Perfectly reasonable things which you unreasonably unreasonable about

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Names with umlauts in them, unless you live in Germany or nordic lands. I don't mind accents in names, or that funny dot above the i in Irish names, but names with umlauts in get on my tits. Especially Zoë. Everyone can pronounce it when it is spelled Zoe. It is just attention seeking.

Minx - those same women also sing along to Gloria Gaynors I will Survive, all the while gesticulating and pointing at their menfolk.

They also like a bit of leopard print and fake Vuitton handbags.

And those fucking drunken uncles who do that odd bendy over dance to Status Quo. Shoot 'em all.

people "acting out" the grease medley incorporating "the one that I want" greased lightening" "summer nights" and "we go together" badly and embarrassingly (trying to sing the shobba dooba dooba de wop dewop bit to we go together is especially crngeworthy)

the conga

the birdie song

agadoo

oops upside your head

people who sit down to "sit down" by James

OOh Oops upside your head is such a disappointment.

You enter it with such a spirit of fun. Then you find ouit that you are sat in front of sweaty Uncle Gilbert and behind a pissed cousin who you had a fight with at school. Then when you have finished you realise you have sat in half a pint of spilled bitter.

This is why I can NEVER go to any party that is multi-generational, involves that hideous mixture of family and friends, and is held in a church hall.

And there is always a mad old auntie in her slippers who has to be taken home early because the noise is playing havoc with her hearing aid.

But actually, at least she has the good grace to go home, as opposed to the other mad auntie, who insists on doing that stange dance where she kicks one foot up behind her and touches it with the opposite hand. Very northern working mens' club circa 1975, that. Like a strange British forerunner to line dancing.

Fellatio - I take it you have never been to a Northern Sould dance. I have - nearly split my sides laughing at the dances.

I was the youngest person there by MILES, they were very welcoming but bloody hell I couldn't dance like that if I tried - I would have to be double jointed (and more drunk)

getorf I think they're more than just drunk at northern soul, I too was the youngest (think i was 22 at the time), it was at the Kings Hall in Stoke where I'd previously taken my A levels 4 years previously.

strange but highly amusing.

Slurping tea and coffee. Have sat in meetings trying to strangle slurpy colleagues with the power of thought and missed entire gist of discussion.

Can't stand DH holding his breath more than 3 seconds - he has a habit to breathe in and then hold - I panic that he stopped breathing

Can't have DH touching me while I'm holding a knife or hot drink/kettle etc or just while I'm busy

My mum using the word 'jobby' when she can't think of the name of something. I once told her how much it irritates me but I think she actually does it more since I said that...

People (who know me quite well) who ask me how I have my tea and then completely ignore my answer by putting half a pint of milk in and no sugar.

'Ooh, do you have sugar?' YES! I know it's virtually illegal, but YES! I told you one minute ago in response to your own question.

people who call barms/rolls/baps "teacakes" even breadcakes is more acceptable.

note to (mainly yorkshire) people who do this, teacakes have currants in ok??

Parties.I hate them,all of them.

I'm with you on parties, LTBR.

People who hang the loo roll the Wrong Way Round.

Having to listen to men eating things (women don't annoy me as much). My dad eating a banana will make me leave the room.

DH's breath in the middle of the night, even though I know he flosses and cleans assidiously.

Spiders - the way they only appear when it's too late/dark to go and get help in removing so I have to watch the damn thing like a hawk to make sure it doesn't suddenly disappear and end up on my head.

People who say about said spiders "oooh they won't hurt you" or "they're more scared of you than you are of them". Next month's wages says they're not and yes I know it's irrational but I really am bloody scared so stop picking on me!

People who constantly spell 'weird' wrong. It is not 'wierd'!!!!

People who drive at 40mph whether they're in a 20 zone or on the motorway.

People leaving dirty dishes in an empty sink. Please don't do this, leave them next to the sink so I don't have to take them out to fill up the sink and then put them back in again to wash them!!!

And breathe

'Wacky funky' hairstyles on women old enough to know better. Especially if they involve flat bits juxtaposed with hedgehoggy bits, all on the one head. And if they need 'product' in order to work. And if they are vaguely purple coloured.

HA!! Fellatio I so agree with the funky hairstyles on larger women . I blame Sharon Osborne.

People who use the word 'journey' for anything that hasn't involved an actual journey.

I hate the use of the word 'pop' when used to mean go somewhere.

Neavesy and don't forget they always go on their 'journey' via rollercoaster!

People who describe an episode of a TV show they watched last night in great detail, even though I have just told them I never watch that show.

when the say(on tv)
west ham V Chelsea

It is Verses(sp)
drives me mad lol

That's right Fellatio, it's never an uncomfortable and tedious journey that seemed to drag on forever, like the Tube during Friday rush hour, is it?