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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not reprt afriend for benefit fraud even tho she has told me she is livin with her partner but pretending she doesn't?

162 replies

burgerandchipswithredsauce · 08/09/2010 00:54

My friend has told me that her partner is living with her but pretending he ives with his mother so that friend can claim benefits for herself and her 3 children whilst her partner works fulltime to earn money to enable them to afford luxuries that most working families can only dream of.

AIBU not to report them because I am afraid of losing her friendship even though I do not agree with her lifestyle.

BTW myself and OH work all the hours God sends to provide ourselves and our children with basic essentials. We have no money left at the end of the week for an evening out as we cannot afford a babysitter. We have to pay our rent in full - no HB for us as we are a working family. We also have to pay full costs for childminding as we are not a single parent family. Our council tax costs per month push us over the edge.

Also our children have to have a packed lunch every day for school because we cannot afford to pay for hot school dinners. My friends children, however, get their hot school dinners free.

Friend has been awarded over £500 for a laptop for her eldest to have access to the internet so that he is not made to feel different from his peers - even though friend already has 3 PC's at her home. We have a secondhand PC which is well past its sell by date but cannot afford a laptop as we make sure our bills are paid on time as our priority.

Friend has informed us that she is going to try for another baby because that will enable her to obtain a larger house for her family. We live in a (very) modest two up, two down terraced house and would love to have another child but cannot afford to move to a larger house to make this possible. As the law states the ages of my children it would be against the law for different sexes over the age of 8 to share a bedroom. Because of this law the LA go all out to house families on benefits accordingly.

Am I jealous? Yes in monetary value I suppose I am, but overall I think I would prefer my children to know they have a mother and a father who is always there for them and will always put them first.

OP posts:
justusfive · 09/09/2010 19:43

My neighbour (ds 12) has also received a laptop from the Govt, worth £530. It seems that single parents (or people in receipt of benefits?) are given laptops for children of scondary school age, to prevent the children from feeling different to their classmates - ie the classmates whose parents work hard for a living to support their children.

OP dob her in - thieving scum!!

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 19:56

justusfive -do fuck off

justusfive · 09/09/2010 20:02

Why UsualSuspect??? Whats your problem??

If you want to fund the lifestyle of benefit cheats feel free. As I have already stated most people do not.

If you work really hard for long enough your kids may get a laptop for Xmas. I am sure you would like to contibute to laptops for all secondary school kids who's mothers are claiming benefits irrespective that their fathers may be earning more than you. But that's fine,your choice.

tethersend · 09/09/2010 20:21

Oh God.

The idiots are winning.

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 20:28

Nah Tethers. All the intelligent people just can't be arsed in arguing this anymore.

The lunatics have taken over the asylum.

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 20:32

bought with justufives taxes hopefully

tethersend · 09/09/2010 20:32

Thanks Shirley.

BTW, I know a bloke who can get you one of those dogs, no questions asked. He could even get you a flatscreen one.

gallicgirl · 09/09/2010 20:36

I get the impression that we're not talking about topping up the benefit with a little "cash in hand" undeclared work but that the partner is earning a decent income?

I would seriously consider reporting your friend, anonymously if need be. When it comes down to it, benefit fraud is theft and people who commit it are prosecuted under the Theft Act. I understand your dilemma but I'm not I would want a friend who is so willing to commit a criminal offence and brag about it. Would you feel the same if she had committed a different crime? What if an old lady had left her purse in a shop and your friend stole it? Would you report her then? How about if she stole a car or a computer or whatever?

I know this is seen as an anonymous crime with no victim but in reality, every pound that is stolen through benefit fraud, is a pound that can't be given to someone who is truly in need and struggling to feed their family.

As for the fraud vs error figures, I think this is based on a 4% check of cases, at the most it's a 10% check so plenty of room for incorrect figures.

Good luck with the situation and whatever your decision is, I hope you're at peace with it.

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 20:48

I WANT A PLASMA ONE.

Anyhoo, the whole hoo-hah about the horrors of benefit cheats is an absolutely brilliant way to keep all on the working/non-working classes at each other's throats isn't it?

