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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking 7 years old is not too young to walk 65 ft to the school bus

126 replies

DuelingFanjo · 14/09/2010 10:46

story

how ridiculous of the council.

OP posts:
mamatilly · 14/09/2010 19:20

if the bus driver feels he has to accompany child across the road, then something has to change.

he cannot seriously be expected to accompany any solo children across road leaving numerous children alone on a bus.

so the council can either

(a) request that parents accompany children to/from bus

(b) employ uncaring bus-drivers.

kodokan · 14/09/2010 19:59

Absolute tosh - kids here (Switzerland) walk 10 mins or so to school alone from the age of about 5. At 4, when they start kindergarten, the local police come into the classroom (complete with their guns at their belts!) and do road crossing training, because it's expected that they will soon need to know this. Off they crocodile, and drill it over and over, talking about different scenarios, model it all through, etc.

I know situations differ, and one child is not the same as a village full of kids trotting around unaccompanied, but it's a 7 yr old. Walking about the distance from most people's back garden to their front gate. Stupid old biddiness on the part of council and whoever reported it.

Mspontipine · 14/09/2010 20:12

It's no longer an issue anyway. According to the father

"This has got so much public attention that we will have to be outside with her for the foreseeable future because now everyone knows there is a seven-year-old standing on the side of the road every morning."

Snobear4000 · 14/09/2010 20:26

I was riding a bike to school aged seven. But then again I turned out to be a rather undisciplined nihilist, if that helps.

Strix · 14/09/2010 20:48

I think the council is abusing their powers and should spend their resources more wisely. However, my 7 year is not allowed to cross a road on her own. And I certainly wouldn't let her walk to a bus stop and get on the bus without me (or another adult). Although we live in West London so perhaps more traffic and hoodlems around.

brassband · 14/09/2010 20:55

Reading between the lines I am guessing it was more a concern that the 2 things could be a sign of a wider pattern of neglect, rather than they were in themselves neglect

spler · 14/09/2010 21:15

haven't seen the article but I love this subject as it makes me think about how different my children's lives are to mine when I was growing up.
Like Strix we live in W London /Middlesex. NOBODY around here lets a 7 year old out alone. My 7 year old DS is 8 in a few days, he got a call at the weekend from a friend who lives about 3 mins away across our cul de acs. He begged to go to his friend's and couldn't wait for me to take him so I called the mum and for the first time we let my DS run to his friend's while i stood watching and she called me the minute he was there.
I am not a fretty mum but I would be so JUDGED if I let him out alone.
Other mums recently were being very sniffy about the 11 year olds who were allowed to the park alone. Mine still doesn't go anywhere without an escort. She walks to school with 3 others and this was all planned out among the parents before Secondary school started.
It's not right. It's just how it is here. Very different to my upbringing. I would be SHOCKED to see a 7 year old out alone around here.

domesticsluttery · 14/09/2010 21:16

My two sons, aged 6 and 8, walked the half mile to school and back without an adult today.

They don't every day, but DD is ill so couldn't really leave the house.

The boys know how to cross the road safely (the council and parent volunteers spend 6 months teaching them road safety in Yr 1), and the road is not busy as we live in a rural area.

I am happy with them walking unaccompanied and so is their HT. Lots of children walk home without an adult here.

senua · 14/09/2010 21:26

I heard an expert from UCL on the radio saying that a survey forty years ago showed that 80% of 7 y.o. got themselves to school unaccompanied. The survey was re-run in 1990 and it was down to 9%. Now it is a child protection matter.Hmm

glenthamgirl · 14/09/2010 21:45

I live in this village and know this road very well.

It is very very narrow... all the bus has to do is not pull up tight to the curb, thereby blocking the road and enabling the little girl to cross safely in front of him. There is not room for a car to overtake while the bus is stationary.

There is no blind corner - there is a clear view of the road in both directions.

It is effectively a narrow country lane.

It is in a 30 mph speed limit.

There is very little traffic. I use this road to do my running. I run about 4 or 5pm and in one hour I count about half a dozen cars in either direction.

glenthamgirl · 14/09/2010 21:47

Now I know my name change worked..... I am a neighbour of this family.

ivykaty44 · 14/09/2010 21:51

it is a sad day when a child gettign themselves to school on their own makes headline news...Sad jsut the same in NY with a lad on the tube getting to and fro from school.

it is noraml behaviour for a child to be able to do this type of trip on the bus to school

vbusymum1 · 14/09/2010 21:55

glenthamgirl - I heard the lady from the council on Radio 5 this morning admitting that they got the tone of the letter wrong and it did make me wonder if there is more to this. Surely local authorities have better things to do than write letters about the lack of cardigans (I'd better expect something similar).
Are there other concerns or do they really have nothing else to do.

