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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wear a black dress to a wedding?

118 replies

LisaD1 · 16/09/2010 19:50

I am a big girlBlush and have had a dress picked out for a wedding tomorrow. I NEVER wear dresses and am suddenly feeling really unsure about the one I had been planning on wearing..

so, is it acceptable to wear a black dress with a lilac shrug/bag/fascinator or a silver pashmina, to a plush wedding?

Or AIBU?

Not sure if it makes a difference but the groom is DH's boss and I've never met the bride.

Thanks.

OP posts:
YorkshireTeaDrinker · 17/09/2010 17:33

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. What you are planning to wear sounds very appropriate.

arthursmum · 17/09/2010 17:47

Fellow big girl here, and I totally approve of a black dress, am wearing this one - www.chicstar.com/storefront/viewDetailProduct.aspx?flagSide=0&sku=37710&color=Black to a wedding in November and going all 1940's with hair, make up and accessories - have a great time!

pamelat · 17/09/2010 18:41

Black fine. I know a recent wedding where bridesmaids in black

White, totally unreasonable!!!

SouthMum · 17/09/2010 19:24

yanbu

the view that you cant wear black to a wedding is soooo old fashioned

GetToFalkirk · 17/09/2010 19:48

I wore black to my own wedding. Don't see what the fuss is about.

scotagm · 17/09/2010 20:09

The last wedding I went to was a very posh affair in a top London hotel.

Everything I wore was black. I did have a slight worry about this but when I got there almost every women, of every age, was in black. (The wedding was in December).

Black is totally ok.

stripes02 · 17/09/2010 20:15

agree black is totally OK.

in fact more than OK: very chic and therefore brilliant if your DH work colleagues etc are there.

atmywitssend · 17/09/2010 20:21

I really wouldn't and didn't notice who wore what a my wedding. If you feel comfortable - go for it! Have a great day.

PuzzleRocks · 17/09/2010 20:22

I have a family wedding in a few weeks. I intend to wear black just as I did at my own wedding.

I checked Debretts and there is nothing to suggest black is not acceptable.

lovely74 · 17/09/2010 20:24

Ten years ago I bought a very funky black dress for a wedding I was going to where all the guests would be in designer stuff, but I knew noone else would have my particular dress. I accesorised it with lilac (hat, flower), and it looked fab. I then wore it for every wedding I went to for two years. I didn't give the fact it was black a second thought!

My bridesmaids wore black at my wedding as it's lovely and classic and suits everyone.

A few years ago a friend of mine went to the wedding of a friend of her partners, and wore a white suit. I was quite shocked at the time but kept quiet. There's a photo of the bride and groom with his school friends and their partners, and she's right at the front of it, and it's the first thing you notice!

I think very few people would get annoyed by a black dress, especially if you accessorise with lovely bright things. If you're comfortable in the dress then don't give it a second thought and have fun.

mellifluouscauliflower · 17/09/2010 20:29

I think it's OK. But not sure it is OK if you are mother of the bride or groom. In which case people might think you are making a statement..

poshsinglemum · 17/09/2010 20:31

Whats wrong with wearing white to a wedding?

The only reason why the bride wears it is because it symbolises virginity which is highly unlikely in this day and age anyways. Why do you all consider it a threat or snub if your guests wear white?

RamblingRosa · 17/09/2010 20:32

YANBU. I wouldn't dream of wearing black to a wedding though. Lots of people do though and as long as the happy couple aren't offended then who cares?

MumtoF · 17/09/2010 20:32

I agree, fine to wear black as long as you accessorize it with a different colour. I frequently have as did people to my wedding. Only time it would be an obvious issue is if you were the ex or mother of the groom and styled like a widow!

PfftTheMagicDragon · 17/09/2010 20:49

I would not mind if you wore black to my wedding. In fact, I can't even remeber everyone who was at my wedding, let alone what they were wearing. I also wouldn't care if you wore white though,.

weasle · 17/09/2010 21:05

i have been to loads of weddings wearing black with colourful accessories - pashmna, hat etc. i think it looks nice (and makes 1 black maternity/bf dress do for several occasions!)

i have been a bridesmaid twice and both times worn black as chosen by the bride.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/09/2010 21:18

i would not wear an all black or an all white dress to a wedding

but fine to have a black/white patterned one

Waltons · 17/09/2010 21:48

My SiL didn't approve of DH marrying me and she wore black. Just black, black, black. Not chic or accessorised, just plain black.

Her choice of wedding present was also (from our list) a Sabatier kitchen knife ...

Traditionally black was reserved for funerals and mourning, but it was also used as a mark of disapproval at weddings, especially from mothers and other close female relatives of either the bride or groom.

SiL's got over it now (only took her 19 years) and I've learned not to growl when I see the wedding photos.

The knife is still in the kitchen and we haven't killed each other with it yet.

Lucy88 · 17/09/2010 21:48

Have to say that I have had a little chuckle at this thread. When I got married I really wasn't bothered what anyone wore or the colour (even white). All I wanted was for everyone to have a great day.

Only Bridezilla's worry about the colour of clothes that other people wear. If they are having an amazing day, they shouldn't even be spending their time looking at and worrying about what their guests are wearing.

ParanoidAtAllTimes · 17/09/2010 22:01

Lucy88: well said.

I wore black to a friend's wedding with a colourful cardie and I don't think anyone was offended!

However this thread has really got me worrying about a dress I recently wore to a couple of summer weddings- a white linen dress with black and greenish blue detailing. It didn't occur to me that it could be seen as inappropriate! Was I making a huge blunder?

Confused
Lotkinsgonecurly · 17/09/2010 22:05

I would, in fact am doing so next week.!

KnackeredCow · 17/09/2010 22:10

ParanoidAtAllTimes I think what you wore was completely appropriate. It had coloured detailing. I think people are referring to all white (as I was earlier). My mum wore a black and white dress to my wedding; she looked stunning. In actual fact, she was worried about buying the dress (because of the B/W colour scheme) and took me to see it for my approval!

And like you, I agree completely with what Lucy88 said.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/09/2010 22:23

paranoid,no your dress was fine :)

ParanoidAtAllTimes · 17/09/2010 22:36

Knackered and Blondes- thank you!

thumbwitch · 18/09/2010 01:45

Just in case you need more back up than you have here, this topic crops up every few months so you would be able to search for it :)

I think it is fine to wear black with colour/light accessories. I have done so myself, with no adverse comments (and it was such a hot day I had to lose the accessories quite quickly). I wouldn't ever wear all white or all cream to a wedding but can't see a problem with black (so long as it's not in the style of Queen Victoria)

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