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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a bit inappropriate or am I being too PC

102 replies

Ladyanonymous · 17/09/2010 21:08

I hope this post doesn't seem icky I don't mean it to - I would really like to know what other people think.

Have 3 DCs, DS1 13, DD 11, DS2 8.

Have partners 2 DD's staying pretty regularly aged 3 and 5.

Thing is whenever they come their mum sends them with really short nighties and he never makes them wear any knickers and they play really boisterously and completely innocently with my kids for a few hours whole they are all in their night gear, so everything is on view as it were.

AIBU to feel this isn't appropriate esp for my 13 yr old DS? I have suggested to OH that it might be better if they wore some knickers...or am I being overly concerned about something which is just innocent??

I work in CP so don't know if my judgement is somewhat clouded - hence my post...

OP posts:
2shoes · 17/09/2010 21:12

i know where your coming from but I wouldn't worry too much, if your ds is uncomfortable(as they can be at that age, just buy them some pretty pants

Alambil · 17/09/2010 21:13

I'd make them wear knickers for their modesty and the potential embarrassment of your eldest seeing his little sister's bits...

needafootmassage · 17/09/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BAFE · 17/09/2010 21:13

Can everyone not stay fully dressed until bedtime?

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 17/09/2010 21:14

They are not his sisters - thats the point....

OP posts:
Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 17/09/2010 21:15

They get in their PJ's and watch a DVD together....

OP posts:
DavidDickheadson · 17/09/2010 21:15

I think it could be embarrassing for your older DS because, well, most things are embarrassing when you're 13, aren't they?

There is nothing inappropriate about children being naked and happy about it in their own homes but because there is quite an age gap and the upper end age is at a time when some issues will become sensitive for the child it needs approaching with consideration for all.

Why not buy them both a lovely new pair of pyjamas, with trousers for when they stay at yours?

Anenome · 17/09/2010 21:15

Oh I don't think you're being PC! It is correct that their bits are covered...when any non family members are present.

I don't let my kids wander about like that in front of people.

TheFirstLady · 17/09/2010 21:16

I wouldn't have a problem with this at all. Making them cover up in my view, would be making them believe their bodies are something to be embarrassed about, which at such a young age would be rather sad.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/09/2010 21:16

agree either knickers or pj's need to be worn or dont wear nightwear till go to bed

RobynLou · 17/09/2010 21:18

I'd be concerned about them getting cold as the weather turn at this time of year more than flashing their bits!

BAFE · 17/09/2010 21:19

"They get in their PJ's and watch a DVD together...."

I thought you said they wore short nighties Confused

Anyway, is there any reason why they can't watch a DVD in their day clothes?

pointydog · 17/09/2010 21:19

I'd tell teh little ones to put knickers on, definitely.

pagwatch · 17/09/2010 21:21

"They are not his sisters - thats the point...."

well yes , except it isn't really the point and it doesn't change the advice
If you or they or he are concerned about modesty then find a nice way to cover them up.

My ds was 12 /13/ 14 when DD had her friends come over and run around after bath, changing after school etc etc aged 3/4/5.
The issue is mostly about embaressment as he had no more awkwardness/interest in seeing them naked than he did his sister.

But it is not a big issue. Just put them in pjs or let them change imediately before bed

Lovinmybois · 17/09/2010 21:28

Yanbu. I was camping last year & my friends daughter was playing in her nighty with no knickers on. I just said to the little girl 'you'd better cover up sweetheart, you dont want people seeing your bits'. I was feeling quite uncomfortable with it. There's an easy solution, as long as you dont stress about it.

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 17/09/2010 21:29

Sorry nighties is PJ's here...we have a blanket term for nightwear.

I know its not a biggy its just OH looked a bit offended when I brought it up...and I just wondered what other people thought....

OP posts:
TheFirstLady · 17/09/2010 21:32

Lovinmybois - if you had said that to my DD I would have been rather Hmm with you.

booyhoo · 17/09/2010 21:33

i would buy them some lovely jammies. i totally understand how he could be embarrased by it.

RobynLou · 17/09/2010 21:35

I think the freedom and innocence of a young child when they're naked and obviously haven't a single hang up about it is a beautiful thing.

I'd be v Hmm if you said that to my DD Lovinmybois

hairytriangle · 17/09/2010 21:35

Well they are only 3 and 5. Why would that embarrass a 13 year old? I don't get it.

Why do people feel so uncomfortable about really small children and their 'bits'? Surely it's unhealthy to make them feel 'modest' or ashamed of their sexual organs, which aren't actually sexual until they reach puberty?

I too would have been mightily pissed off with Lovinmybois if she's said that to one of my children.

Indelible · 17/09/2010 21:37

What does your 13-year-old DS think - have you asked him? He may well not care. Alternatively, if it does bother him, then you can work on a suitable solution.

pagwatch · 17/09/2010 21:38

ditto re Lovinmybois comment.

i would be pissed off with anyone telling my DD that !

ReneRusso · 17/09/2010 21:39

I think you are being overly concerned. They are just little babes really, and I don't think it should matter. I really wouldn't say 'you'd better cover up' as it would be wrong to make them feel ashamed of themselves.

DandyLioness · 17/09/2010 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pocketmonster · 17/09/2010 21:41

I think YABU - as others have said, they are little innocent children. Why is it such an issue seeing their naked bodies?

I would be very uncomfortable making it an issue with my DD's who are 5 and 6.

But if you are all uncomfortable just buy them some pretty pyjamas just don't say why.