to not get past this.

[NameChangeEmbarrassed]

Middle aged OH crapped himself. Having checked it isn't through illness, just through laziness, and I entitled to feel I may never get past this?

'Chuff nuts maybe and they fell as he romped up the stairs'

AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Well I guess that he was wearing a dressing gown with nothing underneath, hence a clear flight path from ring to carpet. But, as someone else mentioned, your healthy firm stool should just land with a gentle thump and be not-too-difficult to actually pick up, carry to chodbin and deposit.
Then scrub the carpet and wash your hands please.
Splatterfest all over the wall suggests a bodily malfunction.

(Actually I really don't want to speculate about this any more...)

ROFL SolidGoldBrass

Are you sure he's not just bluffing his proud 'laziness'. Men can be funny when there's something wrong. This is way beyond laziness!

He poos himself through laziness? Kudos to the man, frankly; he appears to have reached a zen level of personal stillness.

at this thread now (sorry OP)

well this is the grossest thread I've read... possibly ever!

anyway... YWNBU to suggest a doctor, because of the family history.

maybe he does have issues (IBS or something) and is embarrassed. no excuses though, either he should be able to hold it a couple more minutes (hell, my just-trained DD had the runs the last few days and even she managed to wait!) or if he knows he can't then don't keep eating breakfast FGS!!!

EUWWWWWWWWWWWW

how is your relationship otherwise, NCE?

Morning all - thankfully no repeat performance over breakfast this morning.
Started off in the spare room, but then felt guilty (!!!) about making him feel bad so relented and went back to ours. Stayed over my side though and gave him a hard kick when he migrated my way in the night.

Relationship is ok, usual moan about him not helping arond the house enough, but he is fab with DS.

The visual image has faded a little over night. Thank God.

Okay, I am going to take this thread at face value in case NCE's dh or anyone else out there really is going through this.

A man I know in his 30's started 'not making it' to the toilet in time. He was diagnosed with IBS. Turned out it was the first sign of MS and within a year he could no longer walk.

Get it checked.

NCE, just read through the thread and just want to say I don't think you're trolling. The man I know had no other symptoms at all, just sudden lack of control.

Keep an eye on dh, if it happens again he may not tell you.

I have to say, though I do see the humourous side of this, I agree with spiritmum.

I personally don't think I know of anyone that is just too "lazy" to get to the toilet in time.

My gut (sorry) feeling is that he couldn't hold it in, which he is probably too frightened or embarrassed to admit.

Perhaps in a few days you can talk to calmly and just ask if that was the case.

I'm with spiritmum - this can be a gross side effect to an underlying condition - have had a couple of close shaves myself for the same reason as her friend.

Without trying to scare you, maybe have a chat with him today or tomorrow now you have calmed down a bit and see if he's had any close encounters of the turd kind that he may not have told you about (or got caught out with) previously

If he really was just THAT lazy, then I would be continuing to kick him to his side of the bed for...oooooooh....at least another week!