I mean, let's not talk about the billions and billions of pounds which have been shoved into the banking industry in order to prop up an economy - WHICH STILL REVOLVES AROUND BANKING - even though that has patently failed. Let's not talk about the complete and utter destruction of our manufacturing industries which kept people in jobs and with some kind of belief that if you worked hard you could earn a decent wage.

Let's not talk about the fact that thousands of jobs have been shipped abroad to places where they can pay the poor buggers next to nothing, because they have no other option...

Nah, let's all keep getting at each other, holding ourselves down, all to the tune of £FUCK.ALL in the grand scheme of our economy, but it keeps us fucking quiet doesn't it?

Christ. Vive la revolution.

justusfive · 09/09/2010 20:51

Ah so usualsuspect is claiming benefits! Why does that not surprise me? Birds of a Feather.........

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 20:55

yeah I have the biggest TV on MN .are you jealous

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 20:56

Gosh justusfive - you probably need to have a little lie down or something.

tethersend · 09/09/2010 20:56

Well exactly, Shirley. In fact, I'm just going to copy and paste my post from the other thread:

tethersend Tue 07-Sep-10 11:17:44
Must... not... post...

Gah. Can't help it.

It is very convenient for the government to distract the poorest in our society from asking questions about why they have so little by pointing at the tiny proportion of people who cheat the benefit system and blaming them. Get them to squeal on one another and you've got it made; they'll never protest or organise themselves into action. They're too busy ratting on each other. Divide and conquer.

In the eyes of the government (and justusfive, it would appear), benefit claimants and benefit cheats are one and the same- it is woefully naive to side with the government and do their dirty work for them. They think you're scum too.

Benefit cheats are not the reason we're fucked.

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 20:59

Applauds Tethers and Shirley

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 21:00

I've just been given a bigger council house to accommodate it

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 21:01

Tethers - George-y boy has done a brilliant little speech today about cutting the deficit by cutting benefits for people who choose benefits as a "lifestyle choice"

I enjoyed it. I especially liked the bit about hard working families leaving for work at 7.00 in the morning only to see the "BLINDS" (haha, not even curtains, BLINDS) still drawn on the house opposite as these terrible scroungers sleep in all day.

Where's the fucking jobs George? Where's the commitment to re-vitalising the employment market (and not by lining the pockets of already rich fuckers)

I am like a dog returning to it's own shit. A schnauzer maybe. I fucking love schnauzers. Them and their eyebrows.

tethersend · 09/09/2010 21:08

It's not the blinds which get me. It's the twitching curtains.

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 21:13

Do you know what really stuck in my throat on this - or it could have been the 7 other threads bemoaning the benefit cheating scumlords - is the accusation that if you are saying "nope, it's not reasonable to expect people who are living in a community to grass on one another in order to recoup some tiny amount of revenue, which would NEVER be put back into the communal pot " then you are accused of being a thief, scrounger, benefit claimant, murderer of small babies.

FFS.

Its so fucking puerile.

I know you are, what am I? bullshit.

tethersend · 09/09/2010 21:16

It's all going so depressingly to plan, isn't it?

Ninjacat · 09/09/2010 21:17

tethersend and ShirleyKnot good to hear some sense being said on here Smile

usualsuspect · 09/09/2010 21:18

I've been accused of all of them ...I'm thick skinned though and not actually on benefits,not that it matters ..or thick ,been called that as well Grin

ShirleyKnot · 09/09/2010 21:20

Yup.

I guess the best thing to hope for is that this lot will grind everyone down so far that there will be no option left but to say: "ENOUGH"

dorie · 09/09/2010 21:43

I promised myself I would not post on this thread but the last few posts show the ignorance and immaturity of some people.

I have to add that I found myself in a similar position to OP. I had a friend who bragged about getting benefits for her and her kids whilst her OH worked and claimed to be living with his mother. Guess what? I reported them and I have no qualms about doing so.

And No I am not jealous because someone has a large TV. Why should I be? I also have a 50" flatscreen on the wall. I reported them because I am sick to death of people abusing the benefit system.

I think the sensible people have left this discussion because it is getting more and more nonsenical by the minute.