TheCrackFox · 14/09/2010 21:58

If it was a matter for child protection (reading between the lines type thing) then it would be immediately passed onto Social Services not a handy warning letter sent out. Some jobs worth has got completely carried away, hence the fact the council has backed down.

senua · 14/09/2010 22:06

You do wonder what was going through their minds. With all this talk about cuts in staffing in public services would you be doing daft, jobsworth things like this at the moment?

TheCrackFox · 14/09/2010 22:10

Hmm, yes I wonder who will be at the top of the list for losing his/her job with the imminent cuts? What a prat.

ivykaty44 · 14/09/2010 22:19

kodokan - but all the chidlren are allowed to do it and the swiss aren't daying "oh but we recommend being 8 years old before being let out alone" and the parents then keep all there chidlren in side and escort them

Whereas in nederlands etc the 5 year old chidlren are out goign to school with all their friends

perhaps we should campaign to let chidlren out alone and get them walking to school together and chat on the way

spiritmum · 14/09/2010 22:24

I would have been in agreement that this is daft were it not for the fact that a friend of my cousin was killed getting off a school bus - a car overtook and he stepped out in front of it, on a quiet lane. He was 13.

Our dc's school allows KS2 children to walk home alone and also escort younger siblings so long as they have a letter from the parents.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/09/2010 22:29

SanctiMoniArse

When I said its either alright for a 7yo to walk to the bus/back home or its not I meant a 7yo in this day and age from the same village. Sorry, maybe wasn't clear but was talking about the fact that some people were saying that the council had other concerns about this family as well.

Thats why I made the point in the same post about what if there was a 7yo who lived next door to this 7yo - would it be ok for them to walk to the bus as long as there was no other concerns.

If the concerns are about something else then those concerns need addressing, not pretending to be worried about something else.

I wasn't meaning about 7yos from back in the day, or from big cities, etc.

BoffinMum · 14/09/2010 22:37

Lincolnshire CC used to expect children to do this in rural Roxby after they closed the local school there to save money, and bussed them to Winterton instead.

How times have changed.

Clary · 14/09/2010 23:33

DH knows this road and he also says it is a very very quiet country lane, not a busy road as the council is implying.

I was flabbergasted at the quoting of the alleged NSPCC guidelines - as they actually say that no child under 12 should be left unsupervised.

Now that is nonsense, surely. Dangerous nonsense too. When will our DC learn any independence?

proudfoot · 15/09/2010 01:37

Gosh, all this fuss about a little girl walking 20 metres! Hmm

I think the dad sounds perfectly reasonable.

FattyArbuckel · 15/09/2010 06:42

Clary agree the NSPCC guidelines are dangerous nonsense re never leaving a child alone under 12 years old.

I have left my dd alone for short periods since the age of 10. She has also gone to the local park alone from the same age.

needafootmassage · 15/09/2010 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gorionine · 15/09/2010 07:47

Kodokan, I grew up in Switzerland and I am so pleased things seem to not have changed in that respect. DSis's DD walkes 5 minutes (has done so from the age of 7) to her bus stop to take a bus to the next village as there are no junior schools in her village.

I used to walk 1k on my own at the age of 5 (Mum came the first day to show the way)

I think if there is nothing more to that story it is completely ridiculous.

IMHO the NSPCC guideline is just what it is, a guideline so can be adapted to suit the childs maturity surely.

I had once to leave Ds2 (8 ATT) alone for an hour as he was poorly and I had to get his siblings to school. Choices were:

  1. not get the siblings to school

  2. send the siblings to school for a 1 mile walk along a busy road

  3. drag DS with us for the journey when he was clearly not fit for it.

  4. get the siblings tp school leaving DS with a dvd and the phone (called him twice to check on him, he did not call me as nothing went wrong)

Option 4 made much more sense.

Maybe the Council could change the bus route so that she does not need to cross the road if the are so convinced that her parents are absolutely unable to assess the riscks?Smile