patronising, I've had to grow up a hell of a lot since I found myself single and pregnant at 18. It goes without saying that I'm not as mature as someone twice my age, but I'd like you to show me many 23 year olds as mature as me. And not that I was immature, but hell whats wrong with being immature every now and again?!

Harimo - lots of absent fathers are twats and fuckwits! I know my ex is! And me calling him a twunt is nothing compared to what he did/does to me so I feel quite justified.

Have you not read recent posts where we've all calmed down and apologised ad been all diplomatic harimo?

youknow I agreed and thanked OP BUT did refer to ex-p as a fuckwit. But then again any man who thinks the pub and random one night stands are OK when you have a baby at home is a fuckwit in my eyes

Thanks OP for your lovely post. I am a LP, 100%. I get no assistance financially or otherwise. My DS hasn't even SEEN his DF for over 4 years.

I didn't find your post patronising. I actually felt like perhaps you, like many other lucky mums with DP/DHs just got a glimps and could appreciate the hard work and effort it takes to do it alone. Some people complain that lone parents get it easy, and it is good when people really, truly realise what a grind it can be.

My DSM never had kids of her own. It was only when she and my DF had my DS for a week so I could study abroad, that she fully realised what life is like day in day out. The fact that others acknowlege the feat, means a lot to me.

Odysseus - Can you feel it? been one of those days.. DD is ill... explosive nappies and projectile puke.

Apologies, am only just really reading the thread where I get to the bit where you all make up and disappear off happily into the sunset.

youknow hope dd is better soon

Feeling the love too!

Fwiw - exh is a Fuckwit so that's what I'll call him.

salizchap - how could anyone ever say LP-ing is easy??!

What a ridiculous thread. MN at it's worse.

We all have different experiences of being a mum. It comes easier to some people than others, irrespective of whether there's another parent around.

Personally I find looking after my small children quite depressing if I have to do it alone for any length of time - even a weekend stresses me out. I suffer a bit from PND that hasn't gone away and I have no family whatsoever but I've got a husband - so am I not allowed to moan a bit?

None one of you know the circumstances of other people. I don't know about "grow up", but "get a grip" comes to mind.

I'd find it even more depressing if exh was here. Thank goodness for small mercies as far as he's concerned.

OK, enough already.

Ody - how's it going?

Well I'm a true single parent.
No Dp to give me a break, no parents who can look after my Ds, but you know what, it isn't that hard.
I haven't known any different so it's the way it is and I am so happy with my 2 year old that I don't envy others.
I can watch what I like on TV, eat what I like, decide on schooling, discipline, everything. There are no arguments in this house.
But Op thank you for the well meaning compliment.

I suppose that was my point, MIxedupmartha... It's like if you have a husband, then the world is good and you should be smiling out of your own arse...

All mums have tough days - rich, poor, married, single - and we should be able to talk about that without it being a pissing competition about who has it hardest (I win, BTW )

But, there are lots of posts suggesting just that (now I've actually read them )

Not nice being patronised is it Cordon?

Is the wine still flowing?? DS asleep housework done (well ish ) and think its now time to partake

DH is back and I'm already longing for peace and quiet. Ahhh the grass is always greener!

I like the OP. You haven't said you're a single parent (which is what a lot of people say) but that you have had a window into what it might be like being a single parent.

Thank you - it's nice when other people realise it's hard work. No I wouldn't change it for the world but it is relentless.
:)

I love that name, Nameymcnamechange

Ody - my point exactly .