Perfectly reasonable things which you unreasonably unreasonable about

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Names with umlauts in them, unless you live in Germany or nordic lands. I don't mind accents in names, or that funny dot above the i in Irish names, but names with umlauts in get on my tits. Especially Zoë. Everyone can pronounce it when it is spelled Zoe. It is just attention seeking.

Also: Perfectly reasonable things ABOUT WHICH you are perfectly unreasonable....

but that's hitting splairs... .

kissing on the nose.

Conversations when one people involved is on the toilet. (Do not try to talk to me through the door, I will not respond)

Amazon recommendations for me.

Agree about the flappy thing to stop yourself crying - wtf.
Also men with wet flappy lips
I must add: people who pronounce the names of places in the local accent, eg "Amanda and I went to Paree for the weekend" (agree re Amandas)

Oh the dog licking it's arse noise. Thought it was just me who can't stand it

Seriously, it makes me heave.

OOh special

Oh the shame. I am surprised that the pedants have not yet been on this thread to spear me on their pitchforks.

Visitors putting their handbags on the table and coats on the back of chairs, OK there's nowhere else to put them, but it's still bloody annoying, perhaps I could ask them to leave them outside, on the floor...?

People who want to emigrate to Australia/Florida/Bendorm and think that selling their two bed terrace in Scunthorpe will buy them a 5 bed with pool, and they'll never have to work again and will spend their whole life on the beach, oh and that it'll never rain.
Hahahaha, you numb fuck.

FAkePlasticTrees- I keep getting bloody emails from Amazon saying daft things like "you are interested in Elmer Toys (for example) - well have look at the Elmer Toys on sale in our toy section!"
what, you mean, the Elmer Toys that I've listed for sale? that's why i'm interested in them! stop trying to sell me my own stuff!!!!

yy to convos on the lav

my exboss used to follow you in there and continue talking about policies while you were both on the can

commando with jeans chafing and humid simultaneously one would imagine

actually you can add people who don't wear undies to the list. i love a good knicker, me.

Ive only read up to page 6 (which I suspect would piss some of you!) but mine are:

om nom nom

people calling me mum when I am not their bloody mum (ie nursery teacher, doctor etc)

people who have kid(s) who sleep perfectly / eat perfectly / behave perfectly and think it is entirely down to their parenting.

people who eat custard with fruit

white / cream prams or pushchairs

ponytails on toddler girls which contain approximately 3 hairs.

Argos adverts

Net curtains.

Oooh dear; I say om nom nom. Is that wrong? It probably is annoying now I think about it.

People who miss out words from their title.

People who are monica-geller-style obsessive about playing the game correctly.

People with country accents who say 'orf' instead of 'off'.

Oooh, and spikey plants lining the path to someone's house. Just put a sign up saying 'bugger off' if you don't want visitors, no need to try and make them bleed on the way to your door.

people who drive ridiculously short distance without any medical exmeption whatsoever

mrs lady-who-lives-behind-us - you can SEE school from your drive - you spend enough time poncing about in your gym gear to be demonstrably fit yet you insist on driving your yummy mummy mobile 200m to the school gate. WHY????

Oooh, and whilst on the subject the same people who want to emigrate because this country has too many immigrants.
Erm what do you think you'll be when you emigrate to the Costa Del Fried Breakfast?

The fact that I have to change my veg box order 2 days before it's delivered not the night before when I remember!

people (women)who say 'you've got him well trained' if i mention DH was doing the ironing / washing / cooking tea

Horsebrasses

Seren, you so don't know me, the 'orf' is Nancy Mitford posh, not country oik

Mayor - no, commando doesn't mean chafing and humidity. I don't wear clothes made of tent fabric, and it isn't Thailand down my drawers, cheers.

GetOrf, my niece recently found a box full of teeth my sister had kept, when my niece triumphantly piped up 'ha ha, I know there isn't really a tooth fairy', my sister responded, 'ha ha, life just got a bit cheaper for me!' .

All inclusive holidays.

Drinks in plastic glasses and unidentiable buffet (urgh) food.

Nope.

oh gosh that was actually true then

my whole perception of you has changed

Olifin - yes it is very annoying

desist

I shall do my best TheUnmentioned

fake super duper posh accents where people say 'orf' instead of 'off'

Better?

Lovely tables with a horrible plastic tablecloth on. I am 31! I am not going to spill anything on your precious table! (Actually, I might, but who buys furniture that is too posh to use?)

People who refer to their partner as 'she who must be obeyed' or 'my better half'. Yuck.

Nail extensions; especially those with jewels stuck on them. What is that about?

Fake tan, obviously.