Perfectly reasonable things which you unreasonably unreasonable about

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Names with umlauts in them, unless you live in Germany or nordic lands. I don't mind accents in names, or that funny dot above the i in Irish names, but names with umlauts in get on my tits. Especially Zoë. Everyone can pronounce it when it is spelled Zoe. It is just attention seeking.

1st -shot = shit. I was obviously too keen to get to the shooting.

people saying "happy days" when describing something good. It's very irratating.

People calling other people "dude"

the use of "LOL" especially in every fucking sentence of a text or email. It isn't funny.

Actually there's nothing particularly unreasonable about this - but I'll say it anyway. People who get to the top of the escalator....AND THEN JUST STAND THERE.

Move out of the way you dozy fuckers.

I've thought of another - the text alert tone on ds2's mobile - makes me want to rip it out of his hands and jump up and down on it until it is in flinders. And it goes off all the bloody time - and I should be pleased about it because it means he's got a big group of friends which is so much better than his last school where he had only one friend who bullied him - and never got any text messages - but still, that tone is like fingers down a blackboard.

And the dses listening to their mp3s in the car so they don't hear when we say something to them.

Reality - I agree with you about the fat thing - people who eat low-fat margarine!
why not, either have butter, but less of it, or nothing on your sandwiches?
When i have a sandwich i never have butter/spread on it, and I can still taste the filling!
(and i use butter in cakes and mashed potatoes etc)

Totally agree nancy.

The smell of tea and coffee - makes me nauseous - and therefore the fact that every coffee shop ever feels the need to pump the smell of said coffee into the surrounding area making me gag. If it weren't for Amazon, I'd never be able to buy a book again, bleeding Waterstones/Costa gang up, I used to love book shops

Saying brought when you mean bought or the phrase "I done it"

People who drive significantly under the speed limit or who don't indicate

People eating with mouth open

The fact that my MIL feels the need to ring/skype DH at least daily if not more. He's been at work all day, I want him to myself now!!!

The fact that my freezer has broken down a week after I defrosted and refilled it!

People who tut behind me on escalators because I am stood still on it. Take your tutting to the sodding stairs and leave the escalators free for us lazy types.

Women who look after their DH's passport. So you have a bloke who looks at your gormlessly at passport control etc right at the start of your holiday, and makes you think evilly 'I am not your effing mother, look after you own passport' but you don't, as you want to make sure he doesn't leave said passport in the bar, on the side of the urinal, in the duty free shop.

Yes I am talking about myself here.

Other people sneezing, unless it's one sneeze, done very discreetly.

People who block aisles in supermarkets with trolley/fat arse, or who dawdle in front of me with trolley.

People who say 'only 3 sleeps' when they are excited about something.

AlCrowley - finally, someone else who retches at the smell of coffee!
I had an author here on Saturday doing an event, and she had a flask of black coffee. the smell was all over the shop and i thought i was going to vmoit!

nickelbabe - I had lunch with my mum at the weekend. She ate some rich cheesey starter, lasagne, garlic bread and finished with cheesecake WITH CREAM....then kicked up a massive fuss because the restaurant didn't have any sweet n low for her coffee.

DH not putting bowls/saucepans back in their respective cupboards, stacked neatly in size order.

DH flaming me for the mess in the kitchen, when all I've done is open the cupboard door, and said bowls/saucepans tumble out onto the floor, missing my foot by mm.

DH using my most hated and least used knife (the boning knife - why have one FFS?!) to cut up DS's sandwiches for lunch.

Boning knife flying out of the dishwasher when I pull out the top drawer, and impaling itself in the lino exactly where my foot was 2 milliseconds earlier.

I second the dog cleaning itself too - most disgusting noise ever!

oh, and Al, come to my shop - it never smells of tea or coffee!

just lots of lovely lovely books....

Nancy -

Ooops Nancy - I do actually get off of the escalator...I don't just stand there!

QuiteFickleDobby - If you are standing on the right YANBU, if you are standing on the left YABU.

People who have stupid stupid tunes as their ringtone and has said ringtone on while at work

People who

• take up the whole pavement
• stop in the middle of the pavement for no apparent reason
• walk very very slowly, and don't get out of the way
• walk along, slowly, texting/checking their email
• walk along slowly, reading the Metro. I can guarantee you taht there is nothing that interesting in the Metro which warrants you having to read it once you get off the tube. Trust me on this

Can you tell I went to Oxford Street yesterday?

People who spit on the street
People who refer to others as "mate" (unless obviously, they are actually their friend, but even then, don't use it for me)
People who think that they are entitled, for no f*cking reason, to ask extensive questions about my personal life when they meet me for the first time

ooh yes "only 3 sleeps"

I hate the smell of coffee too, but only milky coffee - I love black coffee. I especially hate the milky coffee smell when it's on someone's breath.

Drivers who go 40 miles an hour on fab straight roads - and 40 miles an hour through villages with a 30/20 speed limit - they usually wear hats.

Women who moan about having put bit of weight on to me - where are their manners? I'm a size 16. These women are invariably skinny and run about 10k a day.

blimey, Abs is in a mood!

Don't mind high heels (as long as I don't have to wear em) but get unreasonably peeved at seeing white high heels with black tights. Ditto skinny jeans & bare midriff with a pot belly hanging out (and it's not just the oldies... too many kids look like this these days, get a reality check and put a blouse over it FFS), anything on a web page that moves, aaaaggghhh just hold STILL and let me read willya, and (nerd alert) people saying something is unique when they only mean that it's unusual. There. Feel better now.

newborns in denim
pierced ears in children younger than 8
children in designer clothes
parents who let their children drink cola from a formula bottle
parents who buy their kids a £300 bike and dont get them a £10 safety helmet