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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wear a black dress to a wedding?

118 replies

LisaD1 · 16/09/2010 19:50

I am a big girlBlush and have had a dress picked out for a wedding tomorrow. I NEVER wear dresses and am suddenly feeling really unsure about the one I had been planning on wearing..

so, is it acceptable to wear a black dress with a lilac shrug/bag/fascinator or a silver pashmina, to a plush wedding?

Or AIBU?

Not sure if it makes a difference but the groom is DH's boss and I've never met the bride.

Thanks.

OP posts:
redmoooon · 16/09/2010 19:51

We got married 3 weeks ago and lots of people wore black :) some very nice people also wore white Angry

thelunar66 · 16/09/2010 19:52

I think with those accessories you should be ok. It's not summer anymore, so you may feel weird in a floaty flowery summery thing.

mistletoekisses · 16/09/2010 19:53

Gawd, hate to say this since the wedding is tomorrow. But I would say YABU.

Especially since the relationship is a professional one. It would definitely be commented on.

You dont have to wear a dress, is there a nice trouser/top in your wardrobe that would do?

newgirl · 16/09/2010 19:53

have you any other options at this stage? is it a day or evening do? if evening then I'm sure you will feel quite at home but I think it is going to be a sunny day tom so lots of people may be in more colourful clothes?

Original poster
LisaD1 · 16/09/2010 19:53

Oh no, I would NEVER wear white! But am having a confidence crisis about the black! Thanks & congrats Smile

OP posts:
taintedpaint · 16/09/2010 19:55

The black and silver sound like a lovely combination. I think it's totally okay to wear a black dress as long as you accessorize it.

Mowgli1970 · 16/09/2010 19:55

I think it's fine to wear black. Wear what you feel comfortable in, then you'll be more confident. I wore an outfit a couple of weeks ago and couldn't dance as my heels were killing me and my trousers were slipping down all the time! I felt so self conscious!

Original poster
LisaD1 · 16/09/2010 19:55

It's a day do in a medieval hall in very posh grounds.

Oh god, I can see a last minute dash to the shops coming!

OP posts:
bigfootbeliever · 16/09/2010 19:55

Wear whatever you want as long as it's smart enough!

lucy101 · 16/09/2010 19:56

I've worn black to lots of weddings, and so did guests at mine. I never had a second thought about it actually.

A guest at a friend's wedding wore a long white designer dress though... the bride was pretty fed up about it!

anonacfr · 16/09/2010 19:56

Absolutely. Black is very chic at weddings IMO.

I wore black at my sister's wedding! Grin

mazzystartled · 16/09/2010 19:57

of course it's fine, it can be smart and elegant. especially for an autumn wedding, and especially if its a city venue, and especially if you are a minor guest.

i'd only give it a second thought if if it were an old flame's wedding, or in a country church on a scorching day in june.

perfumedlife · 16/09/2010 19:57

Loads of folk wore black to my wedding. I think we would be a bit rude to moan about it, as women we love black for being so forgiving. So cut the guests some slack, black is good, it works for day and evening.

You will be fine, especially with colour accesories.

I also had two 'friends' wear white to my wedding. Lucky my dress was silver blue.Angry

roomonthebroom · 16/09/2010 20:02

My SIL wore a black dress to a wedding a few weeks ago and looked lovely. When I said 'lovely dress' she said it was the dress she wore when she was a bridesmaid for her best friend- seems like fashions are changing, or maybe people don't stick so much to the traditional any more.

I'm a bigger girl too and I wore black trousers with purple top and accessories and didn't look at all out of place.

Wear what makes you feel comfortable and enjoy the day!

gingerkirsty · 16/09/2010 20:05

I wouldn't have batted an eyelash if someone had worn black to my wedding in the manner you are suggesting. If it was my MIL and she dressed in full mourning gear (as I have read in some threads on MN!) I would def have taken exception, but someone who has clearly just worn a nice black dress and then gone with colourful accessories I wouldn't have a problem with or indeed even noticed! Trying to think but actually can't remember whether anyone wore black in fact.

Have a lovely day :)

UselessEmployee · 16/09/2010 20:05

Have you got a colourful scarf/jewellry/bag/tights/other accessories? I think as long as you're not completely black, you'll be fine. Some bold, bright colours would make a real statement.

Winedine69me · 16/09/2010 20:10

I think black is totally fine as long as it is suitable for the wedding i.e not too short/revealing etc.

A couple of women (including one of my witnesses) wore white to our wedding. Angry

mumeeee · 16/09/2010 20:11

I wore a black dress to a friends wedding a few years ago.

mamapetal · 16/09/2010 20:28

My brothers getting married soon - it's a very posh do. I'm wearing a grey/black dress I got from Primark for £8.00 Blush. In my defence I do look good in it - I wouldn't look any better if I wore a £80 dress!!! Or would I .....

Odysseus · 16/09/2010 20:32

It really wouldn't have occurred to me if people had work black to my wedding, cream/white is another matter, but only because my Mum goes on about that! I'd have noticed, but it wouldn't have bothered me.

I have a wedding this weekend and was contemplating black... Hadn't occurred to me that it might be frowned upon, only that I might not be able to squeeze my huge nunga-nungas into it...

MrsC2010 · 16/09/2010 20:46

Didn't bother me at mine.

lilyliz · 16/09/2010 20:51

I wore a black dress to a wedding this summer and dressed it up with red accessories.I felt good and got a lot of good comments,so go ahead.

BeenBeta · 16/09/2010 21:06

DW wore a simple Little Black Dress with pashmina and a massive black and white statement hat.

The dress worked well at the evening do as well.

BeenBeta · 16/09/2010 21:08

I also like this outfit on the right.

lazylula · 16/09/2010 21:15

I wore a black dress to my friend's wedding in Feb, I was a bit nervous about it but actually there was quite a few ladies wearing black. I know of 2 weddings last year where the bridesmaids wore black dresses so I don't see the problem.

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