Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kidnap my 2 year old nephew and feed him biscuits?

129 replies

dilemma456 · 05/09/2010 16:00

My nephew (nearly 3) is a vegeterian - my SIL's choice and not one that my brother supports though he tolerates it.

He is also denied anything but organic vegetables, nuts or dairy products and only brown bread and not allowed cake, biscuits or anything processed. He is even stopped from eating anything but the food his mum brings him at birthday parties. Even when he goes to visit family she sends a packed meal or there is a list we can choose from

There are no health problems and my SIL is lovely apart from this obsessive behaviour over food.

AIBU to want to spirit him away to a table covered in crisps, chocolates and biscuits? I don't mind the vegeterian side of things but the rest is wearing.

OP posts:
onimolap · 05/09/2010 16:03

Totally unreasonable if you actually did it. Not unreasonable for wanting to......

ArseHolio · 05/09/2010 16:03

No yanbu.

Smuggle the poor deprived soul some magic stars Grin

sorrento56 · 05/09/2010 16:04

YABU. Not your child, not your business.

Bunbaker · 05/09/2010 16:04

LOL.

The poor child is going to go mad at the first chance he gets. When he is old enough to stay at children's parties on his own he will eat and drink so many e numbers your SIL won't know what has hit her!

I applaud her wish to give him a healthy diet, but it does sound that she is OTT about it.

Is there a possibility that he has allergies or intolerances and perhaps that is why she is so vigilant?

Ronaldinhio · 05/09/2010 16:05

feeder

nattiecake · 05/09/2010 16:06

I wish i had this trouble with my cousin :(

She is coming up to six years old and weighs nearly nine stone....

ZZZenAgain · 05/09/2010 16:06

if he has no health problems - maybe her diet is working?

I don't know why he has to eat cakes or biscuits. Give me crisps any day. What kind of biscuits did you have in mind?

hairytriangle · 05/09/2010 16:10

YABU. I think his parents are giving him a fantastic dietary start in life, and it's none of your business anyway.

Skyrg · 05/09/2010 16:12

I'm sure you don't mean it like this, but I did think the phrasing of 'I don't mind the vegeterian side of things but the rest is wearing' was a bit patronising...
You don't mind? How kind! Grin

violethill · 05/09/2010 16:13

Agree with Bunbaker.

You don't need to worry about wishing you could feed him biscuits- he'll go to the other extreme as soon as he's able to make his own independent decisions, and probably spend his teenage years stuffing crap.

Your SIL clearly has food issues which is transferring onto her child. Being a vegetarian - fine. Eating a healthy diet - fine.

But taking it to the extreme of sending special food along to parties for him, and providing a list of approved foods for family occasions is stupid, and very unfair on the child, who must wonder why he is singled out like this. Eating is a social thing as well as providing fuel for our body. At parties or other occasions, he should be encouraged to understand and accept that there might be certain foods that most people wouldn't have every day. If he is trained to think that these things are so awful that he has to have a separate bag of food sent along, he's going to have warped views of what food is all about. Also, some people might really take offence at this behaviour, and find it awkward to deal with, which increasingly is going to impact on the boy.

It's all about balance. Being extreme in any direction is likely to result in a backlash.

semicolon · 05/09/2010 16:14

It won't last.

He'll be necking all sorts once he starts school.

The first soft play birthday party he is invited to will be a revelation...

SirBoobAlot · 05/09/2010 16:15

YANBU. Can you post him some chocolate digestives or something? Grin

compo · 05/09/2010 16:15

I was convinced op would be reality Grin

DuelingFanjo · 05/09/2010 16:15

YABU. Is he being damaged in any way by eating healthy food.

TrillianAstra · 05/09/2010 16:18

Compo, Reality's nephew needs to be fed something other than biscuits.

violethill · 05/09/2010 16:18

Of course eating healthy food isn't going to damage anyone physically - what a bizarre idea!

Surely the OP is concerned more about the obsessive nature of this. The mother sends food along to parties, and won't let her ds eat what everyone else does. She also sends an approved list of food to the family before visits.

Obsessive behaviour (whether its about food, or any other issue) IS emotionally harmful.

bumder · 05/09/2010 16:21

YABU. My LOs very rarely has processed/unhealthy food. As others have said they will be having all kinds when they start school so why give them sweets at 2 years of age when they will eat healthy food instead?
It does seem a bit OTT to take your own food to a birthday party - quite rude to the host if nothing else but it's hardly the parenting crime of the century and nowhere near as bad as giving your kids too much unhealthy food and making them obese.

semicolon · 05/09/2010 16:21

And if she has another child she will be just too knackered to care what he eats - she'll just lob him another cheese string from the sofa.

hairytriangle · 05/09/2010 16:22

"Your SIL clearly has food issues which is transferring onto her child. Being a vegetarian - fine. Eating a healthy diet - fine."

I disagree. Biscuits, cake and processed food, although the 'norm' are luxury foods, and I see nothing wrong in totally eliminating them from a small child's diet at all.

TheSmallClanger · 05/09/2010 16:24

YANBU. Healthy eating is all about moderation, not obsession. The whole lunchbox thing can't be good socially either.

violethill · 05/09/2010 16:25

Cakes and processed foods the norm? Hmm

I don't think so. I think parents want to feed their children well, and avoid processed food, sugar, etc most of the time. But for most parents, this wouldn't extend to being obsessive and actually preventing the child from eating whats offered at parties. I think any obsession is an 'issue'.

semicolon · 05/09/2010 16:26

Hmm

I see nothing wrong with homemade cake and my 14 month old eats a fair amount, along with the other two girls.

A good plain banana cake contains a good amount of calories plus protein and fat for a small child.

motherinferior · 05/09/2010 16:26

A life without cake is a life not worth living, IMO.

More seriously, small children need fats - and they need not to have too much fibre, as it'll just whizz the food out of them.

They also need to be brought up with a healthy attitude towards food. Which a strictly proscribed list of Approved Foodstuffs is not going to do.

Original poster
dilemma456 · 05/09/2010 16:27

skyrg are you sayig you would't find it wearing to be sent a list of what is acceptable for you to feed your nephew?(assuming as in this case there are no allergies etc.)

OP posts:
fattybum · 05/09/2010 16:31

YABU. Would you prefer it if she was feeding him on crisps and chips and not much else! She does sound a bit obsessive, but he is only two and I get sick of people critisising others for feeding their children healthy food, whereas the junk food lifestyle which is common now is seen as the norm and not a problem! At least she cares

Swipe left for the next trending thread