to go straight to the Head about my concerns about HER?

[thedollyridesout]

DD has had a great first week at middle school, until this afternoon anyway. She came home off the bus very upset having been 'told off' by the Headmistress - let's call her Mrs Smith.

DD said that Mrs Smith shouted at her for pulling a face at a boy who got up and changed seats rather than have DD sit next to him. DD was not aware that she had done this until Mrs Smith bellowed at her something along the lines of 'you do not do that to another person young lady'.

DD was confused and mortified in equal measure. She feels that Mrs Smith was wrong to have spoken to her that way and the whole incident has tarnished her experience of her new school.

She can take very little pleasure in being Star of the Week or in breaking the Y5 long jump record and she certainly won't be striving for an award from the Headmistress. She would however accept an apology.

So am I mad to go and speak to the Headmistress about this? I would really appreciate some advice on how to handle things.

oh lol

iT tAkES tHE BOrG tO rAIse a peRFecT cHIlD.

I can see the situation for the learning experience that it is and will be wringing all the positives out of it.

OK dolly!

Meh, the boy might have been several things - a little shit/a shy child/just a boy who didn't want to sit next to a girl!

These children are 9/10 yes? (god I hate the new year system, in my day we were the years of age we were and then year one in secondary! anyway, I digress)

It's ALL irrelevant. This isn't about the HT being a bitch, this isn't about this ticking off, it's too small an incident for you and her (seriously) to worry about!

My advice? Soothe her, and temper it with a little bit of "c'mon DD! don't be silly! You can totally beat that record and you know you want to get the HT award until she giggles and then "ah forget it sweetheart! I love you, you're doing So well" and change the subject.

Don't make a big deal of this. And don't turn it into an issue with her, and all will be fine.

The HT might be a bitch, bottom line? She'll be dishing out plenty to those that deserve it, and from what you say your DD doesn't so - - LET. IT. GO

These are children and have to learn that the world is not a picnic,sometimes things aren't fair...they also have to learn to respect adults and do as they are told....soppy parenting has got society in the state it's now in...no one dares tell anyone elses children off even when it is deserved,for fear of a 'mouthful' from the other parent,whose child can do no wrong.......and we all moan like f**k about bad manners in todays kids....WTF

If you know you're so great why did you need to ask everyone's opinion?

Sorry Dolly but......you are a prat...show this to DD....not...you are doing her NO favours...

I like your perseverance Shirley, but I'm not sure Dolly is listening, or if she's listening I'm not sure she's hearing IYKWIM?

Oh and I x posted with your last jibe about being a great parent?

I am totally brilliant actually and all of my children are excellent so erm yeah

Thanks to all of you for your feedback. I am thinking that perhaps it is not a great idea to go in on Monday after all.

The issue of respect is a tough one. I have the utmost respect for my FIL, mainly because I refuse to think of him as a grumpy old git like his own DC do. We disagree, argue even but we always apologise when we have overstepped the mark. I prefer it that way.

I am not a 'soppy parent' and I have on occasion told other peoples kids off. I am always prepared to justify these actions, and as someone who isn't those kids parent, I would expect to be held to account. Why should a teacher be any different.

This is one of those situations where I think MN should relax their smilies code and let us have one of those which actually roll around and weep with laughter.

"It is threads like this that make me realise what great parent I am."
"I can see the situation for the learning experience that it is and will be wringing all the positives out of it."

Now it's me gobbing tea all over the keyboard ...
If that wasn't meant ironically OP, I really think you need to go to your GP, your pompous gland is overactive.

It's sad that your daughter got so upset, but your job is surely to ensure that such trifling things don't upset her so much in the future.

The way to ensure this is not to contact the teacher to get an apology. That is building the telling off into a "big thing" that is important. You should be minimising it into a small thing of absolutely no importance at all. Which is what it is.

totally love your OK Dolly post ShirleyKnot

The thing is, she is getting a little bit too old for cajoling

BOF...thank you for that...i really did need winding down from this...ROFL

What is "the situation" tho?

Yr dd did something wrong (surely we can agree) and has been told off. Yes, maybe the boy was wrong too and got away with it. Oh well.

I gave two students breaktime detention today for bad behaviour in class. I don't think they were totally the only two not being perfect. But maybe all the same I shd ring their parents to apologise

did I mention I have already sent an email ?

I do sympathise, but I don't think you should go down there and talk to the Head. It's hurtful, but in the grand scheme of things it's pretty minor so it should be your DD's to deal with or move on from.

Could your DD ask the Head if she could have a word with her in a spare moment, and then explain that she doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot, that she didn't mean to be disruptive, was retaliating but now realises it was still inappropriate of her to do so in class time and is sorry, she's worried the headteacher has got a bad first impression of her and she wants to show her that she can behave well. That way your DD will be motivated to have something to live up to, and hopefully the Head will be softened up and impressed by your DD taking responsibility for her behaviour. Life is unfair, but taking responsibility where it's yours is a good lesson, as is a bit of humility and willingness to co-operate.

She should not go in there expecting an apology from the Head. If she gets one, that's a bonus.

no probably not chances are they didn't tell their parents!!!

that was for clary btw.

Please Dolly ...just drop it...maybe your DD could go and apologise to HT for HER behaviour.....what about it?

actually Tess if it helps OP dd thats not a bad idea I expect HT would say thankyou if not apologising which would probably relax her dd if nothing else.

Something to think about Tess.

What do others think of Tess's suggestion?

Oh, and she's lost her school jumper too.

Do you not think that the HT has probably forgotten all about it by now?