to refuse to put my ds1 in front of the tv all evening after school to avoid dh stressing over mess

[springchik]

My ds started school part time last week and full time next week. Last week my dc wanted to play play dough one morning - ds is doing afternoons at school. Anyway my ds2 aged 2 made his usual mess both dc had great fun. Dh came in from work during a very long break - like a split shift - and all hell broke loose. He was furious at the mess and play basicly ended and ds1 went to school stressed and dh was stresses at coming in to chaos. :( When I got in from dropping off ds1 play dough had been put away and ds2 was watching tv.

THis has happened many times before be it painting, play dough, moon sand, cutting and sticking. If he walk in on chaos after works and as with the nature of his work thats a different time every day/week he goes mad. I'm sure thats why ds never did painting at preschool. Dh said thats nothing to do with why he didnt paint there.

My mum witnessed it last week and said when ds starts school full time I need to put the tv on for the evening when we get in to avoid stress etc. I said I'm not prepared to do that not for all evening anyway as thats not fair on ds.

Ha, also just noticed the date

Bugger!

I know (obviously) that this is an old thread, but I don't understand why people have gone on about him needing a few mins to himself when that isn't even the issue. The issue was him not wanting the kids to do any sort of messy play and would be furious if they did, and was a clean freak to the extent where he was hoovering under their chairs as the kids ate.

I've never seen a thread go so far off on a tangent . . . well that's probably not true, but annoying none the less.

My dcs always were in bed by 7 and all "messy play" was over and tidied up by 5. I can't bear mess, and couldn't relax in the evening unless my house was in a reasonable state.
Between 5 and 7 they would have tea, bath, quiet stuff,bed.

Nothing to do with dh coming home from work.
Glad to then enjoy my evening after spending the day with them.
They would also help tidying too.

Just noticed date as well.

I just read this whole thread and thought, I'm sure I've seen this thread before

must look at the dates of threads in future

how about a couple of 'messy times' slot in your house ? so that your DH knows that if he finshes at those times it will be messy but also that it won't be like that all day.
My ds needs a bit of structure anyway ( or i do so that i can see the day progress and dinner time does not just appear on me! )

i sympathise, my DH is a bit of a neat freak and we live in a very small flat where any mess gets in the way really. But if he can see a end to the chaos then it is kind of more doable or he can just take himself off!

I think that being flexible with each other is just relationships really. He is mostly pretty flexible with my crap behaviour. works both ways really

What an utter CROCK OF SHIT some of these Stepford wives are spouting! I work FT, as soon as I have finished, I have to run by BUS to THREE seperate childcarers, pick up my dc, get home, cook dinner, do washing up, ironing, housework, dc's homework AND try to play with them. My fucking downtime is when I am asleep (for 5 whole hours maximum a night FFS).

I am an LP - and I would NEVER I repeat NEVER put up with a man trying to be such an arse where my dc were concerned. So there's a bit of mess? It fucking tidies doesn't it? And messy play is far and away more important for a child's development than watching bloody CBeebies or whatever.

OP - Your H, for example, is an arse. Tell him to grow up and accept that children make mess. They aren't children forever. If he doesn't like to come home to it, then maybe he shouldn't COME home!

Beautifully said Hunty

MrsRobertDuvall I don't really see what you not liking mess so having in all tidied up by 5, has to do with the OPs DH who comes home at all different times of the day and doesn't want the kids to make mess at any point, being furious if they do, and being furious if they make mess whilst eating. Seems miles apart to me.

I started reading this thread thinking I'm sure I've read this thread before. I checked the date 'Tues 21 Sept'. Okay it's a new thread. I got about 3/4s down the first page before it occurred to me to check the year

WhoseGotMyEyebrows I blame you

I was just making conversation.
I shall go and do some tidying.

Chaotic yes it is completely my fault although I am still outraged by it!

Would love the OP to turn up and tell us how things are now.

Ahem, sorry MrsRobertDuvall [scuttles off]